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Summer Vacation 2019

tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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Joined
Oct 30, 2010
Messages
5,044
Location
Bristol, TN/VA, USA (near mountains and 6 hours fr
Yesterday was for celebrating. My doubtful but desirable outcome would be to put my house in order before next semester. We have hit hoarder status! I want to again be able to say "I did it!" Having cannabis at hand, I know I will keep toking on it. It makes me tired and spacy but also makes me feel good and has a particular relaxing to it. Makes me want to go back to bed for days. I have made 2 trips to carry dirty dishes to the sink. It took almost no time but there are more, yet I sat down. for the first 1/2 of class I would work 6-12 hours. I don't give the house an hour! ok. YAY I did 10 minutes laundry and picking up. Toke toke. Have a smoke. I will play modified speedies. they run either 10 or 15 minutes per hour. Feels like it could take me all day and it would still be untidy. ....more dirty dishes 3 min= 13, repeat 4 min=17; toss trash 2 min=19.........
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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Joined
Oct 30, 2010
Messages
5,044
Location
Bristol, TN/VA, USA (near mountains and 6 hours fr
Hi
Your presentation was great! I think you made your subject come alive. I didn't expect that your presentation should be exactly the same as your papers, and it's fine that you didn't talk about all that you had in your paper. I think the class enjoyed your presentation! Thank you for reinforcing and reiterating what I think is important too, and hopefully all have become more aware of the damage we can do to our environment, and that we will take the steps to do what we can do.
Hope you have a wonderful summer! I will look forward to seeing you in the fall!
......from my prof!
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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Joined
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Messages
5,044
Location
Bristol, TN/VA, USA (near mountains and 6 hours fr
day 3 Well, Dayna called which meant we spent hours on the phone. Then I stayed up way too late going over the college catalogue getting myself stressed again. lol. not enough sleep. out of smoke. back to bed for me
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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Joined
Oct 30, 2010
Messages
5,044
Location
Bristol, TN/VA, USA (near mountains and 6 hours fr
WOW! I so crashed out so hard I slept like a dead rock all day long. It's all good, I have really been needing it for weeks and could not get a solid nap except the day I was so sick & that wasn't restful. I have tried to take naps but just couldn't really rest deeply. I did empty the office trash can and asked David to help me with the the backlog. He worked on dishes while I slept.I hope he ran the dishwasher. I didn't check but I know he put dishes in the sinks to soak to prep them for the dishwasher.
Thursday I wrote my mother a longish letter for Mother's Day. I did not cater to her. All that ended when they were so nasty to us when we visited about 1 1/2 yrs ago after asking us to come. As far as I am concerned that relationship is irretreviably broken. I don't even know if my dad will show her the email.
I will never get any support, encouragement, praise from them. Even acknowledgement lately (on FB) It has been a one way street and I am done.
I deserve better than that. I had spent over 20 years, giving, trying to repair and support the relationship.
I have not completed my celebration yet. That is a meal out. I have not decided where I wish to go. I will probably choose a "low class" buffet where for a reasonable price I can eat a variety, as much as I can hold. Now, will it be the more affordable American home food or oriental? My problem with the orientals is that almost everything is chicken based. Maybe I should do some research?
I was too tired today to even send a message about some smoke being due. Now THAT is tired! lol.
You know, academics is where I get my positive feedback, where I can excel. I think I still have the pdf with the text for intro to political science. I keep thinking about reading it leisurely to have a headstart.
right now, I am going to go start the dishwaser. brb.
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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Oct 30, 2010
Messages
5,044
Location
Bristol, TN/VA, USA (near mountains and 6 hours fr
dishwasher going. You know, I even liked all that writing tho I pushed myself too hard at points. In a way, the instructor is kind of the only person who knows what I think. and about issues that matter. I enjoyed speaking. I did it totally off the cuff. I would like to give it again..it would be better because I would make bullet points, which I hardly need, but I did forget a couple of things and the flow could have been more smooth. Nevertheless, as given it was very much like a conversation. I think the little mistakes helped people to identify better. None were quite as comfortable speaking as I am. 3 used power points, simple ones, and just went over the points from them. One was so quick and spotty, I can't remember her topic and another who had a great topic was so terrified that she could barely speak at all. I felt bad and wanted to encourage her. I was going to send her a quick note later but wasn't sure of her name. My prof said I brought my subject to life. That, to me, is the best praise ever. Like I said, it was conversational. I talked to the class. I was a storyteller. I tried to engage them. I explained the farmers' mistake, why they made it. Drew it with my hands (I gesture a lot). Said I would do the same and asked them, wouldn't you? and paused. looked the room over. some were nodding along. Prof had a big smile which really encouraged me and spurred me on. My opening was almost a rough start, but I looked at her and she gave me the nod and with that, I took off.
Now, how can I make keeping house rewarding? That is the real summer mission.
 
Topcat

Topcat

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2,452
It sounds like you've got a real skill for public speaking tilta, I am the opposite and absolutely hate it! I'm glad that you've found a place to get positive feedback for all your efforts, I'm sorry it isn't with family, but fantastic that you've found a good road to go down.
I hope the housework doesn't take over too much, keep chipping away hopefully you can make a dent.
Enjoy your meal out!
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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Oct 30, 2010
Messages
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Location
Bristol, TN/VA, USA (near mountains and 6 hours fr
More celebrating! Got my final exam score 94%. My overall course score will be minimum 95% Can't wait to get it next week! I still haven't decided where we will eat but I have ordered my smoke reward. Should be in around 3pm.

Thank you all so very very much for the support and encouragement! It means the world to me.
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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Joined
Oct 30, 2010
Messages
5,044
Location
Bristol, TN/VA, USA (near mountains and 6 hours fr
Went to bed, crashed, was drooling sick for hours. Woke up for some antacid and back to bed.
The antacid did it's thing AFTER I got up. YAY
I put all my coursework-paper in the trash. All I had written was to the size of a textbook. It was cause for pause. So we refilled the trash and I have just emptied it. David has unloaded the dishwasher.I still do not have my final score. Offices won't be open for hours. I do get up early.
Got to return textbook or they charge and arm and leg while really they will throw it away. This one has been passed around and marked up enough.I would like to keep it, I have lost most of my best books. or given them away. Ideas are meant to be shared. I love Tennessee's free community college. I pay the disabled tuition, which is low, so that I am not required to work toward a degree, thankfully my math and science from before timed out. They moved a lot to "electables". At the time it only needed 4 credit hours/liberal arts. Have to get 15 credit hours here if I wish to graduate. 12 now. Next: World Regional Geography Then US History IF I can get the honors course and finally in fall 2020, Intro to Political Science. Tena makes plans and G*d laughs. Might as well laugh along.
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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Joined
Oct 30, 2010
Messages
5,044
Location
Bristol, TN/VA, USA (near mountains and 6 hours fr
Well, yesterday was awkward. Didn't know what to do half the time. Smoked and just could not hit any housekeeping groove. I did finish carrying all but the flatware into the kitchen for that processing line. lol. We filled the trash can again. I will try to put more pride into this progress. It will be much easier once I get SOMETHING cleaned up. ...emptied trash again and refilled coffee.
Normal next up would be news but not now that I got high. I looked at Funk's journal last night. Thank you, it is inspiring. I got an idea. I will think of dishes in terms of what David gets up to. I do like it that way and when I keep up and he grows trust. speaking of my angel...I just heard the door open. It's fine. Early days, I haven't been out long. And today is just beginning. I did get sick last night but went back to sleep on propped pillows after my stomach emptied. I was obsessed with getting my grade. Still am. They put a hold on it for a parking ticket, we paid it as soon as we found out but the data entry hasn't caught up yet. I know I have a 4.0 but I want to know the %. and it being my first completed class at this school, without the credits posted, I have a below 2.0 which flagged me to see an adviser and registration was put on hold. I am going to print my grades sheet since I am wanting into the honors for history. Ok going to copy and paste that student account business to my disability adviser.
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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Joined
Oct 30, 2010
Messages
5,044
Location
Bristol, TN/VA, USA (near mountains and 6 hours fr
He went back to bed and after a bit I joined him. Took 1/2 seroquel and 1 klonopin. Slept soundly but had disturbing dreams of a sexual nature. They weren't pleasant nor too traumatic. They weren't my partner but that is good, I was processing that in the end I did not like the personality of this lover. I'd rather not dream sexual material though. Not controlling my dreams it feels like this was pushed on me therefore, an invasion, pornographic. My mind kept them from developing too far into actually dreaming sexual acts. I have woken feeling spacy and headachy. Took Goodies powders and a couple bowls cereal. Got to be careful with that..the cereal goes down well but often causes turmoil later. I have poked around pitifully putting trash in the can.
I had decided to go back to bed for cuddles with David because I think he might be kind of depressed. I know I could just ask. But not yet. I wrote Destiney a short letter. I added some stamps but no money or gifts this time. Instead sent Mom Nancy a dream catcher shower curtain she loves. Nancy says she will be sending snack packs a little later. Those are nice to have and a person can turn a hustle from them but Des has gained a lot of weight in the last year after losing 40 pounds the first year. I don't want her to be hungry of course. Hopefully when out she will eat much better and lose some weight. I, myself, am overweight. I hate it. She was also overweight in the first place but it has really gone overboard lately. Personally, I would not send her boxes of snacks. She gets enough commissary for treats. David just left to give Joe a ride to the ballfield. I am going to rush in there and clear one sink of dishes and get them loaded. brb.
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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Joined
Oct 30, 2010
Messages
5,044
Location
Bristol, TN/VA, USA (near mountains and 6 hours fr
Darn. Wished I had timed that, it is often reinforcing if I do. But 1/2 loaded and 2 sinks soaking. Why do I do everything in parts instead of just starting and finishing a task. I don't know. I want to think about that. that whole thing just might be worth unscrewing.
I don't know how to make twice-cooked pork and should have looked it up...but have thin cut pork chops, cabbage, carrots and garlic and David is going to pick up some spicy oriental sauce. Sounds smart with a finicky stomach, doesn't it? smh Tomorrow is fettucini alfredo. Staying on it with dinner and dishes always helps the structure of a day for me. oops brb again
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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Joined
Oct 30, 2010
Messages
5,044
Location
Bristol, TN/VA, USA (near mountains and 6 hours fr
Fuck. I didn't print my grades earlier, got distracted and now the course is closed and inaccessible. It had all the positive critiques on it. shit. and disability lady has not responded. I guess I should check to see if she did anything. pfft. She did 1/2 the job. My credits are now on there and my gpa is on and is, as known, 4.00 but I can't find out what my % score was. She did not go on to check off those classes that I was not given credit for..a general one, a literature one and something else. That is 9 credits! BUT...guess what. When I first came to NE and talked to the disability adviser about honors classes she told me to forget about that, it was all very hard to get into. BITE ME. It now shows that I am honors eligible and who to contact. YES!! She used to almost roll her eyes at me when I would say that I want my 93%. Didn't quite know who she was dealing with, did she? bwahahahaha You know what I would really like to get my hands on? The next textbook: World Regional Geography. Same prof. I work well with her, she doesn't make a deal out of my too many absences.It's a long read, would be nice to have a start. I need a dr letter on absences. Is it true or could I be studying for the US History honors class. eh, tilt? but...new news, good idea
House keeping, any and all comes first should I find the least ambition. Or figure out how to make some.
 
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