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Suicide

Sophie

Sophie

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
Messages
3,214
Location
Spain
Yesterday I felt like taking my life. I have just come back from the UK. I have 2 sons, 1 I have not seen for 14 years, he has slight learning disabilities and is now 28. When I separated from my ex husband the children were at his mothers house. He would not let me see them, or talk to them. My ex and his family told a load of lies about me, and poisoned there minds. My youngest son got in touch with me, and we are in constant contact, we have to keep it from my ex as he would kick off even though he is 25. I got in touch with my eldest son a few months back, each Tuesday I would phone him. Gradually he came to trust me, and looked forward to my phone call. I met him while in the UK, we had such a lovely day, and arranged to meet again. He text to say that he didn´t want to meet, then changed his mind, then changed it back again. I thought that my ex had found out, I phoned up and spoke to my ex. I saw my son again, and had a lovely day. When he got home my ex was funny with him. He is annoyed that I phoned up, and is ignoring my youngest son. This is all down to me. I tried to phone my eldest, he would not answer the phone, I knew that he was there because the phone was engaged once. I felt really bad yesterday for the trouble that I had caused. The 2 times that I saw my son have been tarnished thanks to my ex. I just thought what is the point to all this suffering that I am going through, is it really worth it, I could end it all now. But then I thought of my youngest son, and the people left behind. I want to feel happy and be my normal self, not having to battle on each day, pretending that everything is ok, when its not. I just don´t know how long this is going to last. But then I have forgotten how it feels to be happy and normal.
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Messages
13,623
Sophie,

I am so so sorry you have been having all this trouble, I hope you can find the strength to get through this.

Take Care
KS
XXX:hug:
 
cloudberry

cloudberry

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jan 26, 2008
Messages
409
Location
North Lincolnshire
It is totally normal to want to see your kids.

You are bound to be unhappy when you are prevented from seeing your children. Is there not some legal help you can get to have support with access?

You are strong as a mother, tap into that and dont let this take away or sap your strength. That is precisely what your ex is counting on. Fight for your rights as a mother, to see your children.

Try and do it calmly and rationally though, or you just give "them" more ammunition.

Big hug :grouphug:

cloudberry
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
If you tread very carefully Sophie, and don't get drawn in to any negative discussions about your ex, and try to be as flexible as you can, in my opinion your sons will realise who is causing all of the problems here...your ex.

Don't give up, they appear to be coming around, and in my opinion they will not appreciate your ex meddling like this. They will realise your ex is not looking after the interests of their welfare but his own. They are adults and grown up enough to make their own choices and decisions and it is wrong of your ex to get involved like this.

If you attempt suicide and don't succeed it may have catastrophic effects on your future relationship as your ex may say 'i told you so' or something similar to your sons.

Stick with it hun, I know how painful this may be for you :hug:
 
Sophie

Sophie

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
Messages
3,214
Location
Spain
Thanks for the reply´s. My youngest son has been to Spain to see me.He is planning on coming over again in March. The way things were going with my eldest it looked like he would come as well, but I think that is out of the window now. I have never said a bad word to them about there dad, and believe me they is plenty that I could say. But I am not going down that road, after all it is there dad, even though they have been lied to about me. I have told my youngest that he can ask me anything he wants to, and I will be honest and tell the truth, I have nothing to hide. But it still hurts so badly. The second time that I met my son, he was confiding in me, I thought this was a major break through. He even said that we should have done this years ago. But with him having special needs, they have done a good job on him, and now he is feeling all mixed up and guilty.
 
Jo1760

Jo1760

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 25, 2008
Messages
1,507
Location
London
Hi Sophie,

I am sorry to read you are going through such a tough time at the moment. I can't begin to understand how difficult things are for you, but I just wanted to give you some support.

You are a good person, your supportive and you clearly care a great deal for you children. I really do hope that you can begin to built a relationship with your eldest. It is such a positive thing that your youngest son is coming over to spain to see you. I truly hope this is a thought that can help keep you going.

You have obviously been so strong though all of this and also but not speaking badly of your ex it is a real credit to you.

Please take care of yourself Sophie.

X
 
Q

quality factor

Guest
Hi Sophie, just wanted to give you my support in you're problem, and I hope you are able to find the strength to get it sorted in a positive way.

QF.
 
Sophie

Sophie

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
Messages
3,214
Location
Spain
Thank you all for your kindness. They has never been a day that I have not thought about my 2 sons. When my youngest got in touch with me a few years ago I was ecstatic. Since then we have kept in touch, he has been to stay with us in Spain, and is coming to stay this March. We asked my eldest son if he wanted to come, and he said that he did. Even though my sons are 25 and 28, everything has to be done on the quiet, so that there dad does not find out. He is nothing more than a control freak. My eldest son said that we should have met up years ago, but he is vulnerable, and scared what his dad and grandparents will say. He told me that he wanted to move out, I told him that if he wanted, I would get in touch with social services and get me the right department. They have places where they have a warden on 24 hours. They show them how to run a house, cook, and pay bills. My son asked me to find out about this, then later said to leave it a while. He didn´t want anyone coming to the house, in case his dad found out. He has also told my youngest son that he wants to move out. He told me that they are over protective.
Yesterday I felt so bad , that I was ready to walk. My husband said that until I found out about all this trouble, I was more like my normal self. He said that once I found out about what was happening, that's when I went down hill again. We sat and talked, well my husband did most of the talking, and what he said did make sense. It is my eldest sons birthday on Wednesday, I have sent him a card, I will phone him and hope that he will pick the phone up. I have missed so much of there life´s 14 for my eldest son, and 6 years of my youngest son.
 
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