• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Synchronicity/coincidences

I

icodsch

Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Bulgaria
The hardest things with my OCD are the coincidences that happen constantly. All that work to deal with obsessions and compulsions is not so scary, as are the coincidences connected with the fear of my current trigger.These coincidences with my "magical thinking"and mental contamination" OCD are just killing all my hard work, because when they happen i just can not give logical explanation. It is very discouraging , which gets me very anxious and nervous. Anyone experienced weird coincidences during their OCD?




ОТГОВОР
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
62,807
Location
Lancashire
:welcome: to the forum. I haven't got OCD but I think "magical thinking" is part of a lot of MH conditions and I am interested in this.
 
S

sab1978

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
182
Location
Canada
Can you give an example of one such coincidence?
 
D

Deleted member 86004

Guest
:welcome:
I find this very interesting too..and exhausting,,, I don't have OCD but this "magical thinking" is one of the main aspects of my experience. I do have some obsessive compulsive tendencies but it is more in the back of my mind than in the front 🙏
 
I

icodsch

Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Bulgaria
They are so many,i do not know from where to start even.... It has been a hell. Actually every coincidence is linked or "i link it" subconsciously to my trigger for obssessive thoughts in OCD. My trigger is a person who passed away three years ago.That shocked me enough to start having intrusive thoughts about that event and him. So for example : when i started a new job the employee's name that was previously in that position was the same my triggers name. I hear his name at the worst moments, i see the numbers of the date of his death everywhere combined like a registration plates, clock time, everywhere at the worst moments. Walking somewhere and the moment i pass through some people i hear my triggers name mentioned. There are tons more and more scary but i will keep unless you want to know more details.
 
S

sab1978

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
182
Location
Canada
Ok, I can totally relate to this. It’s as if the universe keeps throwing it in your face to taunt you. At least, it feels that way. I look at it differently now when that happens though. I look at these coincidences as opportunities to see what’s still unhealed in me. Gentle reminders to do more work on myself or address the triggering event more thoroughly through therapy, meditation, posting here etc etc. So, I’ve come to see them as a positive. I know sometimes we’d rather not be reminded of the feelings associated with the triggering event, but until we recess them completely, they will be stored in you, ready to wreak havoc. Can you reframe the coincidences to see them in a positive light? They can be your reminder that you ha e more work to do. I think once you’ve fully processed the feelings (can take a lot of time), you won’t even notice the coincidences anymore. Actually, you won’t even label them as coincidences because they won’t even register in your mind as anything other than daily noise.
 
S

sab1978

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
182
Location
Canada
Not “recess”...I meant “process”
 
I

icodsch

Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Bulgaria
I am really thankful and appreciate your answer!!!! I absolutely agree with it. It is unhealed. Actually the way my OCD obsessions work is simple with every trigger - something happens, brings me distress, i do not react properly to it, starts to chase me. For example i a guy who offended me many years ago in internet and i did not react to him , became my OCD theme , intrusive thoughts with his image ,name and irrational fear that i can turn into him like "mentally contaminate " by him . Because i feared him. That ,as you say, stayed unhealed in me. I run away , i didn't answer back to the bully. I noticed coincidences with him too. But once i decided to face him off as a problem, i talked with him years later, i faced my fear and felt stronger that him. So he completely disapeard as a coincidence,fear of his image and name. And the false feeling fear that i can be contaminated by him disapeared. It is like the case is closed. But now, in that situation, all these coincidences and intrusive thoughts about that guy who passed away stay unhealed. I can not turn the time back. Once i found out he passed away , was in post in facebook and i was so shocked that i skipped it and did not look again at it. I couldn't believe. I simply did not react to it. I can not explain why this played so big role to my psychic , really..... I can not face him, what can i do... All that situation and stress stays unhealed ,as you say. It got so intense and stressful that ruins every aspect in my life - motivation, relationship, job. I can not find a way. I got mad at that guy for no reason actually, i got mad at God for letting this destroy everything and even destroyed my four year relationship with an amazing girl. I start to think irrational. Starting to lose ground sometimes. And it is the coincidences that challenges my sanity the most. I start to wonder is that a signs from God, a punishment that i really losing faith to Him. I don't know really starting to go "crazy". And maybe thats it because as a person i am very stick to logic and rationality. I want to explain everything logically. And when this super things happen - boom . Blows my mind i can't explain these coincidences. The only theory i have is that i spot them subconsciously more often because i fear it may happed. I don't know. Sorry for long answer. I really , really thank that you participated in my worries here. Can't thank enough that you took your time to share some words for me. Thank you!
 
S

sab1978

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
182
Location
Canada
Maybe this is another lesson for you...that sometimes, you have to let go, accept and have faith that the universe/God will support you. Every time there is a coincidence, thank the universe/God for the sign that he is supporting you. If you can reframe your obsessions into something positive, at least you’ll benefit when they come up. You might still be obsessed, but they won’t distress you as much. Keep working at it ❤ There is something positive to be found in EVERYTHING.
 
D

Deleted member 86004

Guest
No need to apologize for a long answer, we are here to talk things out after all :)
I feel so conflicted a lot of the time because I like to try to find the logical explaination too. But I think it's also important to see it this way...even if something is "all in your head" in a way..it is rational because it is your experience of reality...I just say this because I am sick of people saying things like "it's all in your head just snap out of it" when our brain controls everything we do🙏
 
I

icodsch

Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Bulgaria
It will be hard job to do , because instead of getting that positivity of it, i get full blown anxiety attacks , i feel scared, that may be signs that me, or my beloved ones are turning into my trigger. I feel nervous, sad and unmotivated to do anything . Thats the essence of "mental/emotional contamination". And whenever it happens my mind tries to overthink it.
 
I

icodsch

Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Bulgaria
Thank you Subota, maybe at the end of the day, it is really all in our head ,psychically, emotionally and subconsciously. I realise everything in me is driven by FEAR. And it is irrational most of the time . The problem in me and OCD sufferers is that the fear is a lie OCD is a lie but feels so real , that person got stuck in the mood often. Fake feelings, fake fears. But we can not just "snap it out".
 
F

faith0401

New member
Joined
Jun 20, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Skokie, IL
Dear icodsch,

I agree with you that OCD is a lie. But it can be hard to get out of its web, and so-called signs or coincidences can make it even more difficult.

I'm dealing with a situation right now that is bothering me, and I have taken some comfort in hearing that it appears somebody has dealt with things that are similar to what I have dealt with.

You mentioned seeing numbers everywhere at the worst moments. Brother, I can relate! It's hard to describe, right? But if I were to say, "man, it's the timing of things that can be really difficult," does that resonate with you? It's the timing of seeing whatever I saw and the feeling/sense/thought I had and maybe an additional factor or factors that make it difficult.

I can offer some advice, but I readily admit that it isn't always easy following my advice : )

I really like sab1978's advice about reframing the coincidences to see them in a more positive light.

You and I can not deny that we saw that number at that specific moment, or that such and such took place...

But, we certainly do NOT have to accept the view that seeing that number at that specific moment, or that such and such took place means something unwanted!

So I ask you, my friend, what does it mean that such and such coincidence took place? What does the feeling say it means? What do you sense it might mean? What do(es) the thought(s) say it means? Likely something unwanted, correct? So I ask you... are they correct? Does it mean something unwanted?

You might answer... "Well, maybe."

My response... "Well, maybe not. Actually, no, they do NOT mean something unwanted! They never did mean something unwanted in reality. They do NOT mean something unwanted in reality. And they never will!"

You could call what took place (for example, one of these coincidence things) a blessing instead of calling it a problem, a bad thing, or something unwanted. That is an example of reframing. You could even say you are "renaming" it.

Additionally, the person who passed away 3 years ago... You did not cause it. Nothing you did (or did not do) caused it. I want you to be whole and free in regards to this. See what took place with their passing through the lens of faith. It doesn't mean any of the unwanted things any unpleasant feeling/sense/thought says it means. Stand on this truth. Don't give an inch. Be victorious!

Don't give up : )
 
Last edited by a moderator:
M

Mal Evans

New member
Joined
Nov 18, 2021
Messages
2
Location
Sri Lanka
Hi,

Sometimes I get this "intrusive thought" that something horrible will happen. There is no logical reason to think this - no external information/incident prompted it. Just an intrusive thought. I know this is irrational.

However, the anxiety persists. In order to calm myself, I make this arrangement in my head. It goes something like this.

Say for example, I might roll two dice and say, "if 7 falls three times in a row that horrible thing will happen" (this is just an illustration for the purpose of clarity - the specific arrangement may be different). I know that if the "three 7s" don't fall, my anxiety will dissipate.

So I anxiously throw the dice. It's SEVEN!! I am getting really nervous now. But I tell myself, "hold on I said THREE 7s". I roll again - nervously. Seven does NOT fall. What a relief!!! I feel calm again.

In my state of letting go of the tension, a song comes to my head. I realize that the last word of the song has seven letters. I brush it off. Then another song surfaces. Seven letters in the last word again!! I get nervous. "Ok", I say. "This is just coincidence, let's see the third song". The third song emerges - I got the THREE 7s.

I tell myself, "hold on, that was NOT the arrangement! The arrangement was with the dice. NOT with the songs!!" I try to calm myself by saying that three "7 letter" songs in a row is within the realm of probability. It's no big deal.

But then I randomly think of songs, blocking out the number of letters in the title. This is to show myself songs with 7 letters in the last word emerge frequently. The "7 letter" sequence stops. Then, I make a new arrangement. If the next three songs have 7 letters, this confirms my anxiety that something bad will happen. It happens!!!

What do you think is happening here? The primary arrangement of the dice throw didn't result in three 7s. The secondary arrangement of the songs that come into my head DID result in three 7s.

Is this a classic case of me trying different arrangements until I get the stated result of three 7s. Is my subconscious mind throwing the "7 letter songs" in order to confirm my anxiety.

Am I perceiving a causal relationship in situations where there is none? In my anxiety am I creating the worst case scenario in my head.

Above was just an illustration. There are other manifestations as well. For example, while in the course of a conversation, I might get an intrusive thought. My next three sentences would end with seven letters. Again, is this the workings of my subconscious mind?

I believe there is a scientific explanation to this. If there was some supernatural agency behind this, it could have got me the three 7s on the dice roll. But it didn't.

Anyway, this can sometimes be debilitating. For example, after I get an intrusive thought, I become afraid to speak my next sentence or hum out a tune in case I get the dreaded "three 7s". To be honest, it doesn't happen all the time. But it happens with adequate frequency to make me nervous.

Please give me your perspective and views.

Thanking you all in advance!!!
 

Similar threads

Top