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Swings and Roundabouts

M

Marmite

New member
Joined
Aug 22, 2009
Messages
3
Hello, I'm new to the forum so hi!

I haven't yet been to my GP but i've been reading alot about the symptoms of Bipolar, rather cringe worthly after watching eastenders and thinking oh my god thats like me!

Although i'm still not sure I have Bipolar I know that for years I have been going through the same daily cycles. I can wake up one day on top of the world, one positive thing can happen and I will be full of energy, confidence and charm, my words will roll off my tongue, i'm witty and confident, I feel confident about my ability in work, I feel attractive and I can talk to people with normal confidence. I can look people in the eye, I can be efficent and full of new ideas.

Then I can wake up hardly able to think, forming scentences is difficult, I can mix up my words, forget words, forget to do things, be unable to make ye contact with people,I can feel ugly, unattractive, as though everyone else is normal and i'm from another planet. I can sit in meetings with people I know well and normally able to communicate with and be barely able to talk infront of them. I can feel my neck and my face go red and everything I know about my job gets up and walks out of my ears.

I'll find myself walking around with my head down, I'll mumble my words, I'll forget to do things which are part of my every day routine.
The other day I went to work wearing a top which really needed a wash and I just hadn't even noticed it was dirty.

I'm in the process of buying a house and i've recently been promoted and when I feel good I am really happpy and excited about it and when i'm feeling low I'm scared and anxious about my ability to own a house and do the new job.

I can meet up with friends who I have known since school and sometimes I will be the life and soul of the party,full of fun and good humour and other times I can't even look them in the eye, I have little to say, i'm nervous and anxious about not being happy and full of conversation.

I'm just wondering of any of this is familiar to anyone??

Thank you for reading my rant!! :)
 
M

Marmite

New member
Joined
Aug 22, 2009
Messages
3
Just reading this back I sound like an @rse.

I'm going to see my GP tomorrow, quite scared. :unsure:
 
A

Ainsworth

Guest
Just reading this back I sound like an @rse.
no you dont

i have BP or they think i have, i have something lol

do go to the GP tomorrow if you are worried, they will refer you if you need to be.

good luck
 
B

bluebell24

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 7, 2009
Messages
106
You don't sound like any such thing to me. In fact you sound like you just popped into my head for a bit : )

Do go and see the GP, but please also remember that while promotions & house-buying are fabulous things they are also v stressful so be kind to yourself too.
 
M

Marmite

New member
Joined
Aug 22, 2009
Messages
3
Thank you! I finally managed to get an appointment to see one of the GP's at my surgery. It turns out the pop in sessions are a total wste of time. Anyway, he was really unhelpful, looked at me like I was just making it all up but thinks I might have cyclothymia. He was so matter of fact about it, said sooo do you want medication or counselling.

Told me just to ask at the desk about being referred to counselling which I had to do with a queue of people behind me which was great, they knew nothing about it and said I had to call back on a tuesday when the sun was at its highest point in the sky and they might be able to get one of the seccie's to give me the number, great I thought.

So I will be using the counselling service provided by my employer. I know its more than just feeling a bit down and I know i'm not a drama queen. :mad:
 

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