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Suicidial friend

  • Thread starter midnightphoenix
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midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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sorry for being a bother to everyone by posting this

i got a friend who i only got contact with in email and she's been needing a lot of reassurance, i went offline last night and from what gmail chat thing would let me see, she's started talking about suicide again (she's talked suicide in gmail messanger chat thing previously, years ago)

i had said goodnight to her after reassuring her last night, came back on to check and she's flooded me again with suicide talk and i cant help her, what i said to her last night was all i could say

i really cant deal with suicide talks at the moment, not when i'm barely treading water myself and have thoughts myself of someone being out to get me and my girlies cause they want me to be dead

she knows Willow has not been well, fur losses and trips to the v**

she seems to need more than i can give her, i seem to be her dumping ground for when she's upset (which i dont mind being - when i'm stable enough)

but when i know certain people are making plots against me and intend to make me and my girlies be dead i cant be dealing with suicide talk

midnight unreadable now so she get lost before anyone gets annoyed and angry
 
kimidare

kimidare

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It s so difficult to not be overwhelmed by our own problems, sometimes we can t handle more.
It s good that you protect yourself, you need it.
For your friend, you can send her all the help/numbers you can access here, tell her again to try to talk to a therapist, maybe think about hospitalization or give her some app names like Wysa.

I know it s frustrating for the person who hear/read that. But everyone is struggling. And we should do the good choices for ourselves even if it hurts.

You re not a bother.
Take care of yourself.
Everybody has the responsibility to reach for his own care. Others can help a little sometimes, but we need to seek for professional help.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Hi midnight I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling. It sounds like you are a really great friend to this person. It’s okay that you can’t be there for her now. I would let her know that you have been struggling lately and that, as a result, you won’t be able to be there for her like you usually are. I’m sure she would understand. Never feel you have to apologize to us for what you post here. You are no burden. You are part of our community that gives and receives support. You give so much support to people here on the forums that you should be able to get it back when you need it. It’s what we are here for. xo, j
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

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It s so difficult to not be overwhelmed by our own problems, sometimes we can t handle more.
It s good that you protect yourself, you need it.
For your friend, you can send her all the help/numbers you can access here, tell her again to try to talk to a therapist, maybe think about hospitalization or give her some app names like Wysa.

I know it s frustrating for the person who hear/read that. But everyone is struggling. And we should do the good choices for ourselves even if it hurts.

You re not a bother.
Take care of yourself.
Everybody has the responsibility to reach for his own care. Others can help a little sometimes, but we need to seek for professional help.
I would take your friend's talk of suicide very seriously. She obviously needs help. I would let her know of the following resources for her:

It may help to have a look at these two pages on the forum: Suicidal Crisis and Mental Health Forum - Getting Help about what to do if you're feeling suicidal, or if you need emergency help. I hope you can use the forum for support during this difficult time.

If you’re thinking about suicide and are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (i.e. in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111) or call the international emergency number of 112.

If you have been affected by the contents of this thread and would like to speak to someone about your feelings you can call one of the following helplines:

In the UK and Ireland, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
In New Zealand, the Need to Talk service is on 1737 or 080017371737.
Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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I would take your friend's talk of suicide very seriously. She obviously needs help. I would let her know of the following resources for her:

It may help to have a look at these two pages on the forum: Suicidal Crisis and Mental Health Forum - Getting Help about what to do if you're feeling suicidal, or if you need emergency help. I hope you can use the forum for support during this difficult time.

If you’re thinking about suicide and are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (i.e. in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111) or call the international emergency number of 112.

If you have been affected by the contents of this thread and would like to speak to someone about your feelings you can call one of the following helplines:

In the UK and Ireland, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
In New Zealand, the Need to Talk service is on 1737 or 080017371737.
Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.
I tried telling her previously to get professional help, I can't keep her safe in real life, she blows up when I say about professional help
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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I tried telling her previously to get professional help, I can't keep her safe in real life, she blows up when I say about professional help
Don’t feel bad, midnight. It sounds like you have done a lot for your friend. At some point there is not much more you can do. At the end of the day she has to make an effort to help herself and you have to have the time and space to take care of yourself too. xo, j
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Hi Midnight,
You are right it isn't your responsibility to keep her safe, if it's distressing you.
Are you able to block her, I know this sounds harsh. You have to put your needs first to.
She needs help, and you have already advised this to her.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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Hi Midnight,
You are right it isn't your responsibility to keep her safe, if it's distressing you.
Are you able to block her, I know this sounds harsh. You have to put your needs first to.
She needs help, and you have already advised this to her.
i dont want to block her unless i have no other choice

cause i dont want to be responsible for a second suicide :(

i been blamed on a different forum for one suicide, i dont want to be actually responsible for a suicide this time :sorry:
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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if friend does a suicide it will be midnight's fault, just like freshhell from the forum i got blamed on :sorry:

freshhell did not blame me, it was the staffs there who blamed me cause i was offline :sorry:
 
kimidare

kimidare

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I recently blocked someone who seemed too dependant on me, and triggering for me too. It wasn t an easy thing. It s sad. I m sure it hurts him. So I understand, but I would like you to take care of yourself.

I hope you don t feel responsible for the suicide on another forum.

At the end, it s the choice of this person, and we can t control that.

Now I avoid being too close, by pm etc with people on the forum.
 
kimidare

kimidare

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We are probably a lot to have sometimes been in the same position of your friend.

We want to talk so desperately to someone, that we rely on one person, or just a few. Some are already fragile and/or can t be always here for us.
It s frustrating, and it gives a feeling of abandon or betrayal. But if we think really about it, it s not the fault of the others. It s just too much pressure. If helping suicidal people was so easy, we would not need therapists.

It s our job too to get better. And if a friend says that he needs a break, if we love him, we must take care of him by taking care of ourselves.

(It s more easy to say at another person than ourselves XD maybe one day I will apply my own advices..)
 
Z

Zoe1

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no Midnights doing a harm doesn't help anyone

how about inviting her to come here ?

:hug:
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Please don't hurt yourself, you wouldn't be to blame. Nobody should have blamed you.
Very difficult situation your in.
Would she/he phone or email the Samaritans?
 

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