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Stuck on childhood abuse

sh3ll_c4t

sh3ll_c4t

Member
Joined
Apr 6, 2020
Messages
23
Location
Portugal
I'm not feeling very well lately, work and other events are putting me under a huge amount of stress and I'm feeling I'm relapsing. In someother post I mentioned this and I was thinking back to it a lot and to the therapy I interrupted sometime ago. I never got to work out somethings that I'd like to talk to someone preferably anonymously.

I don't remember events from this period that well, but in my childhood somewhere in time when I was maybe 5yo there was in kindergarten this woman that took me to this out of order bathroom and locked me there sometimes and did things to me. And I from the things I remember from those events it was really very wrong, but I was just a little boy and didnt understand any of it, i think, but im not even sure if I did or not, I remember being upset for being locked there and trying to hide for it not happening again, but as a kid I dont remember feeling it was all as wrong as it actually was, as a kid maybe just thought it was a weird adult that like playing with kids pee parts which is weird but as a kid you dont understand a lot of things adults do. So anyway I'm bothered a lot by it, because it makes me feel terrible now but I also wish it didnt leave a trauma and maybe I'm overrestimating the impact it had on me? I never got to talk about this other than for a few minutes to my therapist because it feels very weird and humiliating. Well Idk, I'm feeling very low lately, I wish things could be fine and that it's all really just stress from work and personal life that's making me feel like regressing in my mental health state.
 
B

Butterflysb

Guest
I really think going back to therapy to continue working this out is your best bet. If your serious about working this out....which it seems like it is, then you will make the conscious choice to talk about it with a therapist. I’m sorry you went through this. And I know it must be humiliating. But something that traumatic happening, your not going to get the proper help you need on these forums. If you really want to heal, do the next right thing And seek out help. Be your own advocate. my heart goes out to you and please know your not alone. my brother did something similar to me...except I was older and remember it clearly. Therapy was a game changer, especially since I was willing and READY to put in the work.
 
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