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struggling to recover

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Clarke5

New member
Joined
Sep 12, 2020
Messages
2
Location
leeds
Hi,

I have had this problem from around the age of 13, i am now 19, i went for counselling years ago as i was in a really bad place, i had goals of weight, wanted to get my hands round my thighs, so i was ill back them, as the years have gone on i thought i was fine, but if i took a step back and had a think i knew i wasn't still have the fear of food and gaining weight, i want to be healthy and happy and i want to enjoy my life, but this controls it. I fear of having 3 meals, i have to train if i eat meals, i will choose the healthy option over the bad option ( even if i wanted it )but my brain controls me, i have 2 voices in my head, one saying no and one saying yes ( angel and devil and they've been there ever since my problem started. I struggle speaking face to face as i think people will judge me and because im not stick thini feel asif i dont have a problem anymore... But i do and im fed up of being so negative. Its so hard because i wish my parents understood aswell as my boyfriend but they dont, which makes it much harder, my stress and anxiety is through the roof. I have had constant migrances for 2 years due to this and always find i pull at my kneck and chest and worse times.
I just want to be a happy teen, but this takes over.
 
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Daringdan

Well-known member
Joined
May 8, 2020
Messages
122
Location
Louisville, Ky
I used to have body image issues but i gradually began to care less and less about it so that it would not stress me out. My point is, how you feel now, you can change a lot. I mean, I still care about diet and exercise I just don't stress anymore so there is hope.
 
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Clarke5

New member
Joined
Sep 12, 2020
Messages
2
Location
leeds
I still struggle with body image! I hate getting ready and having plans! Because I hate myself, i feel as though I need someone to train my brain
 
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Daringdan

Well-known member
Joined
May 8, 2020
Messages
122
Location
Louisville, Ky
It is generally true, I think, that you are much better looking than you think you are.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
3,854
Location
England
Hello Clarke and welcome to the forum. I think you would benefit from treatment at an eating disorder clinic. I would go to your GP and request it. How much you weigh is not an indication of you being well.
 
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Mary26

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 28, 2018
Messages
253
Location
USA
"I want to be happy and healthy and enjoy my life" is pretty abstract. What would that mean specifically? I ask because in my experience, the more concrete and specific your goals are, the easier it is to recover. Example of a strong goal? I was offered the leading role in a movie opposite Brad Pitt (sigh) contingent on my recovery. Now that person will likely recover. lol But seriously, my goal was to have a baby and I wanted it more than i wanted to be the thinnest person in the room. What do you want?
 
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