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Taking a break...I'm so tired

Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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I've thought long and hard about this and I need to figure out my life. Without MHF. I need to come back stronger and today proved I'm not strong. Far from it.

So I'm taking a much needed break from life. From here. I've already disabled Facebook and I guess this place needs to go too. I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm probably upsetting someone. I'm sorry :sorry:
 
chazxxx

chazxxx

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Im not sure wether i should say you should stay or not. Ultimately, you must do what you think is best for you - if thats taking a break then fair enough.
But if its because of what happened earlier - please don't let that make you feel reluctant to post. The vast majority of people here are incredibly supportive. I think that was a one off today.

If you are sure its what you need then i wish you well and hope you regain the strength you need. :hug5: Xxx
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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I'm just so tired. I want to sleep. I need to sleep. I can't sleep. But I want to sleep. I can't even take Temazepam. Mom won't let me. I'm just tired.

I think I'm at my wits end. I don't know how much longer I can go. I try to get out of the house everyday but that's getting harder and harder everyday.

I'm deeply depressed. I care about each and everyone of you. I really do. I don't want to hurt anyone with my death. I'm trying to think about that.
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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I don't know. I go to therapy every week and when I'm like this we don't do much.

Thank you for looking in on me.
 
tabbykitten

tabbykitten

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maybe limit the amount of time you spend on here but still visit sometimes? Do you think that might help?
 
chazxxx

chazxxx

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I don't know what to say to help, i know how exhausting it is to continuously feel like this. I really hope you can get some well needed rest. Maybe once you've had some sleep you can make a decision then? And even if you do leave for awhile you know you can always come back or pop in & out. :hug1:
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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I think I'm just tired. I will limit what I post and how much time I spend on here for now. I just want to feel happy. Not manic, happy.

I think once I get into school it'll be better.
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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I can't even go to sleep or attempt to right now :low:
 
G

Golden

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I hope you slept well Lincoln. How is the medication going?
 
katya

katya

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Don't feel bad for doing something that's good for you. If you feel it'll help you to be away from the forum, then do that; people here only want what's best for you. I'll miss you, as I'm sure will many others, but you're the most important thing right now, and if you need to sleep, then have a lovely rest, Linc. The forum will be right where you left it if you ever want to come back too.

:hug1:

Please, please, please make sure you're safe, though.
 
Last edited:
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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It's a hard day today...Mother's Day...I hate today
 
megirl

megirl

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Hi there.
Do you really think leaving here is what you need at the moment.It sounds like you really need as much support as you can get at the moment.
I am also concerned about your safety.
I hope you can keep safe and look after yourself, nurture yourself,
Maybe you might need to not come on the forum as much but do use us as part of your support network.
I arent here as often as i used to be but still like to check in as needed.
Its part of my life and I have always found the forum useful,

xx
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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I hate Mother's Day. It reminds me of my daughter I lose in 2008. I've been a mess all day and now my two cousins are having babies. I'm just cynical and I hate myself for causing her not to have good lungs. It's all my fault. I hate myself. She would be six almost seven. She would be in kindergarten. I might be a different person but I would have my girl. I hate today. I want to sleep. But still can't sleep and I threw up my sleeping medication but can't take another because I did digest some of it.

I'm safe for now. Im just tired. Latuda isn't doing very well. The higher the dose the more I shake. I'm going to crash and burn. It kills me to say I don't work. I hate myself. I've been around way too many people today. And it snowed last night but it's all gone now. My dad cut out the mild so I can sleep in my room.

There's just so much going on but I can't imagine going into it today. I saw my cousin who sexually abused me when I was 8 today :cry: it triggered me. I'm sure if I sleep I will have nightmares.

Someone's house burned down today and he was life flighted by helicopter to a burn unit with severe burns. It was gun powder that caused the explosion.

My head is a whirlwind of thoughts.
 
megirl

megirl

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Hey am sorry you have been through bloody hell.
The loss of your daughter is not your doing at all!
In no way
None of this is your fault at all!!
Sometimes its best to try not be around people that trigger us. Seeing your cousin today was a really hard thing to do and today you may have been best to avoid that situation and nurture yourself instead.
Try and avoid triggering situations at times easier said and done.
It appears to me that you are a wonderful caring person and you need to believe that.
I wish you didnt hate yourself you arent to blame for what has happened,

xx
I really think you need some extra help at this time.
Its great having you around and i hope you dont leave the forum.
I when unwell sometimes get into the cycle of self-destruction and try and get rid of my support network but deep down i need them and like you deserve all the support i need.

Hey and the job thing well its hard but your health is more important.
I would so very much love to go back to my nursing but I couldnt cope and yeh it made me a lot worse sadly.
xx

keep safe x
thinking of you
 
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