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Suffering with Thanatophobia

R

RyanC1997

Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2019
Messages
7
Location
Gibraltar
For the reasons unknown to me, at just 21, I suffer from this terrible lonely battle, to feel so isolated and imprisoned by thoughts.

I do not fear death itself or the process of dying but only the thought of no longer existing after death. My fear is that it will be like sleeping without dreaming for eternity and that scares the hell out of me.
This has been the rollercoaster I have been on since I was around 14-15 years old. Hiding in the comfort of my room most of the time, finding comfort in others, trying really hard to understand how people can just accept death.

The occasional breathers when your brain has forgotten what it feels like to be afraid for a while is incredible.
Usually, people with this phobia have somewhat a core to the spike. Unfortunately for me, I do not know why. The only question that comes to my mind when I think of this is, “have I bare witnessed something which was so severe that my brain has decided to remove from my memory?”

Keeping busy and filling my mind with as many positive thoughts, helps. Trying to tune my focus on the present, concentrating my senses such as what I’m presently seeing, smelling, touching, also helps. I used to pray for the best part of an hour every night, which is insane because it’s my complete lack of faith that instils this bloody fear in me even more! I prayed repeatedly and repetitively to live for one hundred thousand million etc years.

What doesn’t help is the stigma around mental health. It’s been extremely hard for me to open up to family about the baggage I carry in my mind daily. It’s been even harder to seek help, with the fear of what people might think of me. Life throws at you many other contributing factors such as job instability, family problems, living conditions, loss of a job, family member getting sick and many other things which we just are bound to come across. When these ‘uncontrollable’ situations happen, for a person with Thanatophobia, it’s extremely distressing because you almost know that a panic attack could spark up.

Fortunately I don’t smoke, don’t abuse alcohol and don’t take any drugs aside my prescription. It’s hard to resolve such a complex condition and even harder to put it all into a synopsis for people to understand.
There are many external factors which don’t help. You can simply be watching TV and an advert for retirement/funeral plans come up or walking through the street and see a funeral convoy driving along. These are things that you just need to grow a thick skin to, if not you’ll just spend your entire existence avoiding these situations.

A person with Thanatophobia doesn’t just carry a phobia. This imprisonment which takes over your life can bring an array of other mental health issues such as depression and severe anxiety when going through a panic attack. Others who may have manifested this horrible phobia are people who have had an NDE (Near Death Experience) or someone who has PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

I decided to start medication this January 2019. I was initially prescribed 50mg daily. The first 2 weeks I had horrible side effects, Nausea, gurning my teeth, excruciating headaches and loss my appetite. After approximately 2 months, it had been doing me a world of good! I was much more motivated, making goals, cleaning more often, going out and other things which seemed impossible. However, I still was having a panic attacks weekly, which is a great improvement from 2-3 a week. My GP decided to increase the dose to 100mg daily. Now I’m just waiting for my body to adjust to the increase, I have had side effects which I hadn’t had before such as insomnia and nightmares.

Hope all of you who suffer from this understand that you’re not alone, for those who had no idea, welcome to our world, for those who know someone with the phobia, help them. I will keep you all posted.

Thanks for reading,

Ryan
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,530
Location
The West Country
Thanks for sharing your story here and i'm glad that you've found medication has helped you somewhat, although I appreciate it doesn't make it all go away.

I think some fear around death is natural but I also can see how it can turn into something more sinister whereby it becomes a full on phobia.
I find if I think about it too much it makes me panic. Similar to you, I don't necessarily fear the dying process. I just find it shocking to think about my loved ones dying and it makes me panic.

Anyway, I hope you continue to move forward and keep posting about your progress. I'd be interested in knowing what helps people who have this phobia live their life.
 
E

Emily2435

Member
Joined
Aug 16, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Uk
For the reasons unknown to me, at just 21, I suffer from this terrible lonely battle, to feel so isolated and imprisoned by thoughts.

I do not fear death itself or the process of dying but only the thought of no longer existing after death. My fear is that it will be like sleeping without dreaming for eternity and that scares the hell out of me.
This has been the rollercoaster I have been on since I was around 14-15 years old. Hiding in the comfort of my room most of the time, finding comfort in others, trying really hard to understand how people can just accept death.

The occasional breathers when your brain has forgotten what it feels like to be afraid for a while is incredible.
Usually, people with this phobia have somewhat a core to the spike. Unfortunately for me, I do not know why. The only question that comes to my mind when I think of this is, “have I bare witnessed something which was so severe that my brain has decided to remove from my memory?”

Keeping busy and filling my mind with as many positive thoughts, helps. Trying to tune my focus on the present, concentrating my senses such as what I’m presently seeing, smelling, touching, also helps. I used to pray for the best part of an hour every night, which is insane because it’s my complete lack of faith that instils this bloody fear in me even more! I prayed repeatedly and repetitively to live for one hundred thousand million etc years.

What doesn’t help is the stigma around mental health. It’s been extremely hard for me to open up to family about the baggage I carry in my mind daily. It’s been even harder to seek help, with the fear of what people might think of me. Life throws at you many other contributing factors such as job instability, family problems, living conditions, loss of a job, family member getting sick and many other things which we just are bound to come across. When these ‘uncontrollable’ situations happen, for a person with Thanatophobia, it’s extremely distressing because you almost know that a panic attack could spark up.

Fortunately I don’t smoke, don’t abuse alcohol and don’t take any drugs aside my prescription. It’s hard to resolve such a complex condition and even harder to put it all into a synopsis for people to understand.
There are many external factors which don’t help. You can simply be watching TV and an advert for retirement/funeral plans come up or walking through the street and see a funeral convoy driving along. These are things that you just need to grow a thick skin to, if not you’ll just spend your entire existence avoiding these situations.

A person with Thanatophobia doesn’t just carry a phobia. This imprisonment which takes over your life can bring an array of other mental health issues such as depression and severe anxiety when going through a panic attack. Others who may have manifested this horrible phobia are people who have had an NDE (Near Death Experience) or someone who has PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

I decided to start medication this January 2019. I was initially prescribed 50mg daily. The first 2 weeks I had horrible side effects, Nausea, gurning my teeth, excruciating headaches and loss my appetite. After approximately 2 months, it had been doing me a world of good! I was much more motivated, making goals, cleaning more often, going out and other things which seemed impossible. However, I still was having a panic attacks weekly, which is a great improvement from 2-3 a week. My GP decided to increase the dose to 100mg daily. Now I’m just waiting for my body to adjust to the increase, I have had side effects which I hadn’t had before such as insomnia and nightmares.

Hope all of you who suffer from this understand that you’re not alone, for those who had no idea, welcome to our world, for those who know someone with the phobia, help them. I will keep you all posted.

Thanks for reading,

Ryan
This is exactly what I’m going through at the moment and it’s literally taking over my life. Every time I feel ok, happy and positive the thoughts jump right back in! I’m on 40mg of Fluoxetine and been on them for a 4weeks now. What medication are you on? Are you coping any better now?
 
AlwaysinCrown

AlwaysinCrown

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2020
Messages
1,631
Location
Poland
If you believe in life after death you aren't so afraid. I'm only afraid of the whole process. As I suffer from many diseases and strange things've happened to me many times I'm not much afraid.
 
E

Emily2435

Member
Joined
Aug 16, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Uk
If you believe in life after death you aren't so afraid. I'm only afraid of the whole process. As I suffer from many diseases and strange things've happened to me many times I'm not much afraid.
I do- and I do try and to focus on that.. I just literally obsess all day, every day about it... Irrational thoughts run away with themselves 😣 sorry to hear you suffer with diseases 😔
 
K

Kev77

New member
Joined
Sep 17, 2020
Messages
3
Location
UK
Hi All, I’m 43 years old now, happily married with two beautiful young children and I’ve lived with Thanatophophia since approximately the age of 5. I believe it was the death of an uncle at that time in my life where I was just starting to realise what mortality meant that was the trigger.

Growing up it was always my mother that I felt I could confide in but she genuinely had no fear of death at all so couldn’t really understand what I was going through and it wasn’t until recent years that I found my father also has a similar fear so maybe it’s inherited!

I have to say there are points in the first post on here which could have been written by me, the whole thing of not fearing how I die but the fact that one day I simply won’t exist is what I’ve battled with all this time and for years I couldn’t even put a name to what I had.

For me tiredness can be a trigger although I’ve been very lucky, I can have what could only be described as mild panic attacks, racing heartbeat, feeling of not being able to move etc but it lasts seconds for me and then I gain control again.

I’ve read various books which are supposed to help, none have but I must admit I’ve never considered seeking a medical solution but perhaps that’s because I’m only a mild sufferer. Strangely for me what has given me some comfort is the realisation that I’m not suffering alone, for so long no one seemed to understand, not family or friends and it was very lonely. Don’t get me wrong I would rather I was the only one that did have this to save anyone else suffering but knowing you’re not alone has helped.

I’m agnostic so sitting on the fence regarding religion, I have similar thoughts on the paranormal, health wise I’ve never smoked, drank or abused medication and physically so far I’ve remained fit and healthy. I steer away from extreme sports and would never in a million years consider doing something like parachuting or bungee jumping.

Having young children is the most amazing gift and although I do experience a feeling of guilt as one day their life will also end I make a point of being there for them and talking to them if awkward questions do pop up as I think talking is the most important thing any of us can do and I’m hoping they won’t have to live with this as they get older.

So there are a few observations which can be looked at as potential positives which I have found and might help someone out there.

I’ve heard so many times that people close to death have more awareness of their surroundings and find simple things like just sitting still and watching nature give them pleasure. For me having Thanatophophia means I have that exact same feeling, I genuinely enjoy nature and can find beauty in the most simple things. It means everyday I find something to make me feel at peace and or happy which most people are simply incapable of doing.

I have a zany sense of humour and always find something to laugh about, trust me laughing helps.

From experience literally every time I’ve worried about anything else it’s always transpired that whatever was bothering me never actually turned out to be as bad as what I imagined it to be. I’ve only ever fainted once, one minute I was standing the next minute I was on the floor with someone standing over me asking if I was ok, there was no feeling that I was going to faint and I have no memory during the event. I assume that death is much the same, my fear of not existing is only something that I can perceive while I’m alive, when I’m dead I won’t have a clue I’m dead so I’ve basically got to a point where when I have these feelings of dread creeping in I can quickly then focus on something more positive as a distraction.

I’ve also not found anything else I’m particularly afraid of, I’m fine with creepy crawlies, heights, confined spaces etc, I suppose in comparison nothing else simply seems as bad.

So there you have it, just a few thoughts from a sufferer with a different perspective. I know I will have this for the rest of my life, I can’t remember a time really when I didn’t have it but I’ve learnt over the years to focus on the areas of my life that I can change positively and don’t let this control me.

Stay strong people and no matter how bad things seem, know that there is light out there somewhere and you will find it.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
3,941
Location
Glasgow
For the reasons unknown to me, at just 21, I suffer from this terrible lonely battle, to feel so isolated and imprisoned by thoughts.

I do not fear death itself or the process of dying but only the thought of no longer existing after death. My fear is that it will be like sleeping without dreaming for eternity and that scares the hell out of me.
This has been the rollercoaster I have been on since I was around 14-15 years old. Hiding in the comfort of my room most of the time, finding comfort in others, trying really hard to understand how people can just accept death.

The occasional breathers when your brain has forgotten what it feels like to be afraid for a while is incredible.
Usually, people with this phobia have somewhat a core to the spike. Unfortunately for me, I do not know why. The only question that comes to my mind when I think of this is, “have I bare witnessed something which was so severe that my brain has decided to remove from my memory?”

Keeping busy and filling my mind with as many positive thoughts, helps. Trying to tune my focus on the present, concentrating my senses such as what I’m presently seeing, smelling, touching, also helps. I used to pray for the best part of an hour every night, which is insane because it’s my complete lack of faith that instils this bloody fear in me even more! I prayed repeatedly and repetitively to live for one hundred thousand million etc years.

What doesn’t help is the stigma around mental health. It’s been extremely hard for me to open up to family about the baggage I carry in my mind daily. It’s been even harder to seek help, with the fear of what people might think of me. Life throws at you many other contributing factors such as job instability, family problems, living conditions, loss of a job, family member getting sick and many other things which we just are bound to come across. When these ‘uncontrollable’ situations happen, for a person with Thanatophobia, it’s extremely distressing because you almost know that a panic attack could spark up.

Fortunately I don’t smoke, don’t abuse alcohol and don’t take any drugs aside my prescription. It’s hard to resolve such a complex condition and even harder to put it all into a synopsis for people to understand.
There are many external factors which don’t help. You can simply be watching TV and an advert for retirement/funeral plans come up or walking through the street and see a funeral convoy driving along. These are things that you just need to grow a thick skin to, if not you’ll just spend your entire existence avoiding these situations.

A person with Thanatophobia doesn’t just carry a phobia. This imprisonment which takes over your life can bring an array of other mental health issues such as depression and severe anxiety when going through a panic attack. Others who may have manifested this horrible phobia are people who have had an NDE (Near Death Experience) or someone who has PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

I decided to start medication this January 2019. I was initially prescribed 50mg daily. The first 2 weeks I had horrible side effects, Nausea, gurning my teeth, excruciating headaches and loss my appetite. After approximately 2 months, it had been doing me a world of good! I was much more motivated, making goals, cleaning more often, going out and other things which seemed impossible. However, I still was having a panic attacks weekly, which is a great improvement from 2-3 a week. My GP decided to increase the dose to 100mg daily. Now I’m just waiting for my body to adjust to the increase, I have had side effects which I hadn’t had before such as insomnia and nightmares.

Hope all of you who suffer from this understand that you’re not alone, for those who had no idea, welcome to our world, for those who know someone with the phobia, help them. I will keep you all posted.

Thanks for reading,

Ryan
An under reported phobia, well done for sharing. You will help many people im sure.
 
AlwaysinCrown

AlwaysinCrown

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2020
Messages
1,631
Location
Poland
Maybe you can read any book about life after death or NDE?
 
E

Elisante

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
May 16, 2020
Messages
1,707
Location
Greece
I can relate. The thought of eternal nothingness scares me like nothing else. It always did. I would rather go to hell than fade into nothingness. I remember the first time I learned about death when I was four or five and I cried so much that my parents had to convince me that I'm going to get recreated. And then I was afraid of being a tree in my next life, and still lack self awareness. I can't even make plans for my life now because what if I die tomorrow?

I think there are some phobias that do not have a reason for being there. You don't have to have gone through a traumatic experience in order to develop them. I certainly know I didn't.
 
A

Anxiousalways88

Member
Joined
Jan 21, 2021
Messages
8
Location
India
Hi All, I’m 43 years old now, happily married with two beautiful young children and I’ve lived with Thanatophophia since approximately the age of 5. I believe it was the death of an uncle at that time in my life where I was just starting to realise what mortality meant that was the trigger.

Growing up it was always my mother that I felt I could confide in but she genuinely had no fear of death at all so couldn’t really understand what I was going through and it wasn’t until recent years that I found my father also has a similar fear so maybe it’s inherited!

I have to say there are points in the first post on here which could have been written by me, the whole thing of not fearing how I die but the fact that one day I simply won’t exist is what I’ve battled with all this time and for years I couldn’t even put a name to what I had.

For me tiredness can be a trigger although I’ve been very lucky, I can have what could only be described as mild panic attacks, racing heartbeat, feeling of not being able to move etc but it lasts seconds for me and then I gain control again.

I’ve read various books which are supposed to help, none have but I must admit I’ve never considered seeking a medical solution but perhaps that’s because I’m only a mild sufferer. Strangely for me what has given me some comfort is the realisation that I’m not suffering alone, for so long no one seemed to understand, not family or friends and it was very lonely. Don’t get me wrong I would rather I was the only one that did have this to save anyone else suffering but knowing you’re not alone has helped.

I’m agnostic so sitting on the fence regarding religion, I have similar thoughts on the paranormal, health wise I’ve never smoked, drank or abused medication and physically so far I’ve remained fit and healthy. I steer away from extreme sports and would never in a million years consider doing something like parachuting or bungee jumping.

Having young children is the most amazing gift and although I do experience a feeling of guilt as one day their life will also end I make a point of being there for them and talking to them if awkward questions do pop up as I think talking is the most important thing any of us can do and I’m hoping they won’t have to live with this as they get older.

So there are a few observations which can be looked at as potential positives which I have found and might help someone out there.

I’ve heard so many times that people close to death have more awareness of their surroundings and find simple things like just sitting still and watching nature give them pleasure. For me having Thanatophophia means I have that exact same feeling, I genuinely enjoy nature and can find beauty in the most simple things. It means everyday I find something to make me feel at peace and or happy which most people are simply incapable of doing.

I have a zany sense of humour and always find something to laugh about, trust me laughing helps.

From experience literally every time I’ve worried about anything else it’s always transpired that whatever was bothering me never actually turned out to be as bad as what I imagined it to be. I’ve only ever fainted once, one minute I was standing the next minute I was on the floor with someone standing over me asking if I was ok, there was no feeling that I was going to faint and I have no memory during the event. I assume that death is much the same, my fear of not existing is only something that I can perceive while I’m alive, when I’m dead I won’t have a clue I’m dead so I’ve basically got to a point where when I have these feelings of dread creeping in I can quickly then focus on something more positive as a distraction.

I’ve also not found anything else I’m particularly afraid of, I’m fine with creepy crawlies, heights, confined spaces etc, I suppose in comparison nothing else simply seems as bad.

So there you have it, just a few thoughts from a sufferer with a different perspective. I know I will have this for the rest of my life, I can’t remember a time really when I didn’t have it but I’ve learnt over the years to focus on the areas of my life that I can change positively and don’t let this control me.

Stay strong people and no matter how bad things seem, know that there is light out there somewhere and you will find it.
I am at a very initial stage of thanatophobia. Its related to my past. My mother expired young like when she was 44 around due to cancer . She left her kids and we have always missed her thinking that my life would be better if she was there. I am 32 now and have two kids. I always feel that i too would die young and leave my kids. Then i think what will happen to my kids . How would they live without me.
Can you help me? I really require some positivity.
 
K

Kev77

New member
Joined
Sep 17, 2020
Messages
3
Location
UK
I am at a very initial stage of thanatophobia. Its related to my past. My mother expired young like when she was 44 around due to cancer . She left her kids and we have always missed her thinking that my life would be better if she was there. I am 32 now and have two kids. I always feel that i too would die young and leave my kids. Then i think what will happen to my kids . How would they live without me.
Can you help me? I really require some positivity.
Hi,

Well I certainly don’t perceive to be an expert and have all the answers but I do believe your mother would be very proud of you for getting on with your life and having your own family without her support and guidance, and more so now by seeking help in these trying times which have not been seen for a hundred plus years.

There is help out there, professionals with years of experience and an impartial view and I understand medications which can also assist.

It’s perfectly natural to be more conscious of the “what if” scenario when you have lost a parent, I myself lost my mother to MND when I was in my teens so she never met my wife or children. I think worrying about your children is something else to be proud of and if you consider how difficult it has been for you and yet you are still here and fighting you can take heart that your children will also make it regardless of what could happen.

There will always be people out there to help and as parents all we can ever do is try our best, be there for as long as we can be, love our children and treasure each moment we have with them.

Please just don’t lose hope and don’t give up, take it one step at a time and talk to professionals if you feel you can’t manage, there are some clever people out there that can help you.
 
A

Anxiousalways88

Member
Joined
Jan 21, 2021
Messages
8
Location
India
Hi,

Well I certainly don’t perceive to be an expert and have all the answers but I do believe your mother would be very proud of you for getting on with your life and having your own family without her support and guidance, and more so now by seeking help in these trying times which have not been seen for a hundred plus years.

There is help out there, professionals with years of experience and an impartial view and I understand medications which can also assist.

It’s perfectly natural to be more conscious of the “what if” scenario when you have lost a parent, I myself lost my mother to MND when I was in my teens so she never met my wife or children. I think worrying about your children is something else to be proud of and if you consider how difficult it has been for you and yet you are still here and fighting you can take heart that your children will also make it regardless of what could happen.

There will always be people out there to help and as parents all we can ever do is try our best, be there for as long as we can be, love our children and treasure each moment we have with them.

Please just don’t lose hope and don’t give up, take it one step at a time and talk to professionals if you feel you can’t manage, there are some clever people out there that can help you.
I have had couple of sessions with a therapist online. It was not much helpful. I guess they just reassure you saying all would be fine. Things would get well. Dont worry. Etc etc. I didnt find much in it that will calm my thoughts.
As you said you suffered this phobia since long time. How did you cope up since so many years?
When the thought of dying and never coming back clicks, what do you do?
 
K

Kev77

New member
Joined
Sep 17, 2020
Messages
3
Location
UK
I have had couple of sessions with a therapist online. It was not much helpful. I guess they just reassure you saying all would be fine. Things would get well. Dont worry. Etc etc. I didnt find much in it that will calm my thoughts.
As you said you suffered this phobia since long time. How did you cope up since so many years?
When the thought of dying and never coming back clicks, what do you do?
What do I do, ok I could say the countless books and articles I've read over the years on the paranormal, near death experiences and in more recently case studies and books on Thanatophobia along with the literally hours of watching documentaries and programmes on the same have been the key, but in all honesty for me at best they've provided a glimmer of hope.



So how do I cope when the realisation starts to bring on another episode? The answer for me is to breathe. Sounds obvious right? But seriously when things are spiralling out of control and you feel like you are falling or unable to move, heart starts racing, your shaking with fear etc I take a slow deep breath in through the nose and slowly out through the mouth and repeat and focus on that and only that. Essentially its self taught meditation, I find within seconds I'm back in control. I keep meaning to learn some form of meditation but just never seem get round to it.



If you think about it only babies and toddlers have no perception of what's to come, everyone else around you will have the same awareness, it’s just it affects some of us more than others.



Most of the world seems to believe in some deity or another but realistically there's no more proof of this than there is for Farther Christmas to be real and yet people with faith have something I still search for which is a genuine belief that there is something more.



Science has advanced so much, think of what we have achieved in the past 100 years and imagine what advances there will be by the time our children are old a grey. For many the thought of ghosts existing is nonsense and impossible yet I know people very close to me that I trust implicitly who swear they have seen something which just cannot be explained by science at this time.



Space is another curiosity, it is as far as we are aware infinitely large which is hard to even perceive, I’ve read there are multiple universes and according to physics different kinds of multiverses which I appreciate sounds like a Marvel plot but this is fact not fiction so who knows what’s possible? That’s why I have hope, we are not developed enough to have all the answers now and tend to shoot down what we disagree with and don’t believe in. Just because something seems implausible now who is to say one day it will not been proven as fact.



So for me, I’m an optimist who has learnt how to control a mild example of the phobia.



As for your experience with the therapist online my advice is to not give up. I have a very close friend the same age as me who suffers with depression which basically got as serious as it could, they were advised by their doctor to see a therapist and believe me this is someone who at the time thought it was a complete waste of time and a load of nonsense, it took many months but now they are on the other side and swear by it. I’ve no idea how you contacted this online therapist and at the moment with lockdowns I know online is the only way you can commune but I would advise to always go via a doctors, doctors themselves may not be able to help but they will be able to put you in touch with professional people that can.
 
A

Anxiousalways88

Member
Joined
Jan 21, 2021
Messages
8
Location
India
What do I do, ok I could say the countless books and articles I've read over the years on the paranormal, near death experiences and in more recently case studies and books on Thanatophobia along with the literally hours of watching documentaries and programmes on the same have been the key, but in all honesty for me at best they've provided a glimmer of hope.



So how do I cope when the realisation starts to bring on another episode? The answer for me is to breathe. Sounds obvious right? But seriously when things are spiralling out of control and you feel like you are falling or unable to move, heart starts racing, your shaking with fear etc I take a slow deep breath in through the nose and slowly out through the mouth and repeat and focus on that and only that. Essentially its self taught meditation, I find within seconds I'm back in control. I keep meaning to learn some form of meditation but just never seem get round to it.



If you think about it only babies and toddlers have no perception of what's to come, everyone else around you will have the same awareness, it’s just it affects some of us more than others.



Most of the world seems to believe in some deity or another but realistically there's no more proof of this than there is for Farther Christmas to be real and yet people with faith have something I still search for which is a genuine belief that there is something more.



Science has advanced so much, think of what we have achieved in the past 100 years and imagine what advances there will be by the time our children are old a grey. For many the thought of ghosts existing is nonsense and impossible yet I know people very close to me that I trust implicitly who swear they have seen something which just cannot be explained by science at this time.



Space is another curiosity, it is as far as we are aware infinitely large which is hard to even perceive, I’ve read there are multiple universes and according to physics different kinds of multiverses which I appreciate sounds like a Marvel plot but this is fact not fiction so who knows what’s possible? That’s why I have hope, we are not developed enough to have all the answers now and tend to shoot down what we disagree with and don’t believe in. Just because something seems implausible now who is to say one day it will not been proven as fact.



So for me, I’m an optimist who has learnt how to control a mild example of the phobia.



As for your experience with the therapist online my advice is to not give up. I have a very close friend the same age as me who suffers with depression which basically got as serious as it could, they were advised by their doctor to see a therapist and believe me this is someone who at the time thought it was a complete waste of time and a load of nonsense, it took many months but now they are on the other side and swear by it. I’ve no idea how you contacted this online therapist and at the moment with lockdowns I know online is the only way you can commune but I would advise to always go via a doctors, doctors themselves may not be able to help but they will be able to put you in touch with professional people that can.
What do I do, ok I could say the countless books and articles I've read over the years on the paranormal, near death experiences and in more recently case studies and books on Thanatophobia along with the literally hours of watching documentaries and programmes on the same have been the key, but in all honesty for me at best they've provided a glimmer of hope.



So how do I cope when the realisation starts to bring on another episode? The answer for me is to breathe. Sounds obvious right? But seriously when things are spiralling out of control and you feel like you are falling or unable to move, heart starts racing, your shaking with fear etc I take a slow deep breath in through the nose and slowly out through the mouth and repeat and focus on that and only that. Essentially its self taught meditation, I find within seconds I'm back in control. I keep meaning to learn some form of meditation but just never seem get round to it.



If you think about it only babies and toddlers have no perception of what's to come, everyone else around you will have the same awareness, it’s just it affects some of us more than others.



Most of the world seems to believe in some deity or another but realistically there's no more proof of this than there is for Farther Christmas to be real and yet people with faith have something I still search for which is a genuine belief that there is something more.



Science has advanced so much, think of what we have achieved in the past 100 years and imagine what advances there will be by the time our children are old a grey. For many the thought of ghosts existing is nonsense and impossible yet I know people very close to me that I trust implicitly who swear they have seen something which just cannot be explained by science at this time.



Space is another curiosity, it is as far as we are aware infinitely large which is hard to even perceive, I’ve read there are multiple universes and according to physics different kinds of multiverses which I appreciate sounds like a Marvel plot but this is fact not fiction so who knows what’s possible? That’s why I have hope, we are not developed enough to have all the answers now and tend to shoot down what we disagree with and don’t believe in. Just because something seems implausible now who is to say one day it will not been proven as fact.



So for me, I’m an optimist who has learnt how to control a mild example of the phobia.



As for your experience with the therapist online my advice is to not give up. I have a very close friend the same age as me who suffers with depression which basically got as serious as it could, they were advised by their doctor to see a therapist and believe me this is someone who at the time thought it was a complete waste of time and a load of nonsense, it took many months but now they are on the other side and swear by it. I’ve no idea how you contacted this online therapist and at the moment with lockdowns I know online is the only way you can commune but I would advise to always go via a doctors, doctors themselves may not be able to help but they will be able to put you in touch with professional people that can.
Thanks for your reply.... i specifically contacted you because u have been struggling thru this fear since very very long and somewhere i felt that you have become more optimistic through this journey and came through so long.

Its really awesome that you have come along very well. I do not wanna live with it for so long. I wanna fight it off soon.

My fear is all through the day. I feel uncomfortable with body sensations assuming it would be something dangerous going ahead. Mainly its bad when i wake up in morning, thoughts just pour in and i dont have a very happy start to my day. Then once these thoughts start, my all day goes in reassuring myself that all are gonna die and so are you. No single person is gonna stay.
I assure myself that if you are first then all others are gonna be behind you one by one.
My friends, family , no one is gonna stay.

So i keep giving myself positive affirmations all day. And at some point i get tired of giving myself these affirmations.
So thats how busy i am with my thoughts.

Sadly this is not how we want our life to be right? We want to live happily , we want to enjoy every moment of life.

You know i see some people around me who just say casually. Whats there to die. Like they say its ok if they die even tomoro. They are so fine with it. I wanna be like them.
I also wanna just be fine with the thought that its ok to die. No issues.

All this has actually caused irritation and i get easily irritated on my kids and husband.
Thats not how i should behave.
I wanna be the loving self as i was. And not a women who is struggling anxiety and getting irritated on her kids and family.

I might reach out to same therapist online who knows some history. Lets see. Not sure if she might help much. This may be a self help kind of thing for me. I will come out of it only if i want to come out of it. Thats how it is i beleive.
Thanks for your reply though.
 

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