Struggling tonight, trying not to text an ex.

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Fancyharm

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Still hanging in there tonight. Thanks for being there everyone xx
 
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Fancyharm

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You are wonderful too midnight phoenix👍👍

I seem to have gotten through tonight.

I am so pleased I have got this far.
 
fazza

fazza

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Can I give you a man's point of view.
Chances are he relishes in the fact that you text him. Why give him the opportunity to gain from your un happiness.

As an opposite example when I was 21 I was in a very toxic relationship. Unfortunately I married her. She was pure evil and loved making my life hell but I didn't know anything different. I thought this is what love is. I was so wrong. After many breakups I was always making contact with her. I was like a puppet on a string. Then one day I said no. It was hard and the funny thing was it completely invalidates her. Suddenly I had the ace card. I was back in control of my life.
She is an ex for a reason. It didn't work it was not love it was an addiction. I had to break the cycle and it was the best thing I have ever done.

Now I am so content and happy. I have been married for 16 years. No longer do I feel like I have to fight for affection or love as this has come spontaneously. It will happen to you too.

Be strong you can do this.
Cut the puppet strings.
 
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Fancyharm

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Thanks for sharing that Fazza. Thanks for confirming what I thought was right but my mind is a bit mashed right now. It is an addiction and I do now have the ace card.

I just couldn't go on like I was. It isn't like me to be addicted to anything. I am usually very strong. Hopefully my strength is back now.

You did really well to sort yourself out, you should be so proud, well done.

I am not one to shy away from difficult stuff, so having this addiction has made me feel so bad and drained.

I know he is likely not to text. He is a controller, so he will not be controlled. So it couldn't get any better, I have the ace card and he will not text, which is what is required to move forward.

He has shocked me once before and given me control, but this is yet another plus point as I don't think he will make thst mistake again.

He had a chance and messed up. He wasn't good enough. So what, I need to move on for my own self worth.

Thanks again for sharing your story. It has helped me so much. And again, well done.👍👍
 
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Fancyharm

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Here goes for another day of using my energy on something good. Not giving in to myself and running to the abuser.

I believe it is abuse, people should be kind to one another or just be straight and say they don't want to be involved.

Everyone try to be strong today, whatever you are suffering. You can overcome xx❤❤
 
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Fancyharm

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A bit flat at the moment. It's Friday, perhaps I feel like I would like to share the happiness of Friday with him.

I think I'm right. Trying really really hard.

My subconscious is saying to me that perhaps I have had enough of this resisting texting. I suppose I am feeling like resisting is hard.

Any help anyone can give me would be appreciated.
 
fazza

fazza

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Every minute every hour every day is a victory for you. You are winning. Be a warrior and before you know it the battle will be over.
Give it time and you will look back and will be a little annoyed with yourself for giving your precious time on this earth to this guy. It does not matter. Take this as a learning experience on life's journey but remember. We only have one go at life. One ticket so make it count and enjoy your life.
We shouldn't waste our time on earth on things that make us miserable
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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:grouphug: You deserve much better than him, Fancyharm:grouphug:

You are a beautiful amazing woman and are going to find a man who treats you like a princess, which is what you deserve :grouphug::grouphug::respect::respect::loveshower:
 
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Fancyharm

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Thank you so much. You are both kind.

I am so determined to do this. I wasn't right how I was. Like I said I am so strong willed, I have beaten agoraphobia and I have coped with the loss of my eye 33 years ago. So this is and will be a walk in the park (I tell myself).

Fazza I think I will be more than annoyed with myself!!!!
 
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Fancyharm

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😚😚😚😚😚😂😂😂😂😂 you are funny midnightpheonix!!!!!

I have to remain strong, and the forum helps me so much.

I will keep busy tomorrow. Keep busy and remember to relax too. It's been an issue in the past when I have used keeping busy to avoid my heartache. It's almost as if my body has forgotten how to relax which leads to anxiety.
 
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Fancyharm

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Hi all, hope you are having a good Saturday xx

Well I'm kind of thinking what response would I get now if I sent a text? I'm being totally honest. I really want to remember how good I have felt not texting.

I just have these blips at times.

I am posting to try and replace texting.

Love to you all XxxxX
 
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Fancyharm

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Unfortunately I sent a text last night. Nothing major in the contents.

A disappointing response came back but what's new.

I did 9 days without texting so hopefully this time I will not give in to myself.

I still don't even enjoy texting and the responses leave a lot to be desired.

Oh well, here's to greater will power next time.
 
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Fancyharm

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Having one of my sleepless nights. I get them at the moment as I am off sick and not using up loads of energy in the day.

I have done well resisting texting the last couple of days.

There are much more interesting things to do, like picking up the dog shit after my dogs! Sorry but poop scooping has more satisfaction, the disappointing useless replies I get are just odd.

Hopefully I will have kicked the habit already.
 
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CaptainFlint

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I can empathize a lot. And boy is it tough. My gf that I knew for years and years abruptly left me. Blocked my number, cut me off with no closure. I'm sure you can and will handle it better than I did..

I couldn't handle it. At all. Couldn't believe that someone I was gonna marry and have kids with wouldn't spare me a word. I was at a major low point, and had also lost nearly all my friends and was going through an unrelated trauma at the time too.

So.. I went off my meds cause I said fuck it. And ended up making a bunch of email accounts begging her for one sentence of closure. When she couldn't even give me that, I went out of my mind. Threatened myself, then threatened her. Id never hurt a fly, but I just said worse and worse things hoping to get a response. Eventually all my messages included asking her to call the police, because my irrational mind thought that having the police come would at least affirm that she had read my messages.

She didn't respond, but the police sure did come lol. Talked to me and sympathized, but put me in a psych ward for 24 hours to calm down. I thought it would bring me closure, but overall I'd say, the experience wasn't worth it lol.

I'm sure this doesn't have much to do with your situation. But I can say; I know how hard it is to let things go and move on. But if you can find the courage and resilience in the long run, I'm sure you'll be better off and have more self-esteem because of it

Sometimes, against all intuition. The most healthy course of action is to let yourself hurt temporarily. So you can become stronger, more independent, and self-loving in the near future
 
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Fancyharm

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Thanks for sharing your story. It sounds rough what you went through. It is an odd way to feel.

I am getting better and better. Plus he is so disappointing that I just don't know why I bother.

I will sort it and the forum helps me so much.

Again thanks for sharing your story, it sounds like you deserve a medal for getting through it, and I don't mean that in a sarcastic way.
 
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CaptainFlint

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Thanks for sharing your story. It sounds rough what you went through. It is an odd way to feel.

I am getting better and better. Plus he is so disappointing that I just don't know why I bother.

I will sort it and the forum helps me so much.

Again thanks for sharing your story, it sounds like you deserve a medal for getting through it, and I don't mean that in a sarcastic way.
Thank you c:

I just joined the forum last week. And part of me feels like I've been bitching and writing wayy too much.

Ive just had a lot to get out; used to be a Lit major, probably can't help myself.

And also, didn't mean to make this thread about me haha. But I do really understand some of the feelings you're going through. And can definitely support you any time if you need a friendly ear. Chin up, you sound like you're winning your battle slowly but surely
 
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