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Suffering a serious lack of confidence - possible performance anxiety (sexual) **Trigger Warning** issues discussed in detail

M

Midsguy13790

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Hello all hope is ok to post this here if not please advise me have searched the internet a lot and not been able to find anything suitable until now.

For the last couple of months I have been stressed or worrying about my erections. Its hard to tell if its actually erection/performance anxiety or an issue getting turned on. I will try and remember when I last had an erection and if I cant I panic try and force one, when I have one I stress if its actually hard enough or how long it is going to last. If I dont wake up hard I panic straight away although it usually pops up not long after. I know the worrying and stress isnt helping just cant seem to stop the cycle. This isnt the first time I have had these issues, over the years these thoughts/feelings have come and gone sporadically but this phase seems to be lasting longer.

I have spoke to my partner and she assures me everything is ok when we have sex feels as always does etc and in my mind I tell myself everything is ok yet I dont convince myself. We were still having sex or sexual contact on a regular basisuntil about two weeks ago.

About two years ago I went to see my GP about it and he prescribed viagra to see if it helped, I have never had to take one and never had any issues performing. I went back to see him just before the lockdown to discuss he again recommended trying viagra however I am reluctant as I dont want to begin relying on them and I know if I take one I will think I always need them. I asked him for a blood test, full blood count, thyroid check and testosterone levels all came back fine.

I had contacted someone about councelling for performance anxiety/general anxiety to help with a few issues in my life that possibly may be affecting me but obviously there is a wait for these services being made even longer by the pandemic.

As the days go on I can feel myself becoming more withdrawn and less confident and definitly more anxious. This is having a big knock on to my partner who completed CBT a few years ago, the last thing I want to do is negatively affect her.

Hopefully some of you may be able to offer similar experiences or advice all greatfully received and sorry for the long post.
 
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JessisMe

JessisMe

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Welcome to the forums! :grouphug:

I don’t have particular experience in these areas but I do know topics like this have been discussed here so I will defer to those who do.
 
M

Midsguy13790

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Thanks for the welcome and taking the time to reply
 
Z

Zoe1

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sounds like there is nothing physically wrong
just a hang up so need to let go of expectations
 
M

Midsguy13790

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Thanks as I said am seeming help for that looking at around 6-8 weeks still luckily my partner is very understanding and patient with me
 
Z

Zoe1

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thats great, an understanding patient partner is what it takes
 
Bizzarebitrary

Bizzarebitrary

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You're not alone. I have anxiety over erections too. I have anxiety over lots of things.

Now that you can be fairly certain there is nothing in your body causing this, you can focus on the causes of the anxiety. You mentioned you're awaiting counseling and I think it's praiseworthy you've begun the process of seeking help. While you are waiting to talk with a therapist, would you consider talking about anxiety with a support group composed of individuals who also struggle with anxiety?
 
M

Midsguy13790

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This is something I would definitely consider thanks
 
A

AtlantaPerson

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If you’re still dealing with this issue, I’d say go for the Viagra. Who cares if you’re “dependent”? Life’s too short to be having bad (or no) sex. Do it a bunch of times with, get a bunch of successes, then go without, knowing worst case it’s a one-off failure, and you have a backup solution for next time.:)
 
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