Can I give you a man's point of view.
Chances are he relishes in the fact that you text him. Why give him the opportunity to gain from your un happiness.
As an opposite example when I was 21 I was in a very toxic relationship. Unfortunately I married her. She was pure evil and loved making my life hell but I didn't know anything different. I thought this is what love is. I was so wrong. After many breakups I was always making contact with her. I was like a puppet on a string. Then one day I said no. It was hard and the funny thing was it completely invalidates her. Suddenly I had the ace card. I was back in control of my life.
She is an ex for a reason. It didn't work it was not love it was an addiction. I had to break the cycle and it was the best thing I have ever done.
Now I am so content and happy. I have been married for 16 years. No longer do I feel like I have to fight for affection or love as this has come spontaneously. It will happen to you too.
Be strong you can do this.
Cut the puppet strings.
Every minute every hour every day is a victory for you. You are winning. Be a warrior and before you know it the battle will be over.
Give it time and you will look back and will be a little annoyed with yourself for giving your precious time on this earth to this guy. It does not matter. Take this as a learning experience on life's journey but remember. We only have one go at life. One ticket so make it count and enjoy your life.
We shouldn't waste our time on earth on things that make us miserable
I am so determined to do this. I wasn't right how I was. Like I said I am so strong willed, I have beaten agoraphobia and I have coped with the loss of my eye 33 years ago. So this is and will be a walk in the park (I tell myself).
Fazza I think I will be more than annoyed with myself!!!!