Struggling

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notunderstanding

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Joined
Jul 21, 2018
Messages
78
I'm struggling a lot lately. I just can't stand myself. Everyone keeps commenting on my body and saying how I need to gain weight or how I'm "so tiny." Commenting on what I'm eating/not eating...etc. Just wish everyone would be quiet. It's so triggering and I'm trying really hard to eat and drink as I can't afford to go back to my low weight, but tbh I don't see the point anymore. Just want to stop existing entirely, feel like such a useless waste of air. :low: Feel like everything is pointless.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Jan 4, 2013
Messages
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Hi,
Sorry you are struggling, it must be horrible being triggered a lot.
Can you explain to your family they are triggering you?
Have you had any therapy?
Please don't end your life, do contact your GP urgently as your feeling suicidal, or go to A/E or phone 111 if in the UK if elsewhere please go to your local ER or phone emergency services.
I'm here to listen too.
The Samaritans are a help if your in the UK
Contact us | Samaritans
Hope you heal soon.
Take care
 
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notunderstanding

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 21, 2018
Messages
78
Hi,
Sorry you are struggling, it must be horrible being triggered a lot.
Can you explain to your family they are triggering you?
Have you had any therapy?
Please don't end your life, do contact your GP urgently as your feeling suicidal, or go to A/E or phone 111 if in the UK if elsewhere please go to your local ER or phone emergency services.
I'm here to listen too.
The Samaritans are a help if your in the UK
Contact us | Samaritans
Hope you heal soon.
Take care
ED services discharged me because I wasn't engaging "enough". All they did was weigh me anyway and tell me I'd "only" lost xkg...which obviously made me need to lose more, not safe. So I stopped going as often as I should, to protect myself, so they discharged me. I've not had therapy specifically for my ED.


I'm under the care of the local home treatment team, but I can't talk to them anymore. :/ Thank you for your support.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Moderator
Joined
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Messages
9,426
Location
England
Hi,
So sorry you've had such bad experiences, talk to us here. Hope we can help.
You can always private message me to talk too.
Take care
 
Shadow-one

Shadow-one

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ED services discharged me because I wasn't engaging "enough". All they did was weigh me anyway and tell me I'd "only" lost xkg...which obviously made me need to lose more, not safe. So I stopped going as often as I should, to protect myself, so they discharged me. I've not had therapy specifically for my ED.


I'm under the care of the local home treatment team, but I can't talk to them anymore. :/ Thank you for your support.
Hi notunderstanding...

I'm sorry you're struggling so much...

I can empathise so much with you...

If someone told me I had 'only' lost xkg and that was ok......it would send me spiralling down a very dangerous road...

I really don't know why they discharged you....

I would find that very upsetting and it would make me feel like I wasn't 'bad' enough and therefore had to try harder....

Life is so screwed up right now....

I hope you're ok tonight :hug:
 
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notunderstanding

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Joined
Jul 21, 2018
Messages
78
Hi notunderstanding...

I'm sorry you're struggling so much...

I can empathise so much with you...

If someone told me I had 'only' lost xkg and that was ok......it would send me spiralling down a very dangerous road...

I really don't know why they discharged you....

I would find that very upsetting and it would make me feel like I wasn't 'bad' enough and therefore had to try harder....

Life is so screwed up right now....

I hope you're ok tonight :hug:
Exactly. :/ Especially as she would also then say it was a cause for concern that I'd lost that much, but like...obviously my disordered brain focussed on the fact it apparently wasn't "enough" because it was "only" xkg. And yeah, that's exactly where my train of thought went, like obviously I wasn't bad enough if they just decided to discharge me (whilst under the care of the home treatment team!).

Hope you're doing OK! :hug:
 
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