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Struggling to retain my true self.

L

Lost and Wandering

Active member
Joined
Jan 5, 2018
Messages
29
Hey,

Overall I am known for being a bubbly, cheerful and somewhat cheeky person. Not quite the life of the party but a welcome presence nonetheless.

Yet I admit that I am struggling to retain that person. Almost as though a cloud swept in unexpectedly and I was too idle to notice it until the rain trickled down. I suddenly found myself feeling overwhelmed. Anxious of so much around me and feeling depressed.

Recently I found myself managing a small team at work. I know the job well but I am riddled with anxiety and (even more so) self-doubt. I ruminate on my actions to which is no longer healthy or productive. Furthermore, my relationship with my manager is somewhat strained, despite my efforts to tell them of my issues.

Likewise, I am planning a wedding and trying to plan a stag (bachelor party) for another. Yet I feel so out of my depth. As though thrust into something feeling unable to adequately deliver. Both are very exciting, if not a little stressful experiences, that help pave the way for (hopefully) bright futures.

I also find that I compare myself to others. Looks, talent and prospects! Everything really.

Suffice it to say, and without taking your time further, that I am becoming a somewhat disheveled, unenthusiastic and nervous person. As though different. Lost in sea for which I cannot swim out.

I don't sleep that well. I struggle to remain positive and seldom have enthusiasm for most things. Although for all pretense, I try to keep positive and make a visual effort to remain the same.

That being said, I just don't know what to do. Any thoughts would be both welcome and appreciated.

Thank you
 
catmommy

catmommy

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 18, 2021
Messages
166
Location
Vancouver
I also find that I compare myself to others. Looks, talent and prospects! Everything really.
The tendency to compare ourselves to others is as human as any other emotion. But it only steals joy from our lives. And it is a habit with numerous shortcomings. Comparisons are always unfair. We typically compare the worst we know of ourselves to the best we presume about others.
 
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