Suicide Story

[Micky]

Hi All;

Well a couple days ago in the morning I took a overdose.

I took one after another.... Once doing it I felt like I was going to faint or throw everything up....not long after I took them mum came rushing in my room wondering where I was and she called a ambulance straight away. I was rushed into the high dependency ward and stayed there over night.

IT WAS HORRIBLE! ALL I REMEMBER WAS LIGHTS FLASHING IN MY FACE AND BEING ASKED THE SAME QUESTIONS OVER AND OVER AGAIN... I HAD TO USE A CATHEDA FOR MY URINE TO PASS AS IT WOULDN'T PASS ALONE... MY TONGUE TURNED INTO A VEGETABLE AND I COULDN'T TALK OR EAT FOR 3 DAYS AFTER TAKING MY OVERDOSE

I WAS CRITICAL ALL NIGHT.... MY FAMILY WENT CRAZY WONDERING IF I WOULD SURVIVE IT.

And here I am today still alive... it was the worst experience I have ever had and would never take a overdose like i did ever again.. it taught me a lesson thats for sure...

Anyone else got stories on suicide attempts??

 

[mad as a hatter]

yep taking an overdose not that great i,ve took loads but taking tablets last yr was the worst experince cause it doesn,t mix 2 well with my other meds it made me feel extremely ill i 2 thought i was going faint on the spot the room spun for 8 hrs pretty scary problem is i have took other overdoses since just took a bit less tablets it doesn,t seem 2 have stopped me taking the tablets cause i,ve got the thoughts 24/7 mind u it,s has been 6 months since took ne tho

 

[Enpi]

About a month ago I had an overdose. I have only vague memories from the first 24 hours after doing it. My dad found me and I was taken to the hospital immediately. They made me throw up and as you can tell I survived.

Last Tuesday I self harmed. It was a small wound but it was quite deep and bled like hell. But then my mum called me for dinner and I felt guilty all of a sudden and thought about how much pain I'll cause my family and again I was taken to the hospital.

I'm much better now. It's like waking up from a nightmare.

 

[thing fish]

yup. been there.

last year i self harmed on my wrist. i didn't go deep enough to kill myself obviously but it was deep. had to go to the hospital and stay on the ward for a few days.

before that when my wife told me she was leaving me i took a shitload of ...all that did was make me throw up something terrible. i thought it would do it for sure.

 

[*Sapphire*]

Moderator note

Hi

Just a note on this thread in my role as a moderator. Although we encourage members to discuss their mental health issues we can not allow particulars of suicide attempts to be displayed on the forum.

If you have taken an overdose it is okay to say overdose but not to name the particlar medication you have used. If we can all bare that in mind whilst posting on this thread.

Best regards
Sapphire

 

[jax]

I prefer not to think of those days.

 

[Twylight]

Yeah, me too
I took loads of tablets- to cut a long story short i ended up in a Police call - so that i couldn't take any more
The coppers were good though i had a cup of tea every time i rang the buzzer

 

[antipsionic]

Yeah I've taken some large overdoses before, one, after a major episode of paranoid psychosis, was so bad that it actually stopped my heart and it had to be shocked back into action I ended up in intensive care with on a ventilator and a tube going where no tube should ever go.

Becauses of the nature of what I'd taken I couldn't talk straight either, I knew what I was trying to say but the words that came out were just complete nonsense.

I feel sucicdal sometimes because I feel as though my illness has robbed of everything I ever dreamed of doing with my life, but I don't act on it any more theres still fun to be had out of life no matter what and lessons to be learned from what life is trying to teach you.

 

[*Sapphire*]

I think I have attempted suicide over 20 probably over 30 times however some of those times I have not remembered and been told by others because of the excess of medication the doctors prescribed me (the medication must have worked really well since I attempted suicide on it hey? ).

I have tried most known methods and I still suffer with the effects like not being able to take certain tablets that I took in excess as a suicide bid. It's weird afterwards some of those tablets make me physically sick, even the thought and smell of them. Perhaps it is my bodies way of rejecting what is not good for me. My doctors didn't believe me until I was vomiting for hours after taking one in hospital.

Now I have nightmares about those suicide attempts and recalling them in my memory can reduce me to tears immediately.

I think the brain is a really powerful organ and is wired for survival. I believe my being sick when taking those tablets and my nightmares about my attempts is my brains way of telling me not to do it again, and deterring me from it.

However that aside. I lost alot of my friends and trust from people around me when I attempted suicide. I think people try to protect themselves from pain, and if someone attempts suicide it can bring on intense feelings of hurt, frustration and fear which they want to avoid.

I learned this when a couple of friends of mine attempted suicide and told me first begging me not to tell anyone. It was a horrible situation to be in, and I was so frightened, hurt, frustrated and confused as to what to do.

At one of those times I dealt with the situation and immediately afterwards I had to model for a portraiture sitting. All of those paintings of me reflected a really hollow and pained look in my face that I hadn't seen before. All of the artists commented on it. Considering it took me so long to get out of depression when my friend did that I saw it as a threat to my recovery and I had to have some space afterwards to protect myself. I still loved her dearly but I also had to protect my feelings.

I'm glad you don't want to do it again. I hope things start to improve for you.

 

[Micky]

Over Dose

Thanks for the replies.

And I'm glad I don't want to over dose again too...

For sure had the worst experience ever... makes me upset and sick to think about that I did.