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Suicidal thoughts and panic

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Antigoni

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Hello to everyone! I'm writing here because I feel the urgency to talk about my suicidal thoughts and can't discuss it with family and friends, as that would be really upsetting for them. However, I've been struggling with these thoughts for a really long time and this has made me almost dysfunctional. I get panic attacks at work, thinking that I'm gonna kill myself one day because I will be left with no other choices. The thing is that I don't love myself, I only live because I have to. Because I don't have the right to inflict so much pain on my family. When I realise that suicide is not an option, then I get really depressed, as I think that I will never escape from the pain. I don't have the strength to get another job or socialise with people. I can't do many simple things, can't consentrate on anything. The worst is that it feels permanent and I feel ashamed of me.
Thank you for your time reading this
 
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A

Antigoni

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Thank you, but it really feels like I am
 
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Antigoni

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How can someone overcome this? I always think that I deserve what I'm goong through and there's no way back to normality. And thenI think that I don't deserve the people around me because they're full of life and I'm dead inside. And I just can't keep up with them.
 
Mrs Tiggywinkle

Mrs Tiggywinkle

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It may be a chemical/hormonal imbalance....I’ve felt like you a lot. Are you on meds, if not have you tried the natural way with magnesium....it helps me to sleep etc
 
Mrs Tiggywinkle

Mrs Tiggywinkle

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Recently I’ve been reading how our guts microbiome can really affect our brain and emotions....it’s real, believe me.
 
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Antigoni

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I was in meds for like a year or more. Then I started to forget taking them, so I stopped them. Now people say that I need to go to a psychiatrist but I'm too afraid to do this, because if this fails again, then I will be left with no choices ad kill myself
 
Mrs Tiggywinkle

Mrs Tiggywinkle

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Meds can help, but not good long term in my opinion, you have one chance on this world and this is what you’ve been given, like what I’ve been given, you have to fight and I’m sure there’s a reason and we will be rewarded for our suffering. At least we are feeling individuals and not like the unfeeling mindless people who dutifully just accept everything.
 
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Antigoni

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Thank you for this. I really need to find a motive and keep on trying. It's not that I'm not trying actually. I just lose all my motives on the way and go back to nowhere. I constantly need reminders, I try hard to find them. If you want to talk more about your situation, I'd like to hear you
 
Mrs Tiggywinkle

Mrs Tiggywinkle

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I’m not feeling good myself, I hope I’m not making you worse, but sometimes I think to myself that there is some purpose and that it makes us deep thinkers and that we are not run of the mill if you know what I mean.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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I will be left with no choices ad kill myself
Please don't think like this, there's always help, you just need to know where to find it.

For Greece I found this website...
I believe it's a suicide prevention service.

Please talk to someone, a friend, family or on this 1018 number and keep talking to us.
 
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Antigoni

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I think I do, but unfortunately I never believed there is a purpose or a meaning in life. Maybe this thought brought me to this point, I don't know.
 
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Antigoni

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Please don't think like this, there's always help, you just need to know where to find it.

For Greece I found this website...
I believe it's a suicide prevention service.

Please talk to someone, a friend, family or on this 1018 number and keep talking to us.
Thank you for this link, but I'm too afraid to talk to a real person on the end of the line about my thoughts. I know I'm too weak to attempt it and I'm afraid of the pain and agony. It's the thoughts that I struggle with, the fear and not the possibility.
 
Mrs Tiggywinkle

Mrs Tiggywinkle

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I don’t believe we are an accident....I believe we were created I really do and it’s been very difficult and I’m going through a trying time myself. You have to believe in yourself, you are very powerful and are a person with strong feelings and emotional intelligence. I’m sure we are here for a purpose and need to find what our true purpose is that’s all. It would be such a waste if you ended your life, you have so much to offer...you just don’t realise it.
 
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