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Suicidal thoughts and feelings please help

?

>.<

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Joined
Mar 3, 2010
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113
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UK
I'm having a really bad episode this morning and I feel almost completely suicidal. The only reason I haven't is because after my last attempt, people made me promise I wouldn't. I just can't deal with this anymore :( No ones helping me, my psych doesnt always take me seriously, therapy does nothing. I've been horrible to my friends and all the people I care about because of how I feel and now most of them are ignoring me :( I feel alone and that no one cares...I just want to die :/ I can't bring myself to do it though...

How can I stop feeling like this?

Thanks
 
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

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Jul 15, 2009
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Location
Kent
I know just how you feel, I'm having a really down day today and I've been thinking I'd be better off gone, but the thought of my family has stopped me ever going beyond the thinking stage. I have to believe that things are going to get better, though I can't see it right now. I have a horrible pdoc and the MH services are crap. I too feel very alone and feel I have no friends.

Remember though that we all have each other on here, it's a great place to vent your feelings. Just hang in there and keep talking if it helps. :flowers:
 
?

>.<

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Messages
113
Location
UK
Urgh the MH services are useless. I've been seeing a psych since I was 12, nothing has been done. I've made 6 suicide attempts, former self harmer, and its only just been formally established that I "might be suffering from severe depression". Well gee, I'd never have guessed -.-

My docs are nice but the services are so slow and it never seems to help me :/ Any tips on how to cope?

Thanks
 
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

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No tips really, I'm afraid, I struggle to cope myself. I have severe depression which is now not responding to meds, so they keep changing them. Not been on the same dose of things for more than a week lately, it's really hard to remember what to take when! I've had to wait 4 months already & there's no sign of any talking therapy, my appointments with the pdoc and MH worker get changed with very little notice (usually on the day!) so I get myself worked up ready for the appt then it doesn't happen and I have to wait another 2 or 3 weeks to see someone.

You say you've been seeing a psych since you were 12, can I ask how old you are now? I know they don't like giving a formal diagnosis under about 16-18.
 
?

>.<

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Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Messages
113
Location
UK
That must be really hard :(

And I'm 15, 16 in 3 months. I was originally told I had Bipolar disorder after I ended up in hospital when I cut myself pretty badly. But that was by the hospital psych, my community psych doesn't agree, at first she said there was nothing wrong and I was just going through a hard time, but now she's thinking I might have depression.
 
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

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Location
Kent
Oh bless you, I hate to hear of someone so young suffering like that. It's hard enough at any age but so much worse when you have to deal with all the normal teenage stuff as well. Like I said, I'm guessing that your age is probably the reason you haven't got a proper diagnosis yet.
 
?

>.<

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Mar 3, 2010
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Location
UK
Yeah, the hospital psych said that if I was over 18 he'dve diagnosed Histrionic Personality Disorder as well :unsure: but he couldn't due to my age. It's so difficult, I missed almost all of last year due to depression and hospitalisation, so I've had to do my GCSEs in one year :eek: And my schools now being nasty about giving me extensions, despite letters from my psychiatrist and tlks from my psychologists because "its too expensive" apparently :(
 
BSloan1960

BSloan1960

Member
Joined
Feb 28, 2010
Messages
13
Do your best to get through one day at a time- or one hour at a time.

When the mind is suffering- and frequently the body is feeling bad too, its helpful to pick one of your senses; sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch and treat that sense to something pleasurable. Example: for your sense of touch- consider drawing a nice hot bath and soaking for a while. Each time you think, "wow, this feels good" actually say it out loud to your self.

Hearing: have a tape/cd of something that moves you (not brings you down)? Remove all distractions and listen to the music and focus on the sensations it brings to you.

If you are not a reader- force yourself to pick a book and read it. NOT a self-help book but a mystery or thriller. I have discovered in the past year- after not reading a book for 30 years, that reading is wonderful. It takes you away from your body and mind and makes the time pass really quickly. It also gives you something to think about while you are falling asleep and makes you excited about picking up the book again to continue.

If the mental health professionals you are currently working with are not helping you- try to find different ones... but don't quit your current therapies until you establish new ones.

Be/Stay determined to not give up until you find the help that is right for you. If you have tried 10 different things and none have worked- remind yourself that there are 50 more things out there to try- and tell yourself that you are on a worthwhile quest to keep going forward.

If you get to the point that you can't cope or you feel like harming yourself consider a stay in the hospital for a while. You'll get daily attention and medication evaluation. This is 2010 being on meds or a stay in the hospital don't carry the stigma they used to. I have about 50 co-workers. About 20 are on meds of some sort... and including me, 4 (and perhaps more) have been in the hospital.

Hope this helps.

Bill
 
D

DesertMermaid

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Joined
Mar 5, 2010
Messages
1
Suboxone

I started taking Suboxone for severe depression. I was getting no help and said fuck this, I have to try everything because I want to die, and i know i don't deserve to live like this.

SUboxone is an opiate, it is for people who have been heroin addicts and some people swear by the anti depressant elements. It has helped me a great deal. It takes me from the place where I can't cope. If i take more than I am used to it is very good but I am afraid to be on a large dose. I wish they would do more research about making opiates safe for use. You can't tell me they can't its just that they don't take mental health patients seriously and we let them get away with such a crappy system. If you can handle it, and you realize that you are sick and may need something drastic I would reccommend getting on suboxone. I tell them I was taking opiates, they don't even really ask. We aren't meant to suffer.

if you do try suboxone, start very small. so small and try to work up very very slowly. see what it does.
 
DrLecter

DrLecter

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Mar 5, 2010
Messages
4
Location
Ayrshire, Scotland.
Someone to listen

This sounds really painful for you.

Have you ever told anyone how you're truly feeling? has anyone actually ever really listened to why you feel the way you do?

Feeling suicidal happens for a number of reasons; you haven't said why it is you want to end your life. You also haven't mentioned if you have thought about your reasons for wanting to continue to live.

I'm not sure where in the UK you are based, but I do know there are listening services around the UK, and it may be that you need someone to really be there for you. If you are happy to reveal your location, then I'm happy to check out what might be in your area and post you some links.

Do stay safe in the meantime and remain around supportive people for so long as you feel the way you do.

God Bless :grouphug:
 
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

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Joined
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Messages
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Location
Kent
If you are not a reader- force yourself to pick a book and read it. NOT a self-help book but a mystery or thriller. I have discovered in the past year- after not reading a book for 30 years, that reading is wonderful. It takes you away from your body and mind and makes the time pass really quickly.
I've not read a fiction book for over 30 years but for me, now is definitely not the time to start - my concentration is shot to pieces to the point I have trouble watching the TV, well if I want to take anything in that is.
 
M

Mr Ploppy

Guest
I've not read a fiction book for over 30 years but for me, now is definitely not the time to start - my concentration is shot to pieces to the point I have trouble watching the TV, well if I want to take anything in that is.
I now where you’re coming we’ll im there, been there for five years.

I sort of pissed off to bed with a mobile phone well about five years and well never got out bed.

It doesn’t exactly give me a meaningful life and I can’t exactly say it’s helped broaden my circle of friends.

But it’s a thought.
 
P

Pmc64

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Joined
Nov 21, 2018
Messages
2
Hi. I'm really glad that you have posted this. I had a similar episode earlier this year. What kept me going was thinking about the impact my suicide would have on others e.g. my husband. How would he react when he found me? What would he do? How would he face the neighbours when everyone would be feeling sorry for him? Would he be angry with me? Is that the way I want to be remembered? Depression like this is a bummer. Remember that you don't naturally feel like this - it's this damn illness that is making you feel this way. Don't let it win. Stay calm. Don't panic. Breathe deep. Close your eyes and try to calm your thoughts if they're racing. Most of all don't keep these thoughts to yourself. Talk about it to someone as you have on this forum. Reaching out is good. Take care.
 
S

Seany53

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 16, 2018
Messages
51
hi. i'm sean and there are a lot of wonderful suggestions people have given here

I know its hard

I understand it sucks

And when meds are not working well you gotta do something about it right?

My mind is the one thing that helps me see get through this world but when it gets sick, I dunno what to do.

There is a saying and please excuse me if it's cringy: Suicide doesn't really stop the pain. It just passes it onto someone else. So please don't act on it. You yourself said that 'this particular morning' you are feeling pretty suicidal. So we can hope tomorrow will be better right? Just gotta wait it out and also I'd try to do anything to take your mind off of it. Anything like reading a book maybe or whatever you feel like. It will be hard but we gotta do something right?

I'm trying to start lifting but it seems so difficult. I tried it once and it honestly felt like I was faking it but I'm trying, i really am. No one can help me if i can't help myself so please
 
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