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Struggling

rollinat

rollinat

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I have been really struggling this week again, having had a bad week last week as well. I have been on anti-d's for the past month so just don't know if it's me or the drugs. I am increasingly edgy and anxious - finding previously easy situations very difficult. I have a work meeting all day today, nobody knows about my depression and I just don't know how I will manage. Still self-harming. Needed to off-load before I put on my public face and get on with the day. Having this forum is a real help - find it hard to open up to people who actually know me as it seems so out of character for me to be like this.
 
nickh

nickh

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Sorry to hear that you are having a bad week rollinat. But I'm sorry to say - and this is only my experience and opinion :) - the fact that you are trying to carry on exactly as normal, appearing (I'm sort of reading between the lines) a happy, friendly person when you in fact are feeling crap, is going to put an enormous additional strain on you. I know this is a real problem. When I first had depression (well it still happens sometimes now) one of the most difficult/annoying things was people saying 'but you're a really happy/lively etc. etc. person - you can't be depressed'! Of course this is just ignorance. It makes as much sense as saying 'oh you're a happy/lively person you can't have flu/diabetes/arthritis'!! But becaue people don't understand about mental illness they still say stuff like this.

I think you have to let people know that you are suffering with depression. I am not saying this is easy, I found it really hard, but otherwise the strain of continually acting normal/happy is just an additional heavy weight to bear.

But you need to see your GP and try and get some proper therapy really (ie: referred to a Mental health team).

And keep talking here :) - where you can be yourself.

Nick.
 
Fedup

Fedup

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Hope today goes well for you .
Rememeber drugs can take upto 6 weeks to work effectively .
You takecare now :hug:
 
rollinat

rollinat

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Thanks for the replies guys - much appreciated. Yes, Nick, you are of course right - I am carrying on as normal as much as possible which does make things harder. The meeting i was at today was with people I don't normally see more than a few times a year though so really not a time to share! I got through it ok, though am v. tired now and a lot of it was well outside my comfort zone, depression or not! Fedup, I had realised that the drugs may not be working yet but it just makes it quite frustrating - am I getting worse, are the drugs having weird side effects or will they suddenly start working in a week or so? Only time will tell I guess. Thanks for taking the time to reply. Hope your weekend is going well.
 
Fedup

Fedup

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Pleased to read you got through your meeting ok :hug:

What meds are you on ?
Hope you can now chill and relax for the rest of the weekend :)
 
D

Dollit

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Hi Rollinat - try to remember that with or without health problems every one has times when they don't feel like they can cope. I remember once sat with a really ambitious high powered manager at a multi national company we used to work at and she just suddenly turned to me one day and said that she felt as though she'd got her job under fraudulent means and that one day she'd get found out. She hadn't, she'd got her job because she was a technically good manager but she had a period of self doubt.

Sometimes we begin to feel a little worse before we begin to feel better but emotions go up and down all the time, that's normal and I know I feel more self aware of how I feel when I'm in extremis.

Hope things improve for you. :hug:
 
rollinat

rollinat

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I'm on fluoxetine. First time I've taken any of this type of medication.

Yes, not much to do today and it looks like a nice day so that's good. We need to put our tent up to check it ready for our first camping trip of the year next weekend - so hopefully the weather will continue to improve! A few days of being in the fresh air would be great - a few days of sitting in the tent in the rain, not so good!

Hope you have a good day too.
 
D

Dollit

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Have you read the PIL that comes with the medication? They can have a lot of information - side effects, how long it should take to work. If you can't find the one that came with the medication just search with the name of the medication a space and then PIL and you will get the info. That usually works with any medication.

I love camping - I envy you planning a trip. :)
 
Ashami

Ashami

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I'm on fluoxetine. First time I've taken any of this type of medication.

Yes, not much to do today and it looks like a nice day so that's good. We need to put our tent up to check it ready for our first camping trip of the year next weekend - so hopefully the weather will continue to improve! A few days of being in the fresh air would be great - a few days of sitting in the tent in the rain, not so good!

Hope you have a good day too.
Hello rollinat

We haven't spoken yet so please let me offer you a belated :welcome:

Just wanted to say that getting the tent ready sounds like a wonderul idea! Going on a camping trip even better! Rain or no rain, camping has that special something I think, getting close to nature and all that! As long as you've got good gear you can always escape to a lovely cafe with lots of hot tea and delicious cakes to keep you going ;)
 
nickh

nickh

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Glad you got through the meeting OK rollinat. Hope you have a good day today :).

Nick.
 
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