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suicidal

M

mad as a hatter

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Jul 23, 2008
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scotland
i don,t know what 2 write i,m on the verge off suicide i,ve totally crashed can,t c ne way out this hell i,m in this illness has finally won i,m so low i can,t go on ne more what despair i feel it hurts so much mh services don,t care ne more i c my pdoc this wk but i don,t think i can hang on till friday till i c her i want out this world i feel like doin a runner i,m just a burden 2 my family they can do without the grief i give them i don,t feel like i belong with them ne more they,d be happier without me given them worry better off without me
 
J

jamesdean

Guest
i don,t know what 2 write i,m on the verge off suicide i,ve totally crashed can,t c ne way out this hell i,m in this illness has finally won i,m so low i can,t go on ne more what despair i feel it hurts so much mh services don,t care ne more i c my pdoc this wk but i don,t think i can hang on till friday till i c her i want out this world i feel like doin a runner i,m just a burden 2 my family they can do without the grief i give them i don,t feel like i belong with them ne more they,d be happier without me given them worry better off without me

hi mad has a hatter, I really feel for you I have been here so many times, I hope that you have got through this period because we care on this forum if it helps you post at any timeday or night sorry I'm able to do more for you pm if it helps JD
 
KP1

KP1

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Apr 4, 2008
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1,500
Sorry Mad as a Hatter that things are so bad. I hope they improve very soon for you. Take care,thinking of you.
KP
 
P

[email protected]

New member
Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Messages
1
hi mad,

Hold on in there cos this too will pass. You are not alone, thats depression for you you could still feel alone in a crowded room full of people who care. Your family would not help you if they didnt want to and if they didnt love you. Of course you belong in this world you have as much right to be here as the queen, or a little spider, or any other living being.

What makes you think they would be better off without you? Because i dont see how they would be better off, losing a family member in a tragic way, then they would quite possibly feel years of grief, and guilt as well. Dont you think they would rather have you alive and with them? As for leaning on them well everyone leans on people from time to time we are all human. And people who help, do it because they want to.

Im sorry if you feel ive nagged ya a bit LOL but i mean well :)

Take care

Charlie
 
Lozzi_1004

Lozzi_1004

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Joined
Jun 28, 2008
Messages
1,850
Location
Yorkshire, UK
MaaH NO PLEASE!
You know your family cares for you - your brother sent someone for you the last time you tried and he wouldn't have done that if he didn't care!! If he didn't care he'd have let you. You're not a burden, you're really ill! Try and hang on until you can see your pdoc and she can arrange some help or even ask to see her sooner you need it and I know you like her! Maybe she can get you in to a nicer hospital that will actually take care of you.

Please try and hang in there and pm me if you need to :hug::hug::hug:
xx
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

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Hi Maah,

I'm with Lozzi all the way on this one, ring someone up and just talk to them or keep posting on the forum. I do both of these things when I'm at the end of being able to cope and each does help in a strange and mysterious way. Ring your pdoc and ask for an earlier appointment or for advice on what you could do. Plesase remember though that you are not alone in all of this (you've got us here as well as your family) and remember also that this time will pass.

Take care,
Honey, xxx
 
T

trainwreck

Guest
mad

ok this is the bottom line ive been where you are ok.you kill yourself, you kill your family. i said to my kids sorry when i overdosed, my wife said crying what about me you bastard,
 
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E

Echo

Member
Joined
Nov 22, 2008
Messages
11
Location
Yorkshire
I really feel for you, but you have to hang on. You feel desperate now, but it will pass. If you kill yourself, your family will never recover from it. They might never be truly happy again. Do not give up. We're all thinking of you x
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

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I know it wasn't aimed at me but thankyou Echo and Trainwreck for what you said - powerful words that help me as I'm bouncing around the edges of sui at the moment. When you're right there it's easy to forget the effects that your actions can have on your family.
 
M

mad as a hatter

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Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Messages
2,167
Location
scotland
thanks for ur kind words i spoke 2 some 1 2 day at the day centre i go 2 and i,m goin in 2 morrow and just tk it 1 day at a time till i c my pdoc on friday as it,s a long way off when ur feelin so bad as i am i told my family how i,m feelin 2 they r so good but i feel so guilty i let them down they don,t need my illness ruinin there lives 2 i don,t wanna end up in hospital again either so i,m tryin resist the suicidal thoughts i,ve got it,s so hard tho i,m hopein this just a few bad days and i,ll pick up again not sure it works like that tho i,ll keep postin tho
 
darren

darren

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Jul 17, 2008
Messages
49
Location
uk
things will get better ,get well soon,try to look forward to christmas with your caring family ,and i wish every one to get well for christmas..
merry christmas every one love darren:)
 
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intelgal

intelgal

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Aww thats really cheered me up Darren... Hope things get a bit brighter for you MaAh .... your always truely valued on this earth even when you least feel it... xxxx Intel xxxxx
 
Lozzi_1004

Lozzi_1004

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Jun 28, 2008
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Location
Yorkshire, UK
I'm so glad you told someone MaaH :hug::hug: don't feel guilty at all... Silly Madam told me bipolar is one ba*tard of an illness but you're family will be glad you told them because they know how you're feeling. I know friday seems like ages, that's when I'm seeing J & my pdoc too, but hang in there - take it one day at a time. You can get the support you need now :hug::hug:
Stay safe
xxxx :flowers:
 
jax

jax

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Nov 23, 2008
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Location
Belfast, N.Ireland
I am glad you spoke to someone. Indeed it seems like a life time away when you need to speak to the Pdoc when you are feeling awful. I hope the Pdoc can help you. Take care. x
 
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