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Suffering from GAD

N

nat222

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Joined
Nov 9, 2021
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2
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Brussels
Today is November 9, 2021. I am 27 years old. I first started having regular panic attacks in December 2019. I was not unfamiliar with it before but it only used to occur once or twice during the year and I never made a big deal out of it. I have been battling with depression and OCD since I've been 14 years old. Anxiety was somewhat familiar to me at that time (I was always really nervous before exams or when having to talk in public) but it had never taken over my life. Everything changed during this cold night of December 2019. I remember feeling this heavy pain around my chest, like my heart was being crushed. I do not know what triggered it but this horrible sensation never left me since that night. I later learned that I was suffering from generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). I am now being followed by a psychiatrist and am under medication (mainly valium for my anxiety - I used to be on Xanax before and sipralexa for my depression). I am also following various different types of therapies (including hypnosis) but nothing seems to help. Of course, being under medication has been of a tremendous help (at least during the earlier stages of my anxiety) but I feel like I am now getting accustomed to it and have the need to increase the dosage of my medication (which is of course not recommended). The past few days have been hell. I have sleeping issues and feel this tightening chest pain 24 hours a day. I feel like I am slightly becoming insane and have no idea why. I have had a great childhood and have never experienced any traumatic event in my life (besides the divorce of my parents). I sometimes wonder what made me this way. Being a corporate lawyer doesn't help as it comes with a lot of responsibilities which I am not always able to face given my current situation. To be honest, I don't really know why I joined this forum or what I am expecting to find here but in some ways sharing my experience is kind of a relief (I have to hide it all the time at work and around me except in front of my family and friends and this is EXHAUSTING !). I am happy to discuss with all of you who suffer with the same issues and if any of you has any recommendations/practices which helped them along the way, I will gladly take it, because frankly, a this point in life, I am scared that I am not going to make it.
 
Vandal_Moon

Vandal_Moon

ACCOUNT CLOSED
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Nov 23, 2021
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295
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Milky Way
try sitting in a steam room (not a sauna) and really crank up the steam so its so thick you cant even see. its so powerful it literally forces the mind into a deep mediation. for the first time in your life you might get a glimpse of mushin.

once the mind glimpses mushin it will know what it needs to move towards.
 
Squish

Squish

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Joined
Nov 22, 2021
Messages
32
Location
Neverland
Hi Nat,
Fellow GAD person, and OCD person here. I'm a teacher and sometimes haven't the foggiest notion how I function. Lately it's been really hard with all the brain fog. Sometimes I wonder if my career choice is making it worse...it's crossed my mind too many times. I'm absolutely terrified of medication but it's gotten to a point I need to try something else to cope. I hope the forum will give you a sounding board, or at least a place to write out your experience. Sometimes that's helpful in its own way.
 
N

nat222

New member
Joined
Nov 9, 2021
Messages
2
Location
Brussels
Hi Nat,
Fellow GAD person, and OCD person here. I'm a teacher and sometimes haven't the foggiest notion how I function. Lately it's been really hard with all the brain fog. Sometimes I wonder if my career choice is making it worse...it's crossed my mind too many times. I'm absolutely terrified of medication but it's gotten to a point I need to try something else to cope. I hope the forum will give you a sounding board, or at least a place to write out your experience. Sometimes that's helpful in its own way.
Thank you for your kind message. Sorry to hear about that. I can imagine how difficult it must be especially considering the fact that you always have to interact with other people as a teacher. I really hope you'll get through it as well.
 
Missypoo1969

Missypoo1969

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 26, 2021
Messages
72
Location
Oregon USA
welcome to you! I have had GAD forever The meds help. But they give out at times and have to be changed which is kind of a mess. They can make you worse. Sometimes it’s so hard. My drs here have made me withdraw from the benzodiazepines I took for years but I had to get off of them because now the medical community that gave them to us says theyre bad. It sucks they’re the only thing that really helped. i Hate the anxiety thing too. we all get what you are going thru here. And having to hide it. Makes you feel like you’re crazy. You aren’t. You just have a disorder. Like someone has diabetes. No one questions that. But if you Have a chemical imbalance in your brain people cant get that. It’s so weird. We are here!
 
fragrant_violet

fragrant_violet

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Joined
Mar 29, 2021
Messages
1,804
Location
Tirana
Welcome to the GAD club Nat

Don't waste time and therapy bucks trying to discover the cause - it won't help yer.

A good anti-depressants will take care of the anxiety too. This should be first line of defence. Benzos are ok but poop out real fast then get addictive. The rest is up to you and here are some recommendations

Exercise - swimming best, followed by jogging
Meditation and or yoga, must be done daily
Reading - some of the selfhelp books are better than any therapist. Also check out some foolosophies on youtube - marcus aurelius, stoicism, existentialism. Gives you a whole new perspective
Join in a local mental health group, make new buddies

I guess as a corporate lawyer you work long hours what makes exercise difficult. Do your company know you got GAD? If you could get out for a lunchtime swim or jog that would be kosmisch.

I been reading a lot about the life of corporate lawyer cozza the Japanese guy who martied a princess and moved to NY. He flunked his exam and must retake in February. Its far easier to pass in US than Japan but not if your foreign, you gotta write essays and fast.
 
Missypoo1969

Missypoo1969

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 26, 2021
Messages
72
Location
Oregon USA
I completely agree about the meds being right. I think my antidepressant has stopped working for me waiting to see my dr this week to hopefully straighten it out. Sometimes getting the right antidepressant can be a pain. The right antidepressant cant make a world of difference in the anxiety disorder absolutely.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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Joined
Mar 31, 2015
Messages
1,935
Welcome to the GAD club Nat

Don't waste time and therapy bucks trying to discover the cause - it won't help yer.

A good anti-depressants will take care of the anxiety too. This should be first line of defence. Benzos are ok but poop out real fast then get addictive.
I WISH any of the anti-depressants would help my anxiety! None have even touched it! I can feel them doing other things (like emotionally blunting me, making me less motivated and more apathetic, less interested in things, more irritable and/or more anxious), but nothing even remotely improves my constant feelings of fear and impending dread.

Xanax is the ONLY thing that's really helped, both my anxiety AND the resultant depression. The other benzos were ok, but more just...dulling.
 
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