- May 25, 2020
Since I had the idea I am a bad person I feel so ill. All night I was lying in bed feeling so distressed. I tried acknowledging my feelings and accepting them. I woke feeling the same. I tried to talk about it to my partner. He kept telling me I am not a bad person but I cannot shake the feeling I need to punish myself. He was suspicious I was going to self harm and told me it hurts him when I do it. It has been so hard not doing it. I just want to hurt myself and punish myself. I hate myself so much. I am so messed up and emotional. All I can think of is how much I want to die. I am so useless and stupid. I hate feeling so empty and sad and emotional.