• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Struggling with issues from childhood

  • Thread starter ImperfectPerfectionist
  • Start date
I

ImperfectPerfectionist

New member
Joined
May 17, 2020
Messages
2
Location
Helsby
First time I've ever posted on here but I need some support.
Since having my first baby, I've been struggling with the way my mum was with me when I was growing up. I lost my dad when I was in primary school but was never allowed to grieve for him/have any sort of counselling/be upset in front of people. I was not allowed to show emotion of any kind and was told over and over again that I was "too sensitive".

Until recently I believed I had a close relationship with my mum and that she was a brilliant mum (she would tell me this on a daily basis). Now I have my own child, I realise that she was far from perfect. She would cause arguments with me over the smallest things and then tell me how bad I was and shame me. I was well-behaved child who tried hard at school and was always polite, but nothing was ever perfect enough. She would act embarrassed of me and tell me off if I ever told anyone anything that showed me or her in a less than perfect light. She would always (and still does) tell me and everyone around her how clever, good-looking and popular she is and can never admit wrong-doing or apologise. I would (and still do) apologise for everything I do and have very low self-esteem.

I've always believed there was something wrong with me until now. I suppose I'd just like reassurance that I'm not inherently bad as she made me believe and that I won't necessarily repeat this behaviour with my son as that's my worst fear.

Thanks for reading x
 
Antimatter

Antimatter

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2020
Messages
885
Location
UK
You have identified the negative pattern, therefore you won't do the same. I had similar experiences with my mum. She never passed 15 years old emotionally, I'm sure of it. She is now 65.

I have a young family now, it's hard work but fulfilling. Funny thing is, when they are older they are bound to blame you for something lol. Just do your best, will be fine x
 
I

ImperfectPerfectionist

New member
Joined
May 17, 2020
Messages
2
Location
Helsby
Thanks for your reply. I really appreciate it x
 
Top