• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Suicide became a option



New member
Sep 5, 2018
Ok, I know it sounds very dramatic and at the start I want to assure you that I'm not gonna do anything to myself.

Now that we've got it out of the way we can start on that main topic. So I've had some issues since I was a kid really and I has been getting worse for over 10 years now. And at one point I realised, really realised, that suicide is an option. It's not like I want to kill myself and I plan something or anything like that. It's just one day I looked at my list of choices, at every possibility that I have and saw there/realised that I can put there suicide. Like, it's always been a thing that existed, but in that moment it became a real option that, in a way, exists in my life now.

And I, like, can think of ways I could choose to do it, but still don't plan to? Like, if I had chosen to study physics I'd have been an astrophysicist. I didn't, but IF I chose it, this would be it. And the same with this one, I don't have a plan, but I do know which options are something natural in a way, something I'd be ok with and which ones are out of question.

I don't really know what I want. I guess I'm lost and don't know what I'm doing so I wanted for someone who maybe is going through the same thing to see it. And I kinda want to know what's the next stage, because I want to be prepared? If I even can prepare for it in any way?

(now that I've written it down it looks worse than I thought it is in a way)


Oct 18, 2018
What I can tell you is that suicide has always been and forever will be an option. It's not going to disappear anywhere, but the right question to ask is - is it worth it?

A quote from Game of Thrones "Death is so final, while life is full of opportunities."

And to all the what if's - let them go. It doesn't matter what you'd have been whether you'd chose to do this or that. The past is the past. There is no past and no future, only the moment right now. Why bother yourself with what you could've been and not with what you CAN BE? Work toward being the best version of yourself.

And you can never be prepared for what's about to come because nobody knows what's about to come, but you have to always look for a silver lining. Yes, I know, I'm a foolish optimist but being an optimist has worked for me. I let the life guide me wherever I need to go and when I, personally, look back at all the things that had led me to the place I am right now, it all starts to make sense.

Don't think of it like being lost - think of it like being open for opportunities. :)


Oct 19, 2018
I remember when those thoughts first crossed my mind. For me there was a day when I suddenly thought that I didn't want to live anymore. It was scary.
I had recently become so mentally ill that I had to stop working. My boss is behaved as though I had let them down and chosen to leave on purpose. I felt such deep shame and deep sense of failure that I spiraled down even further.

That time passed. I have two kids that need me and a wonderful husband. And I held onto those thoughts. I never made a plan. It was never an option for me. But actually wanting to die was terrifying.

I eventually came out of that place, I don't exactly know how. But I'm sure it had something to do with the support and love I received from friends and family.

I would still get moments when I felt that low. But I don't anymore. I still have sometimes even days in a row where I can barely function. But now I just want to feel better.


Oct 20, 2018
Have you spoke to your doctor about this? Suicide was and is a very real thing for me, it took my last and worse attempt to go to the doctors and be given some additional medication and it doesn't stop the thoughts but it stops the ability to be able to carry through with them. Discussing it with professionals is essential and they will then encourage or do so themselves if you allow to and speak to whoever you live with to let them know your vulnerabilities and create a safety plan. I'm not allowed access to my car after dark and I'm not allowed to have access to or dispense my own medication.
For me, suicide is always on my brain but when I get so desperate, it's impulsive because it has scared me at how a couple of seconds could have completely changed the outcome. I have made 4/5 attempts in the last couple of weeks and only stopped because of something coincidentally happening that has stopped me. But that is the reassuring part, the fact that clearly I don't completely want it to be over because I have stopped. That's the scary thing with it is the impulsivity, those 4/5 times if certain events didn't happen, I would have been dead. Speak to your doctor and speak to someone who can help keep you safe because those thoughts are so overpowering and false but so believable.
Please stay safe 💖
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
kuroro abt suicide and life in general Depression Forum 7
Z Considering suicide Depression Forum 6
C How to reach out to others about depression after a roommate tried to commit suicide? Depression Forum 3
FallingLeaves Family feelings on suicide Depression Forum 11
T Suicide attempt = depressed? Depression Forum 2
K Suicide thoughts Depression Forum 4
N Crisis tw: suicide, drugs Depression Forum 3
letmein TRIGGER --------------------------- suicide by food Depression Forum 6
M 11 years of depression improperly treated by incompetents. 3 suicide attempts. PLEASE HELP!!! Depression Forum 8
K Suicide TRIGGER WARNING Depression Forum 9
U Have you ever called a suicide helpline? How did it go? Depression Forum 8
S I enjoy thinking about suicide Depression Forum 7
apple2003 idk what to label this as but tw for suicide and self harm Depression Forum 5
L Suicide Depression Forum 6
Tawny SUICIDE - SAMARITANS - Eastenders Depression Forum 6
M Suicide is not a selfish, easy way out act! Depression Forum 3
P Rational suicide Depression Forum 4
M Suicide due to past mistake/regret Depression Forum 1
K How to help someone who has tried to commit suicide (two times) Depression Forum 6
B I really can't take it anymore trigger warning suicide. Depression Forum 28
R Serious considerations about suicide Depression Forum 21
R Obsessive thinking of people who have died by suicide Depression Forum 11
S World suicide prevention day Depression Forum 3
C Overwhelming feelings of loneliness and depression, considering suicide Depression Forum 10
D Depressed because of social anxiety, thinking about suicide to escape the feelings Depression Forum 8
S Encouragement To The Ones Dealing With Depression and Thoughts Of Suicide Depression Forum 10
G 7 months on from my attempted suicide. I’m afraid employers won’t hire me again. Depression Forum 23
H Suicide, thoughts and help Depression Forum 8
T Thinking about suicide Depression Forum 3
S Is suicide ever the answer? Depression Forum 6
N College found out I want to commit suicide Depression Forum 5
A but why is suicide so wrong Depression Forum 29
X Feeling sexually repressed and like I want to commit suicide. Depression Forum 1
K Getting threatened with suicide attempt by ex-girlfriend , post trauma. Depression Forum 3
C Petrified my boyfriend will commit suicide Depression Forum 6
Emmy Everyday, I consider suicide Depression Forum 7
T Suicide will give me the freedom I need! Depression Forum 18
I I Drove Someone To Suicide/Extreme Guilt Of A Murderer Depression Forum 25
B Is suicide always have concrete reason? Depression Forum 9
R Came close to suicide, what next? Depression Forum 5
wolram Is it a sin to commit suicide Depression Forum 27
Fairy Lucretia life lies a slow suicide Depression Forum 1
ghost_girl80 suicide prevention chat line Depression Forum 9
S Need some advice on dealing with grief by suicide Depression Forum 11
G Can Passive Suicidal thoughts result in Actual Suicide? Depression Forum 9
E One year since suicide attempt and life worse than ever Depression Forum 12
soulsearcher you ever known anyone personally who has committed suicide? Depression Forum 21
S Suicide is near Depression Forum 6
InfiniteRectangles Rambling About Depression and Suicide Depression Forum 1
valleygirl Why should I not give in to suicide? Depression Forum 32

Similar threads