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Struggling with friendships

F

feelingstrained

Member
Joined
Mar 13, 2015
Messages
7
I dont have many friends, in fact I have 3.

1only ever has any type of communication with me when she is having problems or needs to let off steam, The second has little time for friends as she has her own family we may see each other a couple of times a year, but we do have more frequent conversation via Facebook.

The 3rd person I dont even know where I stand anymore. One minute we seam to be really close the next she is describing me to people as "a nutter" "freak". She talks about me behind my back, I am not one for listening to gossip but when someone tells you something only one other person besides yourself knows, it is really hard to pretend like it didnt come from them. Comments have been placed on a certain social media site, so I deleted my account. One comment she put on the site reduced me to tears

I just dont know what to do! I feel like a school kid. I seam to long to be her friend but at the same time I hate the way she treats me. I want her to talk to me and I want to be able to trust her with things about me. I always seam to look for ways in which to buy her friendship and then I sit back and think it is not a friendship if only one of you wants to be friends.

I dont know what to do. I dont want my mental health issues, and I feel like they are holding me back and keeping me from having her as my true friend. On a good day I can rationalise that I dont want nothing to do with a person who writes thinks it is appropriate to write on a social networking site that you are a nutter and your life will make a brilliant horror story but on a bad day I crave the friendship

I dont think I am clingy person I jst want a real friend in my life who actually wants to be my friend not just for now. I dont send 50 thousand texts to any one every day, or call them. I just want to have a real friendship

Any suggestion on how to deal with this?
 
katya

katya

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 4, 2013
Messages
2,052
Location
England
I think just try to meet new people. Clearly these friends aren't giving you what you need right now. I find friendships to be a bit of a mindfield; I have to be sure they're my friend for a genuine reason, not to distract themselves or satisfy their own ego in some way (by looking down on me). Unfortunately, far too many people are more than happy to participate in friendships for toxic reasons like these. I don't know how to make friends, though - it seems impossible until it happens. Maybe you can join a group in your community?
 
F

feelingstrained

Member
Joined
Mar 13, 2015
Messages
7
I have no idea how to make friends, I seam to lose them much faster than I gain. which seams to make it even more important to cling onto what friends I have. I have not made a new friend since 2008, and struggle to interact with people at the best of time
 
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