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Struggling tonight, trying not to text an ex.

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Fancyharm

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Well it's Thursday of the first week of not texting. Doing ok so far. Hopefully it will get easier at some point.
 
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Fancyharm

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Thank you. The reminders defo work for me.

It's hard to know how to strike a balance when keeping busy.

Too much keeping busy would wear you down, but not enough means too much room to think.
 
TaurusLady

TaurusLady

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Aug 2, 2019
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Birmingham
Don't give your ex your love and time like this!!
Take care of your wellbeing.. And remember that a better response can come from someone else that you send that text to instead!

xx
 
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Fancyharm

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That's very true. Thank you for the good advice. I am trying very hard to get over this feeling of not feeling normal until I text him.

I am really trying to be strong but it is hard.

I am posting on the forum to build a better habit.
 
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Fancyharm

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Still hanging in there tonight. Thanks for being there everyone xx
 
F

Fancyharm

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You are wonderful too midnight phoenix👍👍

I seem to have gotten through tonight.

I am so pleased I have got this far.
 
fazza

fazza

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Can I give you a man's point of view.
Chances are he relishes in the fact that you text him. Why give him the opportunity to gain from your un happiness.

As an opposite example when I was 21 I was in a very toxic relationship. Unfortunately I married her. She was pure evil and loved making my life hell but I didn't know anything different. I thought this is what love is. I was so wrong. After many breakups I was always making contact with her. I was like a puppet on a string. Then one day I said no. It was hard and the funny thing was it completely invalidates her. Suddenly I had the ace card. I was back in control of my life.
She is an ex for a reason. It didn't work it was not love it was an addiction. I had to break the cycle and it was the best thing I have ever done.

Now I am so content and happy. I have been married for 16 years. No longer do I feel like I have to fight for affection or love as this has come spontaneously. It will happen to you too.

Be strong you can do this.
Cut the puppet strings.
 
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Fancyharm

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Thanks for sharing that Fazza. Thanks for confirming what I thought was right but my mind is a bit mashed right now. It is an addiction and I do now have the ace card.

I just couldn't go on like I was. It isn't like me to be addicted to anything. I am usually very strong. Hopefully my strength is back now.

You did really well to sort yourself out, you should be so proud, well done.

I am not one to shy away from difficult stuff, so having this addiction has made me feel so bad and drained.

I know he is likely not to text. He is a controller, so he will not be controlled. So it couldn't get any better, I have the ace card and he will not text, which is what is required to move forward.

He has shocked me once before and given me control, but this is yet another plus point as I don't think he will make thst mistake again.

He had a chance and messed up. He wasn't good enough. So what, I need to move on for my own self worth.

Thanks again for sharing your story. It has helped me so much. And again, well done.👍👍
 
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Fancyharm

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Here goes for another day of using my energy on something good. Not giving in to myself and running to the abuser.

I believe it is abuse, people should be kind to one another or just be straight and say they don't want to be involved.

Everyone try to be strong today, whatever you are suffering. You can overcome xx❤❤
 
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Fancyharm

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A bit flat at the moment. It's Friday, perhaps I feel like I would like to share the happiness of Friday with him.

I think I'm right. Trying really really hard.

My subconscious is saying to me that perhaps I have had enough of this resisting texting. I suppose I am feeling like resisting is hard.

Any help anyone can give me would be appreciated.
 
fazza

fazza

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Every minute every hour every day is a victory for you. You are winning. Be a warrior and before you know it the battle will be over.
Give it time and you will look back and will be a little annoyed with yourself for giving your precious time on this earth to this guy. It does not matter. Take this as a learning experience on life's journey but remember. We only have one go at life. One ticket so make it count and enjoy your life.
We shouldn't waste our time on earth on things that make us miserable
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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Tigger and Willow's house UK
:grouphug: You deserve much better than him, Fancyharm:grouphug:

You are a beautiful amazing woman and are going to find a man who treats you like a princess, which is what you deserve :grouphug::grouphug::respect::respect::loveshower:
 
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Fancyharm

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Location
West Midlands
Thank you so much. You are both kind.

I am so determined to do this. I wasn't right how I was. Like I said I am so strong willed, I have beaten agoraphobia and I have coped with the loss of my eye 33 years ago. So this is and will be a walk in the park (I tell myself).

Fazza I think I will be more than annoyed with myself!!!!
 
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