Stuck in a loop

F

Feathers1930

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#1
In trying to conceive and I'm over weight but have been able to lose 15 kilos since November 23rd.

However, my MIL who I love more that I can say has just been diagnosed with cancer. This hàs started my binging at night when I can't sleep. When I'm stuck thinking about what happens if we lose her. I binge to the point my body wants to purge. Sometimes it does, I have no control due to a medical condition.

I feel so overwhelmed. During the day I can easily "forget to eat/have shake" get full quickly with dinner. But once those lights go off I'm stuck with all the thoughts I've been avoiding all day.

I just feel like I'm losing my mind, I'm seeing a psych but not till Monday.

I'm just do lost, hurting, and trying my best to lose weight to be one a mum.

Shouting out the void HELP ME :'(
 
calypso

calypso

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#2
Congratulations on losing the weight, that is impressive. I take it you are close to your MIL (Mother in law???) and its horrible that she has cancer. I don't know how bad the cancer is but there are a lot of cures these days.

As for bingeing, I don't know what to suggest except Mindfulness. If done properly, it diverts the brain from one set of thoughts to another and helps. Its just an idea, try to find a group near you or look it up on a valid site. I hope others will be along soon to help more.
 
F

Feathers1930

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#3
Congratulations on losing the weight, that is impressive. I take it you are close to your MIL (Mother in law???) and its horrible that she has cancer. I don't know how bad the cancer is but there are a lot of cures these days.

As for bingeing, I don't know what to suggest except Mindfulness. If done properly, it diverts the brain from one set of thoughts to another and helps. Its just an idea, try to find a group near you or look it up on a valid site. I hope others will be along soon to help more.

Yes MIL is mother in law she has cancer in the lungs and diaphragm we find out treatment options next week.

My problem is I'm a comfort eater, and it's always sweet. I've eaten a family size bag of lollies, and just opened a packet of chocolate chip cookies and almost ate half the pack I only stopped because I started feeling guilt and nausea. But it felt so good it was like wgst I imagine an alcoholic feels like when they slip up and have that first sip after so long. I barely sleep as it is due to multiple chronic illnesses, which just leaves time to think and crave. I don't know how to stop the craving.
 
calypso

calypso

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#4
I don't know much about EDs I'm afraid but I understand craving sweet things, I do that a lot. I find diverting my mind to other things works but not just think of other things, (if you could you would!) but doing it mindfully. Its about taking things slowly and getting all the senses involved. So eg, you take a shower. But not a dash in, clean yourself type. This time you listen to the water for a couple of minutes, you really listen and let your mind wander to watery things. Then you look at it, really watch the drops falling and notice how they sparkle and glitter. Watch for a couple of minutes. Then you might taste the water and really notice the sensation of it going down your you throat. Feel its warmth there. Then you smell the room and the shower, notice anything you hadn't noticed before and really sniff. The you feel it on your skin, feel the warmth all over you, the sensations as it touches ever part of you and watch it cascade over you.

Your mind will wander, they always do, and so you draw it gently back to the exercise. Initially, your mind will rebel, its used to getting its own way and putting what thoughts it wants in your head, but gradually you can acknowledge those thoughts (don't try to banish them) and draw your mind back to where you want it to be. Repeat all this again and again. You can do it with an apple, or anything you can think of but obviously nothing sweet!!

Its about retraining your mind to obey you in a gentle and co-operative way and not forcing anything. Just an idea.
 
Foxjo

Foxjo

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#5
Im a comfort eater too. Its a tough circle to break.
Try a hobby that keeps your hands busy, i use cross stitch a lot to distract myself, it keeps my hands and mind busy and off eating.

Im sorry about your MIL. thats a lot to take in right now. Calypso has great advice there about mindfulness. I use mindfulness but i concentrate on the bird song outside (if i can get outside, if not i remember back to when i was listening to the seagulls laughing) that always helps me recenter myself. I listen to the different notes, the tones, the rhythm, the laughter of seagulls. It reminds me of warm sunny days where i have felt calm and safe. Worth a try yourself?

Hugs
Fox
 
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Feathers1930

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Joined
Feb 26, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Queensland
#6
Im a comfort eater too. Its a tough circle to break.
Try a hobby that keeps your hands busy, i use cross stitch a lot to distract myself, it keeps my hands and mind busy and off eating.

Im sorry about your MIL. thats a lot to take in right now. Calypso has great advice there about mindfulness. I use mindfulness but i concentrate on the bird song outside (if i can get outside, if not i remember back to when i was listening to the seagulls laughing) that always helps me recenter myself. I listen to the different notes, the tones, the rhythm, the laughter of seagulls. It reminds me of warm sunny days where i have felt calm and safe. Worth a try yourself?

Hugs
Fox
The problem is the bingeing is only at night. As soon as I'm alone with my thoughts with only my phone as a distraction.

I do a lot of the mindfulness as I have fibromyalgia so I need to pace myself a lot. But it doesn't seem to work with the night bingeing. I'm worried if it keeps happening my anorexia during the day is going to be one significantly worse to compensate :'(