• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Symptoms returning?

Quijas6

Quijas6

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 21, 2020
Messages
303
Location
USA
I've been off an anti-psychotic for over two and a half months. Recently I noticed some internal dialogue that could be possible symptoms. I first noticed that I "heard" words that I used to hear before medicated. Words like "hole" and "jeans" would pop into my head. Before I had elaborate delusions when that occurred. For example, I thought when I heard the word "hole" it was the secret service noticing there was a hole in my protection and working to amend the situation. However, now, I hear the words and don't attach meaning to it.

The past few weeks I have been noticing that when I'm around people (sometimes) I think that I am following a subtext conversation that is going on below the surface. The most of the time it's me thinking that I can tell when they're thinking I'm crazy (like they look at me and I think "crazy" which I think is their thought) but other times I think I said, "No" to an conversation that was going on below the surface. It's hard to explain and does not happen with everyone I'm around nor does it seem to happen over the phone, just in person and usually in higher stress situations (like at work with the new clinicians, my boss or at my sister's birthday party last week). I was starting to think it was not a big deal and was finding the information helpful until yesterday when one of my best friends was concerned. So I am trying to monitor closely and figure things out.

I'm not sure what my options are. I'm going to try reality testing with a friend I trust (basically ask him if what I think he's thinking is what he's thinking) but I'm not sure that will work because I might not trust his response and think that he's hiding something from me (plus thoughts are so personal that oftentimes people would want to admit to having them). I'm also maybe going to try to just hold it a part, as a symptom, as long as I can still go about my every day and concentrate. The other option that I thought of was go back on medication, but I really don't want to do that. One reason is because of how I felt on the med but also because I read a research article that said long-term people do best off anti-psychotics.

I'd really appreciate other people's opinion and personal experience on the matter. This has been a high stress time for me -- first with interviewing for an internship and then having new clinicians at work. Plus I am trying to branch out with online dating and going to my sister's birthday party took a lot of work. Also, I got into an intense conversation with a friend about two exes of mine . . .
 
L

linus

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 27, 2019
Messages
1,394
Location
Eastern Europe
I think it’s important to share somehow what you are going through, with someone you trust emotionally. Take care of your sleep, love and be loved and you’ll be ok :)
 
Top