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Suicidal thoughts .. help me please .

  • Thread starter Strongfortolong
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Strongfortolong

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it's been a while since I've posted and apparently so much has changed yet so little has changed at the same time . Impossible right ? Nope apparently not .

So my separation anxiety got to us both and I've been single for long over a year now . It's just me and my crap thoughts . The truth is i self harm occasionally . I take flucloxacillin 20mg three times daily , Amatriptaline 50mg at night . I have diagnosed fibromyalgia and my pain kills me every day.but the worst part is the anxiety and depression. I walk round in a bubble a scary bubble and all I want is to die . I do think I'll ever have the ability to end my life I'm not brave enough to try Incase it fails but I can't stop thinking about it .

I manage to hold down my job but it's stressful, I hate it often . I get so lonely I have two close friends but they have their own life, I'm so alone . Noone understands how I feel how hard it is to walk around wishing I was dead . I don't feel anything some times and then I feel Everything and my pain is agonizing. I don't want to be so lonely and I don't know how to get through this .

Please talk to me please . I need a friend I need someone to talk to even if it's just alone I want someone who understands cause I can't cope anymore I'm desperate I really am. Im so unhappy and alone.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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I'm here for a bit, how can i help? :hug:

suicidial thoughts are not fun i remember from when i was suicidial :hug:
 
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Strongfortolong

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I don't know what will help I'm sorry. I guess I hoped I can find someone to talk to who understands. I want to know how to make this stop I need some company an online friend or something. I want to just end it all I can't live like this nothing makes me happy anymore xx
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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keep posting here, i'm listening and others will be along shortly to listen as well :hug:
 
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Strongfortolong

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I shouldn't feel like this I don't have a bad life but it consumes me . I feel so alone and I just want to die . My fear is it won't work and I have to answer questions about why. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up . I'm so alone and so miserable. But I think I deserve this x
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Hi,
I have chronic pain from inflammatory arthritis and fibromyalgia, I know what it is like.
Please do get some help from your GP if your feeling suicidal, you can ring 111 if you live in the U.K. To.
Pain goes hand in hand with depression and anxiety.
Tell your dr how bad your feeling, there are other drugs and therapy.
Take care
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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you do not deserve to feel like that :hug:

apart from medication, are you getting any other help? :hug:
 
Mayflower7

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I shouldn't feel like this I don't have a bad life but it consumes me . I feel so alone and I just want to die . My fear is it won't work and I have to answer questions about why. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up . I'm so alone and so miserable. But I think I deserve this x

You do not deserve this at all.
Please get help urgently, you can go to A/E or phone 999 if in the UK.
 
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Worriedyin

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I shouldn't feel like this I don't have a bad life but it consumes me . I feel so alone and I just want to die . My fear is it won't work and I have to answer questions about why. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up . I'm so alone and so miserable. But I think I deserve this x
No one deserves to feel like you do. It's awful feeling suicidal and it's horrible you're going through this. Remember that you're suffering with an illness and things can and will get better. It's such a struggle when you feel alone but remember you are loved and that this feeling is just temporary. Is there music you can listen to that will help you feel better? Or dare I say it call the samaritans of your local mental health team crisis number and get some additional support? I know they don't seem like tempting options but it's important that you get some support and posting here seems like you're looking for a good method of coping.
 
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Strongfortolong

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So I feel like a terrible person I live at home with my family who have Gave me the world but they have never understood mental health. They sweep everything under the carpet.. if you can't see it it isn't broken right . I just don't think this life is for me . I don't want to walk round feeling like this and wanting to die I thought the pills would help but they haven't . Why do I want to die ? I can't even tell you why but I can tell you I'm.obsessed with the thought of dying. It seems better than being alive right now . I feel empty broken Xxx
 
W

Worriedyin

Former member
So I feel like a terrible person I live at home with my family who have Gave me the world but they have never understood mental health. They sweep everything under the carpet.. if you can't see it it isn't broken right . I just don't think this life is for me . I don't want to walk round feeling like this and wanting to die I thought the pills would help but they haven't . Why do I want to die ? I can't even tell you why but I can tell you I'm.obsessed with the thought of dying. It seems better than being alive right now . I feel empty broken Xxx
I think I tried four antidepressants in total and all of them had their pluses and minuses so if your current medication isn't working there's always another option. It's not the only thing that helps, either - exercise and therapeutic activities can be really helpful for example if they appeal to you.

It's really hard for people who love you to see you struggle, I am sure your family are doing their best for you and it can be helpful to acknowledge that and appreciate what they can give you even if they can't provide the answers you need right now as to why you're feeling so low.

Can you get to an A&E or call the NHS out of hours service? You don't have to feel like this, there is help available to get you through.
 
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Strongfortolong

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I dont want to go anywhere at the moment I really don't think I'm going to do anything but it's definitely drowning my thoughts . I'm so down and so lonely. I had being so alone.
I feel like I'm not a person. I don't feel whole I can't explain it but it's like I'm going through the motions but not experiencing anything. I feel empty . I want this all to stop
 
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