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Struggling to recover from the collapse of a friendship

L

Lipman1845

New member
Joined
Sep 4, 2019
Messages
3
Location
England
Hello,

It’s very difficult to cover the entirety of a friendship spanning two years, but I’ll try to outline it before moving onto my reason for posting.

I’m a guy, and I was friends with a girl. There was never anything romantic from either side, but at various times we were very emotionally close. We both loved each other in a platonic way, and this was expressed. However, in recent months the friendship has declined. I’m not entirely sure why. We hung out for the last time, and it just didn’t feel like she was enjoying herself. We spoke maybe three or four times following that. About three weeks ago she texted me her new number. We texted back and forth for a short time, but I deleted the texts (I delete all my texts) before I could save the new number. I have no social media barring Reddit, so there’s not much I can do. We haven’t talked for more than 3 weeks, and she has now moved away too.

I don’t know exactly what I’m feeling. I feel sad that someone I cared for so much is gone, seemingly for good. I want to reach out somehow, and yet not at the same time. I have felt weak at various times for asking her if we are okay etc, and I do feel some strength by counting the days passed and knowing I’ve survived. But at many points, most noticeably at night, I am overcome with the longing just to talk to her again. I miss her greatly, and I can’t honestly see anyone taking an interest in me again the way that she did. She was the first girl I really felt genuinely close to, and although I was always resigned to the fact that one day we might drift, I didn’t want to accept that things would end altogether. I just want my friend back. More than anything. I just want her back.

Sorry for the rant,

Adam
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
43,223
Location
Lancashire
Hiya Adam. Is it possible to go on Facebook and try to find her there? I know you say you aren't on it, but could you go on anyway somehow?

Its so hard when this happens and I can sympathise with you. There is no guarantees but its worth trying to find her. I am sorry that this has happened to you.
 
L

Lipman1845

New member
Joined
Sep 4, 2019
Messages
3
Location
England
Thanks for your reply :)

I could do, and some of my friends still have her on their social media. I’m just torn. Part of me feels that she hasn’t initiated contact either, so maybe I should just leave it. But the other part of me wants to ask a friend to ask her to text me. I don’t really want to get roped into using social media again (I always end up deleting it).
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
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Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
43,223
Location
Lancashire
I would suggest that you be brave and try just once to see if she is still interested in you. If not, then at least you know for certain and can try to move on with your life. Its the not knowing that is the problem isn't it?
 
L

Lipman1845

New member
Joined
Sep 4, 2019
Messages
3
Location
England
You’re right. It’s the uncertainty that’s the problem. Even if some solace can be taken from not knowing. I think I’d better ask a favour of someone. Thanks again :)
 
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