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Suicide TRIGGER WARNING

K

Krozzy

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Mar 22, 2021
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15
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Nottingham
I constantly think of suicide and ending my life. I’ve tried a few times to take overdoses but despite ending up in intensive care every time, I always get found and brought back to life. Hospital visits, crisis input, medication reviews have never helped me and the voice never quietens down. I quite simply don’t want to live anymore. I want to take my own life this afternoon but I worry I will just end up disabling myself and still not die. I’m so scared of another failed attempt. I just want peace
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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It may help to have a look at these two pages on the forum: Suicidal Crisis and Mental Health Forum - Getting Help about what to do if you're feeling suicidal, or if you need emergency help. I hope you can use the forum for support during this difficult time.

If you’re thinking about suicide and are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (i.e. in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111) or call the international emergency number of 112.

If you have been affected by the contents of this thread and would like to speak to someone about your feelings you can call one of the following helplines:

In the UK and Ireland, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
In New Zealand, the Need to Talk service is on 1737 or 080017371737.
Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.
 
S

squizofrenia123

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Nov 21, 2020
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earth
I've been there myself. I had the same feeling after I lost everything I had in this world, including my mind. BUT, life does become better with time. You see, the way I think about it, is sadness can be situational, due to genetics, or due to a combination of factors. The constructive way to deal with depression is to try to think about matters to help you forget about your sadness. That is, talk to others, listen to uplifting music, read good books, cook good food, walk in nature, do things to make yourself happy in other words. Mostly if your depression is situational, then doing things to make yourself happy usually are effective. BUT, if there is a more insidious cause, such as having a family history of depression or may be some other illness, then you need to see a professional ASAP. Anti-depressant medications do help but take time to work. I have a family history of mental illness and also have a mental disorder so I went to see the doctor. I was put on medication which helped for awhile until I became hypomanic. So, I am off anti-depressants now. But, I am on Abilify which helps with mania and depression. Thus, may be, you need to find the right medication for yourself. In the meantime, please occupy your mind with positive thoughts and activities. Lastly, keep posting here and tell us how you are doing!
 
Y

yellowsun

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Mar 27, 2021
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indonesia
Hi, please don't try to take your life anymore. We're here to help and support you. Sorry to hear what you are going through, and that you had tried to end your life before. It's tough and scary.

Can you tell us what's bothering and burdening your life?
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

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Joined
Feb 6, 2021
Messages
1,462
Location
Punta Gorda, Florida, USA
I constantly think of suicide and ending my life. I’ve tried a few times to take overdoses but despite ending up in intensive care every time, I always get found and brought back to life. Hospital visits, crisis input, medication reviews have never helped me and the voice never quietens down. I quite simply don’t want to live anymore. I want to take my own life this afternoon but I worry I will just end up disabling myself and still not die. I’m so scared of another failed attempt. I just want peace
"I want to take my own life this afternoon but I worry I will just end up disabling myself and still not die."

That was my thought when I attempted suicide--that I wanted it to be successful, because I did not want to wind up with my organs being damaged and having to live like that for the rest of my life. I thought what I was doing would definitely be successful, but it wasn't and I didn't suffer any consequences from it.
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

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Mar 3, 2020
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I constantly think of suicide and ending my life. I’ve tried a few times to take overdoses but despite ending up in intensive care every time, I always get found and brought back to life. Hospital visits, crisis input, medication reviews have never helped me and the voice never quietens down. I quite simply don’t want to live anymore. I want to take my own life this afternoon but I worry I will just end up disabling myself and still not die. I’m so scared of another failed attempt. I just want peace
I have also been where you are at, but please don't act on the impulse. Things can change for the better very quickly and have in my life. You want to be around when it does.

There is no shame in seeking help if you are at your wits end, contact one of the suicide prevention outlets that were noted by NWiddi or you can have yourself hospitalized. You have to recognize you are valuable in the grand scheme of things and act accordingly. Your words in this forum have already made a difference for several of us, that is valuable. Take care.
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

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There are several good TED talks about suicide on YouTube.com. I recommend you watch those. Watching a couple of them helped me greatly when I was in severe depression and contemplating suicide several years ago. They helped me through. You can find them by a YouTube search.
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

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Messages
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I have also been where you are at, but please don't act on the impulse. Things can change for the better very quickly and have in my life. You want to be around when it does.

There is no shame in seeking help if you are at your wits end, contact one of the suicide prevention outlets that were noted by NWiddi or you can have yourself hospitalized. You have to recognize you are valuable in the grand scheme of things and act accordingly. Your words in this forum have already made a difference for several of us, that is valuable. Take care.
That's what scares me--that I might act impulsively to attempt suicide.
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

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That's what scares me--that I might act impulsively to attempt suicide.
It is a big concern. That's why we need to try and act rationally when we are really feeling down. Give yourself a few days to let your mood normalize, or seek help if you're really at wits end. Probably a great many suicides could have been prevented if someone just reached out for help to those around them-friends, therapists or family-and shared their despair. How many lives could have been saved from the Ultimate Mistake if only for a little intervention like that?
 
K

Krozzy

Member
Joined
Mar 22, 2021
Messages
15
Location
Nottingham
Some how, I’m still alive. Yesterday was a bad day but a friend popped by to see me so I couldn’t leave the house. I self harmed but didn’t get to leave the house to end my life. I understand why people say to distract yourself as it delays suicide but the thoughts never leave you. I think they think it’s the answer to all your problems but do people think the thoughts might disappear if I paint a wall, for example. Maybe it does for me I just end plotting my next time to do it
 
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