Struggling with Transference - I act like a child

B

bb0306

New member
Joined
Dec 1, 2017
Messages
1
#1
Hi,

I've just recently started therapy and noticed that I've become super attached to my counsellor. This is not unusual, I've done this with many women in the past. Growing up, my father was abusive and my mom was emotionally unavailable.

This past week I went to see my counsellor and was struggling a lot with my depression and suicidal thoughts. When she told me that she didn't think she could let me leave and go home the way I was I proceeded to resort to my most childlike resorts. I have been kind of clingy and child like with her for weeks, but all kind things. This time, I was basically throwing a tantrum. She gave me options of what I could do (go to the hospital, call a friend to stay with.. etc) but I refused to make a decision, huffing and pouting the entire time.

At the time I did not think about how I was acting (I never acted like this in childhood or even with anybody else I have been attached to) I just knew that I wanted things to be my way. But, looking back, I am nervous that my counsellor will become frustrated with me and decide that she doesn't want to deal with me anymore.. Despite the fact that she still hugged me to end my session and waited with me for my friend to get home. I am just discouraged, and I think it is mostly in my head.. but I can't get past this incident and how I acted...
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,440
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
#2
The best way to get over such behavior is to apologize to her sincerely and apologize to YOURSELF for doing that and promise your self that you won't do it again. :)
 
Poppy2014

Poppy2014

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Jun 16, 2015
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651
Location
yorkshire
#3
Transference is absolutely normal in therapy. It was one of the things I feared the most after being told by a fu*kwit of a nurse I was a dependent personality.
I discussed it with S my therapist and he told me it had to happen for therapy to be real, but we would watch for it to make sure it didn't take over.

Now it appears yours has become overwhelming and it is disrupting your therapy. This is where you will need to be strong, you need to be honest with your therapist and tell her you are developing strong feelings. I think the hug at the end of therapy won't help either this is giving comfort which will exacerbate the feeling of attachment and security that you didn't have has a child. It needs to stop, she is your therapist not your parent and needs to keep a professional distance especially given your personality type.

This week before you go to therapy, write your post out, but put in more detail, why you think like that, why did you get pouty and tantrum, what was it about that session that made you feel 2.
Then take it to her, read it or give her it to read and talk, be honest and if she is any sort of decent therapist she will take it on board, watch for it happening and talk you through these emotions without damaging your relationship.

Good luck, the first step is recognising you have this tendency the next is learning how to have appropriate transference and dependence.

Poppy x
 
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