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    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

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C

carebare

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2021
Messages
15
Location
Texas
Hi, I was diagnosed with OCD last year and am currently really struggling with things. I have been off my prescribed fluvoxamine a month after diagnosis and I had been doing okay for myself since. However, the last few months have been hard on me and I suffered a minor breakdown where I told my family some things I believe. My mom is convinced I'm schizophrenic and I disagree(we do have a family history of bipolar disorder and schizophrenia). I have magical thoughts but sometimes I just notice patterns and a sort of input-output to life. For example, I believe that when I ask the universe for something, it sometimes answers but at a cost. These costs manifest as an amount of suffering equal to the value of what I asked for. I broke down and told my mom I believe that my disabled sibling was the result of my 'greediness' as I have been considered 'gifted' from a young age. I took from them unknowingly. I am aware this is untrue logically but I still believe it is true deep down. Is this considered delusion, or rather just magical thinking? Thoughts?
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Jul 8, 2013
Messages
36,889
Location
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Talk more dear. Your brain is overthinking things way too much. It is not healthy.
 
C

carebare

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2021
Messages
15
Location
Texas
I have been gifted things I ask for (asking defined in simply doing what I feel is appropriate for a request). My main issues day to day is loud thoughts constantly blaring in my head. One thing to the next. I hear car alarms in my head when I try to sleep and repeat songs over and over until I pass out and constantly feel that I am being observed(not by anything in particular but I am terrified of aliens). My magical rituals are mundane and boring(I touch the back of the shower before the water hits me for good luck). It all came to a climax when I walked into my school cafeteria and felt every single person inside was laughing at me specifically. My main issue is that I am aware that none of these things are TRUE, but I still feel the effects and believe them.
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Messages
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Location
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It is definitely not healthy thinking. You do require an outlet. Even hanging around here for a while and getting it all out of your system. But sometimes we need to talk too.

How about creating a Video Blog?
 
C

carebare

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2021
Messages
15
Location
Texas
This is my first day here, I was hoping that someone could compare experiences with psychosis and delusion. I can't afford a psychiatrist on my own and would rather not ask my family unless I truly need a new diagnosis. I am going to college next fall and fear that my state could worsen. I am not comfortable posting my face or revealing information, but talking is easier and less embarrassing on the internet. I do not believe that I suffer from severe delusions which is why I am hesitant to get help. (Thanks for such fast replies, it is very kind)
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Messages
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Location
England
It is possible you are psychotic. Schizophrenia? That is a life long condition- very serious with repeated episodes over years.

I cannot diagnose you. I am not a medical professional. I was diagnosed at the age of 36 after years of psychosis.
 
C

carebare

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2021
Messages
15
Location
Texas
Thank you for your feedback, Its a relief to talk about things because I am terrified of the stories passed down of my ill family. I want to be stable and I am really nervous.
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Messages
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Mental health treatment - not just the medication, but acceptance in society has vastly improved over the years.

You are brave to talk on this forum and express your concerns so do not sell yourself short.

Have a chat with your doc tho dear.
 
Donovan Stephenson (was EdEd)

Donovan Stephenson (was EdEd)

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Mental health treatment - not just the medication, but acceptance in society has vastly improved over the years.

You are brave to talk on this forum and express your concerns so do not sell yourself short.

Have a chat with your doc tho dear.
When you first got schizophrenia how was the acceptance level back then? Have things improved in the time span of you getting schizophrenia till now?
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Messages
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When you first got schizophrenia how was the acceptance level back then? Have things improved in the time span of you getting schizophrenia till now?
IDK man. I was first admitted around 1999-2000. I had zero insight and would lapse into psychotic states and just get through it. I did not even know that i could have claimed benefits back then. My folks encouraged me to get back to work. I was in and out of psychosis for years.

I kept it secret actually. It has only been the last few years that i came out with it publically.

It took me years to admit i heard voices. it was tough
 
Donovan Stephenson (was EdEd)

Donovan Stephenson (was EdEd)

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Messages
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Location
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IDK man. I was first admitted around 1999-2000. I had zero insight and would lapse into psychotic states and just get through it. I did not even know that i could have claimed benefits back then. My folks encouraged me to get back to work. I was in and out of psychosis for years.

I kept it secret actually. It has only been the last few years that i came out with it publically.

It took me years to admit i heard voices. it was tough
Okay , I understand what you're saying.. it is very brave of you to admit that you hear voices and you're always trying to help others with schizophrenia and I find that very compassionate.. very good qualities that you exhibit.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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I had trouble sleeping last week, it was after a conversation with my partner late in the evening/night... He had a lot going on at the time, and my mind was darting from one situation he mentioned to another... An active mind makes getting relaxed enough to sleep very difficult, especially when your thoughts bounce from one thing to another... I mention this as what worked for me was limiting the amount of situations my mind was focusing on... If we are able to focus on the stillness and quietness of a quiet empty room, we can quieten our minds and focus our minds/thoughts on just one thing, apart from a element of control it also gives a element of peacefulness. I think it's truly amazing and awe inspiring that the Original Poster has shared those inner thoughts. By doing so they are putting those thoughts out there for other people's opinions, and hopefully get a better grasp of reality etc. I hope carebare is feeling better for doing so, and if not perhaps disussing those reasons might also be beneficial. If it was me I would also mention this to my Doctor etc, hope this helps. :)
 
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