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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Struggling

M

Mulder91

Member
Joined
Dec 2, 2020
Messages
24
Location
Wallasey, Merseyside
I have been struggling a lot lately.

My anxiety has been through the roof thanks to the Coronavirus crisis, and I'm sure I'm not the only one, it has really had a huge impact on people's mental health.

I have been having a lot of intrusive thoughts, mostly about self-harming, but I just don't have the energy or the means to act on them. I feel sometimes like I'm on the verge of just completely losing it and lashing out at my friends and loved ones.

One of the things about depression is that one day you can be fine but the next day you feel like absolute shit. And also how incredibly boring it can be - I spend most of my time watching TV and movies (a lot of times the same things over and over again) but I just can't get the emotional or physical energy to go out. The only times I do go out is when I take my dog for walks, but even that I don't do as much as I should.

I feel like I have been depressed for so long now (almost ten years) that I'm almost afraid of getting better if that makes sense. I have a lot of irrational fears like I will finally get over my depression and then come down with a serious illness and it will all be for nothing.

I don't really speak with anyone, even family, about it.
 
sam999

sam999

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 11, 2020
Messages
121
Location
Canada
hey i dont have Depression or anxiety so i cant give you any tips, but i wish you the best stay strong!:hug:
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
918
I have been struggling a lot lately.

My anxiety has been through the roof thanks to the Coronavirus crisis, and I'm sure I'm not the only one, it has really had a huge impact on people's mental health.

I have been having a lot of intrusive thoughts, mostly about self-harming, but I just don't have the energy or the means to act on them. I feel sometimes like I'm on the verge of just completely losing it and lashing out at my friends and loved ones.

One of the things about depression is that one day you can be fine but the next day you feel like absolute shit. And also how incredibly boring it can be - I spend most of my time watching TV and movies (a lot of times the same things over and over again) but I just can't get the emotional or physical energy to go out. The only times I do go out is when I take my dog for walks, but even that I don't do as much as I should.

I feel like I have been depressed for so long now (almost ten years) that I'm almost afraid of getting better if that makes sense. I have a lot of irrational fears like I will finally get over my depression and then come down with a serious illness and it will all be for nothing.

I don't really speak with anyone, even family, about it.
im sorry youre having such a tough time lately mulder......i know from experience how tough it can be....have you ever tried the herbal remedy St Johns Wort
 
M

Mulder91

Member
Joined
Dec 2, 2020
Messages
24
Location
Wallasey, Merseyside
im sorry youre having such a tough time lately mulder......i know from experience how tough it can be....have you ever tried the herbal remedy St Johns Wort
thanks, no, I haven't tried it, I don't really go for things like that usually but I will take a look.
 
kimidare

kimidare

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 2, 2021
Messages
155
Location
France
Hi Mulder,

I m struggling too, with self harming intrusive thoughts.
I think it s normal to have fear of getting better. On my mind it s because we know this state since a long time, but be better seems difficult, temporary, unknown and like another person. And to go better but have a relapse later is scary too.

Do you know why your depression or self harming thoughts began ?

It s good that you walk outside.

Do you have a journal here to talk at least on the forum ?

:hug:
 
T

treasurebox

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
481
Location
Philippines
Know that depression is temporary. You will get well because there will be better days for you.

Listen to uplifting and encouraging songs on youtube because music is therapeutic and it helps.

Do what you are good at or love doing. Do a hobby.

Create happy moments because happiness is a choice and you deserve it.
 
M

Mulder91

Member
Joined
Dec 2, 2020
Messages
24
Location
Wallasey, Merseyside
Hi Mulder,

I m struggling too, with self harming intrusive thoughts.
I think it s normal to have fear of getting better. On my mind it s because we know this state since a long time, but be better seems difficult, temporary, unknown and like another person. And to go better but have a relapse later is scary too.

Do you know why your depression or self harming thoughts began ?

It s good that you walk outside.

Do you have a journal here to talk at least on the forum ?

:hug:
I'm sorry to hear that. Big hugs and stay strong.

Mine started with death of relative way back in 2008, my grandfather but he was more like a father to me. Got steadily worse over last few years so now I'm just a shell of a man.
Self harm was the same, got addicted to it but I can keep it under control, it's mostly just the thoughts and compulsion to do it.
no I haven't started journal.
 
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