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Suicide, thoughts and help

  • Thread starter Hiding away in the woods
  • Start date
H

Hiding away in the woods

New member
Joined
Apr 30, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Leicester
Hello. I'm new here. I don't know where to start. Recently I've been really struggling, with life, thoughts and existence
Probably sounds familiar and what everyone says
I say recently, I've struggled since I was around 14 or 15. Self harm helped, I got over it on my own in a sense. Its was always there though, like a craving. It never really goes but like a volcano on the end it lies dormant until one day it's ready to errupt

I'm now 33 and within the very last few years I've really struggled. But nothing like this.
I have a family, one daughter who is my world and a daughter who has ebd adhd and asd it's a very tough time at home
In the very last few months I've felt very, very down, I think most may really understand how this feels
suicide is and has been on my mind almost all of the time which I've become used to, I don't know of that is normal, or what normal is to an extent.
My girlfriend knows little about my mental health, I've been to a doctor but feel judged I've tried happy pills. None of which help. I've be judged by people and people cast judge upon my life.
I don't want to seem to be weak or have people look down at me as weak which is why my girlfriend of nearly 9 years still doesn't know everything or why I don't go to my doctors
I don't know how to get passed this stage of life at the moment. I feel useless, I feel I haven't unaccomplished I worthless and I feel really depressed, like never before. I have a massive anger problem, maybe because of how I feel.
Suicide is on my mind more than usual. I don't think I would ever go threw with it but I keep weighing up everything and the thoughts and ideas get worse each time
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
8,737
Location
Nashua NH
Welcome to the forums! I’m sorry that you are going through a rough time right now. I think many people here can relate to how you are feeling. It doesn’t make you weak to have these feelings. This is your makeup that might make you different and sometimes make things hard. I hope you find some good support here to get you through this tough time. It’s a great forum and there are many nice people around.
 
H

Hiding away in the woods

New member
Joined
Apr 30, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Leicester
I hope so. Because I don't want to feel like this anymore.... I'm really scared
 
H

Hiding away in the woods

New member
Joined
Apr 30, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Leicester
I really appreciate your message, thank you.
I just wish I had support from home
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
8,737
Location
Nashua NH
I hope so. Because I don't want to feel like this anymore.... I'm really scared
It’s all scary. The feeling is scary, feeling not in control in that way is scary, the desire to act is scary and so is keeping everything a secret. How can we best help you through this?
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
936
Hello. I'm new here. I don't know where to start. Recently I've been really struggling, with life, thoughts and existence
Probably sounds familiar and what everyone says
I say recently, I've struggled since I was around 14 or 15. Self harm helped, I got over it on my own in a sense. Its was always there though, like a craving. It never really goes but like a volcano on the end it lies dormant until one day it's ready to errupt

I'm now 33 and within the very last few years I've really struggled. But nothing like this.
I have a family, one daughter who is my world and a daughter who has ebd adhd and asd it's a very tough time at home
In the very last few months I've felt very, very down, I think most may really understand how this feels
suicide is and has been on my mind almost all of the time which I've become used to, I don't know of that is normal, or what normal is to an extent.
My girlfriend knows little about my mental health, I've been to a doctor but feel judged I've tried happy pills. None of which help. I've be judged by people and people cast judge upon my life.
I don't want to seem to be weak or have people look down at me as weak which is why my girlfriend of nearly 9 years still doesn't know everything or why I don't go to my doctors
I don't know how to get passed this stage of life at the moment. I feel useless, I feel I haven't unaccomplished I worthless and I feel really depressed, like never before. I have a massive anger problem, maybe because of how I feel.
Suicide is on my mind more than usual. I don't think I would ever go threw with it but I keep weighing up everything and the thoughts and ideas get worse each time
have you ever tried St Johns Wort, its a herbal remedy for depression....it helped me
 
L

Lukcy2019

Well-known member
Joined
May 2, 2019
Messages
59
Location
UK
Hello. I'm new here. I don't know where to start. Recently I've been really struggling, with life, thoughts and existence
Probably sounds familiar and what everyone says
I say recently, I've struggled since I was around 14 or 15. Self harm helped, I got over it on my own in a sense. Its was always there though, like a craving. It never really goes but like a volcano on the end it lies dormant until one day it's ready to errupt

I'm now 33 and within the very last few years I've really struggled. But nothing like this.
I have a family, one daughter who is my world and a daughter who has ebd adhd and asd it's a very tough time at home
In the very last few months I've felt very, very down, I think most may really understand how this feels
suicide is and has been on my mind almost all of the time which I've become used to, I don't know of that is normal, or what normal is to an extent.
My girlfriend knows little about my mental health, I've been to a doctor but feel judged I've tried happy pills. None of which help. I've be judged by people and people cast judge upon my life.
I don't want to seem to be weak or have people look down at me as weak which is why my girlfriend of nearly 9 years still doesn't know everything or why I don't go to my doctors
I don't know how to get passed this stage of life at the moment. I feel useless, I feel I haven't unaccomplished I worthless and I feel really depressed, like never before. I have a massive anger problem, maybe because of how I feel.
Suicide is on my mind more than usual. I don't think I would ever go threw with it but I keep weighing up everything and the thoughts and ideas get worse each time
Hi
Sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time! I'm older than you and believe me or not, I've been suffering from day 1. But wait, what is going to happen to your children after you commit suicide???!!! have you ever thought about that? do you think they going to forgive you? before I do anything I think about my little son first. For example, I drink once or twice a week and I'm trying to reduce it to once a month. Do you know why? First is not healthy, second I don't want my son when he is 2o years old comes and visits me in CCU. I give you another example. Let's say you are driving on a tough road with your family. And you start taking over without looking and driving carelessly. Is it just you in the car or you have 3 other people? What if something happens to them? So, please before you take any decision, think about your lovely family first. Life has so many ups and downs. I assure you that there is no one on this planet without a problem. I believe that life has been designed to test tough people. And we (human) are solid, strong, full of energy .....
My son is nearly 4 but I already started thinking about his uni and his marriage ..... And this makes me happy and stops negative thoughts.
So back to my example, please when you are driving try to ease off the gas and think about your family.
hope this helps and best of luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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