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struggling to keep myself afloat

megirl

megirl

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Apr 9, 2010
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NZ
Havn't been here for a while, sorry
Yeh I just feel like life is pointless,
theres so much going on and the days are just dragging by,everything is in slow motion. I feel like theres so much time to fill in and i just dont know what to do with myself

I have options for suicide available. I just am on a fine thread at the moment I feel like I am waiting for something but dont know what
 
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megirl

megirl

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Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
8,172
Location
NZ
Maybe this feeling at the moment is actually quite normal I mean I know the overdosing thing isnt great but I dont think i will go there really its that sense of unease but theres a bit going on here in nz and I think most people are feeling not that great really. We are lucky where i live but just north of us theres been a huge earthquake so many people affected. And now they have huge winds, torrential rain, it makes me feel guilty for feeling the way i feel
 
calypso

calypso

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There is no reason to feel guilt for how you are feeling, you are entitled to your feelings. I don't know the services in New Zealand, but maybe you can get more help from a doctor, although if like here, they just give out more pills. Do they offer counselling or therapy at all to help you through this episode? Sorry you are feeling this way megirl.
 
Russet

Russet

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Oct 30, 2016
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I have bp and it feels normal for me. It happens and is there for a while and just as i start to feel like i can't take any more, it lifts and i have a better day where i can walk outside and enjoy something the world has to offer me . You have some warm days coming up although when i am low or depressed, there is nothing crueler than sunshine. On easier days, it is nice sitting outside with your feet in the warm sunshine with and cold can of coke.
 
megirl

megirl

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I have seen my pdoc since my last OD a few months back. She goes on about it may be fatal one day.
any way I am now seeing an outpatient psychologist. My support worker is awesome but I guess its sometimes needs another type of focu well hes not a therapist, i guess. But anyway have told her lots of stuff about my childhood and my mother is a major trigger for me. I give her so much emotionally but well the abuse and I never saw it this way but she used to bash me and the psychologist terms it as assault i was like shit it was like a lightbulb went off and i was quite shocked to see things that way.
Yeh I dont need anymore pills and quite openly i disciussed this with my pdoc and she totally agreed. Which is good. (though sometimes i wouldnt mind a few anti-anxiety meds but well i probably would end up addicted to them) So yes feeling loads more positive

And Russet yes I am pretty well and stable also the hiccups are now becoming few and not lasting long at all. My support worker is very cautious about stating these observations I know its because of that abandonment issues but yeh I am on a pretty stable point in my life. So yeh sometimes its hard to see that
 
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