Struggling tonight, trying not to text an ex.

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CaptainFlint

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My gf also started being cold and truly disappointing toward the end. It really does make you think "why bother". But somehow the memories of the good times of being in love are so hard to erase, you can't see the current reality of the situation too well.

Took me 4 months alone, and probably 2 months worth of support condensed into 1 week from this forum. But I'm slowly starting to see why it never would've worked with someone like that. I'd still take her back in a heartbeat though after everything that happened.... So I think I have more progress yet to be made lol
 
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Fancyharm

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I found what you wrote to be a comfort and you sounded genuine and honest. Please don't feel you are making the thread 'about you', it didn't come across like that at all.

Thank you for the kind offer of being available should I wish to need your help. Likewise, I am happy to help you where I can.

This forum is really good, please continue to share your experiences, it will help you and other members.👍👍👍
 
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CaptainFlint

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I found what you wrote to be a comfort and you sounded genuine and honest. Please don't feel you are making the thread 'about you', it didn't come across like that at all.

Thank you for the kind offer of being available should I wish to need your help. Likewise, I am happy to help you where I can.

This forum is really good, please continue to share your experiences, it will help you and other members.👍👍👍
Thank you c:

I think I'm in a sort of unstable state right now. But it comes from an unfortunate place of sanity. This may not be the right place to post this, but I'm bipolar type 2. That essentially means I have poor control of my emotions, feelings, behavior, energy. I don't hear voices or see things that aren't there. But nonetheless my condition makes life a little harder, and I feel things a bit too much.

Whatever you're going through, I promise I've had the same feelings. And since I'm still here and still trying to do better, I have unwavering confidence that you will too
 
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Fancyharm

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I don't think it would be an issue talking about your condition in this thread. It's certainly ok with me.

You seem to be coping well from how you write. I know there is a lot more to coping than being able to get your feelings written down, but like you said you are working through.

I'm a recovered agoraphobic. I'm at a place 28 years since the agoraphobia that I thought would not be possible. I've done loads alone, even went to Prague for plastic surgery!!!

Learning about my condition was one of the best things ever. Relaxation exercises, positive affirmations, all helped.
 
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Fancyharm

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I'm much better in my head about the texting.

Also I realise what I thought he was was a nice fantasy. What he actually is is no use to me whatsoever.
 
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Fancyharm

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That blip I had when I texted him got a reply of rubbish minimal wording. He must have been surprised when all I responded with was emoji!!!!! If I do get a blip It's going to be minimal text or just emoji!
 
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Zoe1

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yes people are really surprised
when they dont get the usual reaction from you

:grouphug:
 
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Fancyharm

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Thanks Zoe1. Yes I think I have made a common mistake of putting someone on a pedestal and making them something they are not. And I have been abused by having been encouraged by him. That is a fail on his part.

I hate to sound self centred but I shall take the credit for being so nice and imagining him on such a grand scale, the grand scale is something he does not have the ability to live up to. Again, a fail on his part!

I shall also take it as a comfort in that I will recognise this kind of behaviour within myself, in the future, and it will NEVER happen again.

Lessons to be learned here and progress to be made. And all of the glory is mine.
 
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Fancyharm

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Oh and if he were to read that he may say "Well I didn't need to be any of those things you imagined me to be"

True, but he certainly was abusive.
 
Lynds1990

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Going through a bit of the same thing, unfortunately. Suffering from BPD, it's a bit rough because I'm not sure if it's the fear of abandonment or actual feelings.

Previously, I had feelings, but recently I didn't. Now that he's with someone and I'm no longer the "centre of his attention", the more I wonder, "Well, what if I do? MAYBE I do. I have to do something." It's just a never-ending, uphill battle. And it is exhausting. 😶
 
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Fancyharm

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Thanks for sharing Lynds1990.

It's difficult I know. But I have made progress lately and that is by replacement thoughts, and the forum has helped me a lot.

If ever you need to get your feelings written down post on here, it helps a lot to get the feelings out of the mind and the forum members are very supportive.
 
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Zoe1

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you can do it Fancyharm !

what else can you do ?

:love: :) :loveshower:
 
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Fancyharm

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Thanks. It's difficult but I think I'm on the right side of it now.
 
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