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Struggling tonight, trying not to text an ex.

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Fancyharm

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I'm much better in my head about the texting.

Also I realise what I thought he was was a nice fantasy. What he actually is is no use to me whatsoever.
 
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Fancyharm

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That blip I had when I texted him got a reply of rubbish minimal wording. He must have been surprised when all I responded with was emoji!!!!! If I do get a blip It's going to be minimal text or just emoji!
 
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Zoe1

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yes people are really surprised
when they dont get the usual reaction from you

:grouphug:
 
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Fancyharm

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Thanks Zoe1. Yes I think I have made a common mistake of putting someone on a pedestal and making them something they are not. And I have been abused by having been encouraged by him. That is a fail on his part.

I hate to sound self centred but I shall take the credit for being so nice and imagining him on such a grand scale, the grand scale is something he does not have the ability to live up to. Again, a fail on his part!

I shall also take it as a comfort in that I will recognise this kind of behaviour within myself, in the future, and it will NEVER happen again.

Lessons to be learned here and progress to be made. And all of the glory is mine.
 
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Fancyharm

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Oh and if he were to read that he may say "Well I didn't need to be any of those things you imagined me to be"

True, but he certainly was abusive.
 
Lynds1990

Lynds1990

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Mar 4, 2019
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Going through a bit of the same thing, unfortunately. Suffering from BPD, it's a bit rough because I'm not sure if it's the fear of abandonment or actual feelings.

Previously, I had feelings, but recently I didn't. Now that he's with someone and I'm no longer the "centre of his attention", the more I wonder, "Well, what if I do? MAYBE I do. I have to do something." It's just a never-ending, uphill battle. And it is exhausting. 😶
 
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Fancyharm

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Sep 7, 2018
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Thanks for sharing Lynds1990.

It's difficult I know. But I have made progress lately and that is by replacement thoughts, and the forum has helped me a lot.

If ever you need to get your feelings written down post on here, it helps a lot to get the feelings out of the mind and the forum members are very supportive.
 
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Zoe1

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you can do it Fancyharm !

what else can you do ?

:love: :) :loveshower:
 
F

Fancyharm

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Sep 7, 2018
Messages
540
Location
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Thanks. It's difficult but I think I'm on the right side of it now.
 
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