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Suppressed feelings

Jimny

Jimny

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Do many of you find it difficult to 'feel' your feelings.
Part of my therapy has been to write about my feelings in regards to incidents throughout my life, I can put pen to paper and write down the feelings I think that I should have felt.
What I cannot seem to do is 'feel' my way through the incidents. It seems quite clear that I have shut down my feelings at some point, probably as self protection / defence.
I have a difficulty in expressing anger, I know I should feel anger but it just doesn't come out when it should.
Unfortunately that anger does come out very occasionally and shocks myself ( and others ) with the intensity of it over seemingly minor issues.
I have read in many articles that to suppress one emotion is to suppress all of them.

Does anyone have any tips or recommendations to reignite these feelings or to release anger or even if that is possible.
Whilst in the gym yesterday I looked at a punch bag and thought hmm I wonder.
Today that punch bag is going to regret looking at me that way, what did you say 'punch bag'?..
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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I can totally relate to this.
I think you're right, it is probably our mind's way of protecting itself, but nonetheless it isn't pleasant to feel so detached from your emotions.

For me, I think it's important to give yourself permission to feel an emotion if/when it naturally arises.
I'm terrible for shutting myself down as soon as tears fill my eyes, but i've got much better at saying to myself "go on, have a good cry".

Do you find yourself becoming emotional at any content like Tv, music or film?
That can sometimes help me access an emotion. I suppose I tell myself because it's fictional, it's somehow "safer" and so I find it easier to let go.

There are also more holistic ways i've heard of and experienced.
One is to just breathe (through your mouth). You use breathwork and explore sensations in your body.
Not sure what your beliefs are, but I think mind and body are linked.
So if you have a bad knee, breathe and really focus on that sensation. Then ask yourself if the pain has an emotion attached to it etc.

Finally, i've found art journalling really helps.
So the idea is that you don't write how you feel at all, you draw it out. You choose colours that fit in with the emotion and draw any images that come to mind. The book i've got is "Creative Journalling - The Art Of Finding Yourself" or something like that, but you don't need the book to do it.
I've started the journalling feeling numb and by the end of it i'm repeatedly writing "FUCK OFF" in angry red letters. It feels good to get it out though.
 
Jimny

Jimny

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Over the years looking back I have never really allowed my emotions to flow naturally. When my father died it was almost seven years later when I just happened to pop in to see a tarot reader on my lunch break, pour sod must have wondered what happened I sobbed uncontrollably for an hour.
But since the start of last year I have never cried so much, I started to begin to release it scared the hell out of me, it may seem odd but I have always been able to feel others pain, sadness and emotions intensely.
I searched and found from various psychics that I could be claresentient, it certainly seems plausible from my experiences. I do now believe in spirit.
There have been so many times in my life that I have been a human punch bag emotionally and physically that I think my my mind and spirit gave me an ultimatum, that's enough this HAS to stop.It is a miracle I am still alive and one which I hope I will learn to celebrate.

I know I can feel love, compassion and sadness I have down to a 'T', it's anger and frustration I bottle up these can sometimes lead to rage. Like you mentioned expressing them at the time is key, very difficult for me having been a punch bag these emotions pent up lead to rage which scares me more than anything.

I don't watch too much TV, music and films certainly stir my emotions with a few tears. It might be a while before I can watch anything romantic.
i try to meditate every day and use breathe work. That's a great suggestion with the art journaling I will try that, you should frame your 'Fuck offs'. I love some of Tracy Emins work, there's so much anguish in there.

I certainly walloped the punch bag today, it might have helped.I have never even tried a pair of boxing gloves on before.

I have one for you to try, have you ever tried any mantras?
Calm yourself into a meditative state and repeat Om Nemah Shivaya 108 times focus onto your minds eye and repeat. This is easier with prayer beads.

Om Nemah Shivaya - I honour the divinity that resides in me.
 
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Jimny

Jimny

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Somerset you asked what my beliefs were and another member also asked what I meant by spiritualism.
This question really resonates with me at the moment and it's something I am very open to, faith.
IMO faith is such a broad and diverse subject no where near as boxed in as I used to regard it, I beleive everybody equally has the same energy within them. A connection to a higher power if you like, it might be a case of if and when you choose to tap in to it. You may never explore it or feel the need to, fair enough.
It appears certainly in my own experience it's when faced with adversity, perhaps taking off the everyday glasses one views the world with and looking at the bigger picture? In my experience something did not sit right and was missing.
I refuse to buy in to 'celebrity' and feel this has become a very one dimensional, shallow form of faith.
IMO and in example, Simon Cowell is a successful business man and that's it, obviously i don't know him and couldn't comment on his other attributes.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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First of all, sorry to hear you lost your father.
It may have been a while ago now but it must have happened when you were young? Not that I think you're old now. But you know what I mean.

And don't worry - i've sobbed during a tarot reading before as well. :rolleyes:
It was at a Mind, Body & Spirit fayre and i'd had reiki previously - I think the reiki is what set me off but this tarot reader got the brunt of it. :doh:

I haven't tried mantras.. I might give it a go.
I use affirmations but obviously they're a bit different. I imagine you can get quite into a 'zone' with mantras.

I don't think what you said about feeling other people's pain is strange at all.
I totally get it, sometimes it's not just emotional but physical pain too that I tune into.
So it sounds like you're very empathetic.
I think that if you did feel everything 100%, then as a sensitive person life would be overwhelming and unbearable. Imagine walking down the street - you'd be constantly bombarded with other people's issues.
So as you know, the shutting down is self-preservation.

I hate to keep saying "I know what you mean! Me too!" but, I totally resonated with what you said about releasing your tears and being scared by it.
To be honest, i'm terrified when I tap into the depth of my own pain. There's so much of it that it doesn't feel like my well of tears would ever dry up.
But I think it's important to cry whenever you can.
Someone once said to me "Baskets of burden are emptied in your tears" - that was so profound and it also feels so true.

I do think it's a case of slowly and steadily releasing things when they come up, and trying not to put a lid on it. Just give yourself permission to feel, even if the emotions aren't pretty.
It can be really good to be witnessed in that too. I have counselling, go for alternative/spiritual therapies and it helps me a lot. It's important to feel validated I think, in order to move forward.

Sorry, i'll stop writing now 'cause I feel like i've said loads. :rolleyes:

Oh and just a p.s. - I've seen some of Tracey Emin's stuff. Some of it makes me laugh but I was pretty shocked by some of her work too. But hey, I think that's a sign of a good artist.
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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I am one who doesnt cry but flips my lid at the drop of a hat. I am waiting for CBT as on my most recent Dr visit she said its all in my head, I need to relearn everything. I had an angry dad so I guess its a learned behaviour :( I see it already in my son so I am desperate to get better.
 
Jimny

Jimny

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Thank you so much for your post, validation and association do really make us feel we are not alone. At rare times the empathic feeling I can get from feeling others pain and emotions is so strong that I feel physical pain, I tend to shut myself away.
Reiki has certainly helped me 'balance' out in the past but I would unfortunately step back in the lions den and lose that balance.
I need to find another Reiki practioner, the last one kissed me as she said the energy flowing between us was enormous. It was a bit charged, to be honest I didnt mind it felt amazing.
I found EFT left me a bit wobbly and emotional at times for a week or so.


Hi maybe, I also had an angry an violent dad. It has affected me no end in my life, my mum is extremely passive and emapathic. My emotions get twisted in knots, I have learned behaviour from my Dad which I don't know how to channel and empathic from my mum where I seem to accept anything from somebody.
Where's me?
I was invited to a spiritual event today with a Marharaje, this guy flew in from Brazil and has been travelling for twenty years around the world spreading love, it is considered an honour to be in his presence.
He spoke of reincarnation,18 million soul incarnations to take human life form, this life should be celebrated with fun joy. This guy was full of life, singing and dancing...burping made me chuckle.
He asked to speak with me and spoke of suicide, I could feel it coming and yep the flood gates opened. If there was anywhere I wanted to hold on it was then.
Sometimes I wonder if I am vulnerable due to MH and prone to external influences or if my soul yearns for recognition and nurture and I don't have MH issues.
 
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maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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I keep an open mind to spirituality but I fear my anger has clouded any connection.
My dad was angry but my mum was something else lol. I do believe their 'parenting' begun my mh issues and its taken me too long to deal with them properly and they've manifested into something terrible.
 
Jimny

Jimny

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You mentioned 'flipping your lid'. Do you release the anger at the moment when someone / something makes you angry ie recognising it? Do you flip your lid at any angry situation?
Have you found a way of releasing any pent up emotions? Anger, frustration, fear.
Apologies for the intrusive questioning, Im trying to get a handle on my issues.

I've tried ranting and raving in the middle of a field ( seemed to scare the crows away )
I've beaten up a punch bag ( I say beaten up, I was the one who ended up sore )
I'm hoping if I continue to do these it may gradually release.
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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I can flip into a rage over something simple not done right or at an angry situation. I'm had to remove myself before giving into violent urges, sometimes ive given in. I'm not in a great place with my anger and its made me feel a whole lot lower.
I dont practise a healthy release, I'm just waiting for CBT to hopefully learn
 
Jimny

Jimny

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I am also waiting ( impatiently ) for therapy. I really hope that can help.
I seem to internalise the anger, It has never lead to violence. I pray that it never does.
Sometimes the anger came piling out over the last year or so if I was pushed for long enough. Most of it came out as severe anxiety though I believe.
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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Ive been waiting almost two months and expressed I was acting on violent urges. The system is so so slow. Ive been back to my dr since and she's said from her side there's nothing she can do either :(
I hope too you dont have to wait long or ever get the urges. :hug1:
 
J

jeztepes

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i was doggie trained by my mother as a kid never to express certain feelings ,, mainly anger ,fear and violence ,,, made me unbalanced in normal society and a victim ,,,when they did come i was trained to drive them inside which caused a warped personality and depression,, 50 years later i have learned to adapt ,but when i let my anger out or stand up for myself its usually at the wrong time ,,suppressing feelings is a very bad thing
 
Jimny

Jimny

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i agree it is very slow, I have been told a few months. I have found a subsidised service, You and me counselling and I will continue to read and educate myself on my issues for the mean time.
This site has been very good, there's nothing like first hand experience.

Jez, I can relate. I learnt to adapt to some degree.
I entered and remained in physically and emotionally abusive relationships, after the last one I had enough.
The emotional abuse tore my whole existence apart. I refuse to carry on adapting.
Bold words but I live in hope.
Have you sought help or tried your own methods of overcoming this?
 
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