Suicidal thought.

The Big Dawg

The Big Dawg

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Nov 23, 2014
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Ok I'm still here but one time I went somewhere to commit suicide, it still scares me to this day that I was going to do it, it was like there was nobody around and something just got inside of me to make me do it, it was like I had a voice my head telling me that I must do it, my heart was beating so fast and now when I think about it especially when I'm depressed it just feels so easy to just do it I've had to stop myself from going there because if I do I have no idea on what I'd do given that temptation.
 
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The Big Dawg

The Big Dawg

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Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
528
Location
London
It feels like I can't trust myself because where ever there is temptation something will come over me to make me do something I don't know how to explain it, it was the same when I went to NC to the brown mountains of North Carolina in the USA and I thought well if I killed myself here at least I'd be buried in southern ground and die under the American flag because that would be the place I would really like to be its my home and always has been even though I was born in Britain I have an American heart
 
Jaminacaranda

Jaminacaranda

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Please stay with us, No hope. I know I'm just an ethereal voice on a forum, but I still think I need you. I've been on that precipice, just like you, and now I'm really glad I didn't take the leap. It can take just one moment to dive into an eternity of nothingness but...that is the destiny of us all, in the end. Stay with us for a while longer even if it's only to feel the sunshine on your face one day, or feel the cold rain refreshing your face.
 
The Big Dawg

The Big Dawg

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Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
528
Location
London
I'm not gonna do it but at the same time I don't know what would happen if that thing comes over me I really worry, I don't trust my self like sometimes I fell like just harming myself to try make these things go out of me. I don't wanna die but the voices inside my head are telling me that I should I hate it so much :(
 
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keepsafe

keepsafe

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Dec 15, 2008
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Crazy bullshit - I think not this is real - My head just went spiralling out of control again, the drugs are not good man. Let us all stay safe through the proceeding night - god bless or whatever you believe in all of us xxxx
 
C

Christobel

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Jun 6, 2014
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I'm sorry you are going through such a questioning time, No Hope. I have been there myself. It is good you are talking on here, but is there any real, live person you could have a conversation with about how you are feeling? Do you have a family link with America?
 
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