taking another year off uni?

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Helena1

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has anyone had 3 years off uni mid degree? i think if i ask they will think i am taking the piss or something. my mother thinks i should quit uni and get a job. i dont quite know how she expects me to get a job if i cant go to uni. i really so want to complete my degree though. it is not something i can do via open uni i dont think. i love my degree so much and i really want to get a job in that field.

i also don't know what to do with regard to my living situation. i have my own flat till september then i have no income (parents give me money atm for food and have already paid for the year of my flat lease) so will have to move home with my parents. i am very against that as i do not like that area as i cannot go out there for fear of seeing people i know and so i will never get better in that situation. i dont think i have any chance of getting benifits though. my gp thinks i should get a job. plus my parents have just got a dog and i have a very big fear of dogs as my dad was attacked my a dog when i was a child and had a massive scar on his leg.
 
Anime-Alchemy

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I'm sorry to hear about your predicament. If you think it's for the best that you take another year of uni, then go for it. You still have the drive and motivation to succeed in your degree and therefore I have no doubt you will complete it. Maybe definitely target next year as a year to get back into the degree?

I really hope your degree and housing situation works out for you.
 
burt tomato

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There were people on my course back in 1994-97 who took years off. There was one guy who repeated multiple times. But there were others too. It was quite common.
 
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Helena1

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that makes me feel a bit better brat.
i don't know anyone and haven't know anyone in uni except in my first year so i have no idea if anyone has taken a year or more off. i feel like i just mess people around and should leave as take up too many people's time and resources. but then i have already done 3 years and only 1 year left.
 
burt tomato

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I remember clearly one guy becoz we visited his flat. He was the year above but he took quite a few years off.
But there were a few. People making changes to their course. I was very lucky to pass truth be told. But thats another story. ;)
 
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they have said point blank they are not paying for a flat unless i got to uni and even then they are only willing to pay per month as they don't think i will last going back. they say they can't afford it. which i do understand as they have paid a lot for me over the years above what normal parents would pay and they havent received anything back for it. but i know it is a lie as well as they just got a dog which is going to cost god knows how much and dad is planning another trip to america.
i feel like they have had enough of me. i insinuated to my mum that i was suicidal and she didnt care at all.
 
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Helena1, your last couple sentences make me sad as my family has the same attitude with me. My situation is different...If I were you I'd consider getting a job while focusing on therapy BUT still take the year since it sounds like you're consideringg it because you know you need it. Personally I'm taking my year now and am considering taking another, I'm only mentioning that because I struggled really badly my first year. I thought of taking it then but was very stubborn, proud & in denial...there were other reasons but essentially I knew I needed the time off & I didn't take it. I struggled throughout until I finally took it, now here I am...What I'm saying is do what you know will work for you. Your parents have done good for you & it's great you want to acknowledge that but don't make yourself suffer just because of that. I understand their wanting to be selfish because they've done so much but your last couple sentences as I said makes me sad. No loving parent should hear their daughter is suicidal & not show concern. Mine does the same the & I know how it feels. It just isn't right...If you want to talk you can respond or just message me.
 
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Helena1

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i cannot get a job! if i could get a job i could go to uni couldn't i? it is social anxiety stopping me.

it doesn't matter.
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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Is thereanyway you can get on ESA & housing benefits to help costs of your flat? X
 
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no. i couldn't do the assessment and dont think i would get it if it did.
 
SarahD

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I think it would be worth trying to get ESA. The problem is you would need some medical support. Is there anyway you can get your doctor to understand how difficult it is to work while the social anxiety is so bad? (I don't know your history, is there any other medical professional who could help provide evidence for a claim?)

If you don't have an income you can get housing benefit. The problem is you need something to live on. Sorry I am not much help. Really feel for you.
 
SarahD

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#12
Sorry - our posts crossed.

You could explain that the assessment interview would be impossible because of the anxiety.
 
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i seen my gp today. i dont think i could bring it up with him. he is useless and i doubt he would support it.
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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I wish I had a solution I'm sorry :( I'm giving up on ESA and having to try go back to work as i have zero monies eeek there should be more help available or easier to access I duno its so hard :hug5:
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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should be sorted by now, I can't see no reason why its not, have you left your job? or should you be getting sick pay from them? You should speak to CAB asap.
Agency won't pay SSP, going to try go back as I have to have money to live I can't go on without it. My forms have only just been finished today with my CC so need to send it then it'd be another 4-6 weeks she said til interview so I give up! I just have to work I have no other support/option
 
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Have you tried Citizens Advice Bureau, I wish I had gone to them when I first became unwell and off work, because I've just found out, 2 years later, that I should have been entitled to more benefits but didn't know about it and now too late for me to back date - as back in work again.

The benefits agency won't tell you everything you're entitled to, you have to find out yourself, but CAB will do that for you.

Surely they can't just get away with not giving you any money to live on, there must be something you're entitled to but I haven't a clue what
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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I dont understand any of it.... The local cab is only open Mon 10-14 and I only realised after 2 today so will have to wait a week... I've been offered shifts at work sat and sun as my sick note runs out friday, I know i should go back to work but the shifts are 7.30-22 and it might be too intense and its a home ive not worked in yet.