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Struggling with thoughts

A

Alyshakm

New member
Joined
Oct 29, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Uk
Hi there,

this feels really alien to me right now but I don’t know what else to do.

I’m really struggling with my mental health, depression and anxiety.
But I’m also going through some really bad crap with my middle sister.
Long story short she’s has accused me of sexual abuse over 10 years ago and I’m currently being investigated by the police.
What’s worse is that I still live at home, with both of my younger sisters and my mum and step dad. I’m not aloud to be left alone with either of them, or go into their rooms or them in mine. Me and my youngest sister are or should I say we’re extremely close. I feel like that’s been snapped away from me.

ive got to a point where I’m struggling so much that I’m having thoughts of not wanting to be here. There is no possible what I would do anything to my sisters EVER!
But I want to know if me being here would make her happy.
I want to know if my friends would miss me or if they would even be bothered that I’m no longer here. But how do I even ask them? I don’t want to worry them but I still want to know.
I’m on antidepressants but I feel like they’re not enough at the moment to keep me from downing. But with the current pandemic going on how can I be selfish? How can I ring and speak to a doctor when they could be helping save someone’s life from this virus. I’m so confused and hurt and angry and feb up with everything.
 
Mario82

Mario82

Taking a break
Joined
Apr 4, 2020
Messages
3,781
Location
UK
Hi, I am sorry this is happening to you, I am sure you're a lovely person who is being wrongly investigated and would never hurt your sisters as you say.

I know it must be really hard but suicide really isn't the right thing to do, you have to keep going and playing the game of life. You haven't done anything I am sure so hopefully you won't be charged and the investigations will stop. Also, never feel selfish - yeah people are ill with the virus but that doesn't mean you and others haven't got their own problems - after all, the virus is something extra to heap on the levels of shit some of us have to deal with. So don't think that.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
7,144
Location
Nashua NH
What a difficult and painful situation to go through.
You need all the support you can get through this rough time. Yes do call whoever you feel might be a support for you. Reach out for help and support wherever you can find it. Things may feel difficult now but chances are good that they will resolve themselves to the positive. Try to have patience and faith with yourself and in the situation. We are here for you and I’m sure there are others out there who will support you too. :hug:
 
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