I was a microelectronics plant technician specialist. I was quite successful at it and I repaired deep UV lasers and photolithography tools. 20 years ago my annual salary was about $52,000 US. As I got more ill and the schizophrenia took control over my life I became less and less able to function at my job, until I was finally laid off. I quickly got another job and failed at it miserably, couldn't handle the stress and was finally hospitalized for the first time for mental illness. I haven't worked since and for a long time I felt like a total failure in life for not being able to work. It made me very depressed. But finally I started volunteering at a charity in my town and I think that has helped me to improve greatly. It has helped my symptoms get better, and I have become a much happier person. Sometimes I wonder if I could go back to work, or if I should go back to work. I have a strong fear of trying to go back to work because of my terrible experiences of my last two jobs ending. I also feel like I'm in a good place right now and I don't want to mess it up. I'm not symptom free, but I'm relatively stable, mood wise and money wise.