Suicidal Thought

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elizabeth29550

Member
Joined
Mar 1, 2011
Messages
13
Location
East Yorkshire
#1
Did not know where to go and then stubbled across this website ...not sure if it will help or I am going mad.
I have been contemplating suicide. I am 34 mother of 2.
My dad was killed in France in a road accident while I was in the late stages of pregnancy with my secon baby. My little brother died 2 years ago falling from a bridge and drowning. Last year my mother had secondary cancer and although she is better her health is not great.
To top everything off I was 12 weeks ago accused of stealing at a place of work 4yrs ago from one of my clients a memory impaired lady whom i supported. I was asked to attend police interview which I did thinking that it would clear up the situation and it was awful. They were terrible and I nievly thought that they sort the truth ...! I have now been asked to be go back to be re-interviewed. i am terrified even though I have asked solicitor to attend. I just think I simply cannot carry on any more. I feel ill. I can't eat, keep getting short of breath, feel like some one keeps punching my in the somach. Deperatly do not wnat to leave my children but cannot see a way out.
What if I have to go to court ? What if they find me guilty ? Inocent people all the time go to jail.
I was bad enough struggling through day to day life loosing my family but this has just but the icing on the cake.
I dont know what to do frightened..been thinking about the best way to do it. Should I go to my doctor ? Will he think I am mad ?
 
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jelly bean

Guest
#2
Hi

I would first like to say how sorry I am for your pain. This must be so very hard for you. Have you got a fasmily memeber orfriend that can come and sit with you for the night. Dont forget you can phone a doctor foe emergency help if you feel you cant cope. Please stay stronge for yourself and your children. Please keep posting here i will listen.
 
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jelly bean

Guest
#4
Please talk to me hun keep posting if you dont want to post here pm me I will listen
 
J

jelly bean

Guest
#6
have you got a out of hours doctor you can call or a crisis team if need be go to the a and e department atthe hospital they will help you
 
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elizabeth29550

Member
Joined
Mar 1, 2011
Messages
13
Location
East Yorkshire
#7
I am going to try and sleep. It feels so nice when I am asleep all the pain goes.
If i feel brave enough tomorrow I am going to go to my doctor. Just feel like my life is over . Thanks you taking the time to speak to me.
 
J

jelly bean

Guest
#8
Please if you feel like to cant cope in the night please take yourself off to the hospial. You need to be safe and the hospital will help you to be safe. Please if you feel it may help keep posting. Please cant care and do what you have to to be safe.
 
Angels

Angels

Well-known member
Joined
May 29, 2010
Messages
2,466
Location
Oblivion
#9
Hey dear,
Ok well in the next interview, if i was you then just tell them the truth. everything. tell them that you didnt do it, you dont know why you were accused and tell them how its making you feel emotionally. Police should not treat you like a peice of garbage at all. if you think they are being rude in any way then dont be afraid to complain. You dont deserve to be put through that after what youve gone through.
The interview might just be to clear you off the list, it might not be bad they might just want to know your side of the story. if they thought that you were immediatley at fault then i think they would have taken action by now. Keep calm and dont jump to conclusions. you KNOW that your not guilty. and stand by this. even if it means they have to search your house. they will have no evidence and everything will be fine.
i know for sure that if they found you to be dodgy then they would of taken action. my uncle used to be a heroin addict and he would steal alot so i know the process.
you have nothing to worry about.

Dont think about suicide. Its just your emotions going into overload. every time i felt suicidal was because i was in emotion overload. and the only reason i attempted was because i was in overload and i was pushed. Its really really not worth it. you risk long term damage and being sent away into hospitals and mental health hospitals. as well as that charcoal stuff to empty your system, its just disgusting.

I advise you do go to your GP, and they will arrange for you to see a councellor. councellors are lovely people, and mine helped me so much when i was going through such hard times. Your Gp wont think that your 'mad'. Im 100% sure that your doctor would have seen cases of depression and maybe even worse before. They deal with alot of patients daily so im pretty sure they have heard it before and they are always compassionate and understanding.
 
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elizabeth29550

Member
Joined
Mar 1, 2011
Messages
13
Location
East Yorkshire
#10
Thank you Angels.

I just can't seem to pull it together. Have terrible thoughts running wild in my head. I have decided that I must go to the doctor tomorrow.
My heart is pounding all the time. I keep getting moments of complete panic.
I am so frightened of myself and I know that sounds mad but its true.
 
blacktulip

blacktulip

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 21, 2010
Messages
4,330
Location
West Yorkshire
#12
It doesnt sound mad at all hun, i am often frightened of myself, but when i am at my worst i seek help, are you able to seek help? have you made a docs appointment yet?
 
Angels

Angels

Well-known member
Joined
May 29, 2010
Messages
2,466
Location
Oblivion
#13
If you begin to get too scared, then please give somebody a quick call. weather it be your GP or a helpline or a friend/family
 
RedRoseBeauty

RedRoseBeauty

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 10, 2010
Messages
2,374
Location
A city in a country.
#14
Hiya & welcome to the forum!

You don't sound mad at all I think anybody in your situation would feel the same!
I know what it's like being accused of theft when you've not done anything, especially when you're looking after someone who is vulnerable & you just think I couldn't do that to them but you're still a suspect!
Please go to your GP and explain how you're feeling & they will give you options and help you!
Keep posting here if you need to, we are all here to help you.
 
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elizabeth29550

Member
Joined
Mar 1, 2011
Messages
13
Location
East Yorkshire
#15
Thank you all so much.
I am determined to go and see the doctor tomorrow. I feel so awful. I am going to call and get an appointment as soon as they open in the morning.
I keep telling myself I have to .... i simply cannot carry on like this.
 
J

jelly bean

Guest
#16
Good for you hun everyone needs to ask for help sometime in their life. I hope you find the support you need and deserve all the best hun keep me posted in what happens when you have been to the doctors
 
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elizabeth29550

Member
Joined
Mar 1, 2011
Messages
13
Location
East Yorkshire
#18
I went to the doctor today. Could hardly talk.
He has put me on some tablets which i am very nervous about taking and refered me to a Pysc. Makes me sound totally mad ! Feel worse now..... than ever. He game a telephone number of a help line if I feel desperate.
Not sure if this all will help at all ??!!
 
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jelly bean

Guest
#19
Hi hun would you mind if I asked what tablets he has put you on as if we know then perhapes people can share their experiences with taking the same medication as you may put you mind at rest. Please if you do feel unsafe makesure you phone that number for help/support
 

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