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Struggling to keep flat tidy, look after myself



New member
May 5, 2021
Hi, I wasn't really sure whixh section to post this in. Since the first lockdown I have been slowly slipping down this slope and I am really struggling to climb back up it. My flat is an absolute tip and getting really dirty, especially in the kitchen and bathroom and I am very ashamed of myself. I am glad nobody can come into my flat because it is getting disgusting and I don't want anyone to see it. I have never been a very tidy person and may have adhd but I got so anxious and depressed in the first lockdown that it got out of control. I live with my partner who works full time night shifts and he struggled with ocd. It really started with moving in, we left a lot of stuff in bags and boxes because the flat was unfurnished and we had no where to put it, so from the start the flat looked messy. I do all the cooking as I'm not working due to covid and my partner works. I don't really know how but I started not cleaning out plastic food packets and tin cans and just dumping them on the kitchen units. These then filled up and I started putting them on the floor. They went mouldy and dirty and I didn't want to wash them in the sink because of bacteria and I worried it would contaminate the sink. My partner didn't want to recycle them because they were dirty so I bought some large cardboard boxes and started filling them in there. So this started over a year ago and I still have all these boxes stacked up in the kitchen with dirty,mouldy food packets in them, some of which contained raw meat. The kitchen always smells pretty bad. I started washing used packets and cans out and recycling them but I have loads of old ones I don't know how to get rid of and it's really stressing me out. We don't have a car and I don't want to put them in with household waste because I feel too guilty for not recycling. I don't know if it is safe to wash them in the kitchen sink and then bleach it afterwards? Or is it too late as most have been in the boxes for months?

I also have various pots and pans and cooking utensils stacked up on one side, which have been there around three months, some had raw egg in and others have gone mouldy. I am not sure if these are safe and if I can clean them. Is bleach safe to use on plastic? And what about metal pans? I've heard white vinegar and bicarb of soda can be used on mould? I have a lot of anxiety about germs and bacteria, but I let things get this was and I am not proud but I started cleaning the flat last week and made good progress, it's just all these dirty food packets and plates etc. I'm concerned about. I can't really afford new plates but I worry about mould spores and salmonela.

Lastly, I have had difficulty brushing my teeth since March 2020. I think because I wasn't working and got out of routine. I brush about once or twice a week but my teeth are aching as I've been comfort eating a load of sugary crap the last year. I am so embarrassed about it and scared to see a dentist as not sure what to say. I am good in all other areas of personal hygeine, I shower at least once a day, sometimes twice if I go out. I worry about covid and I wash my hands countless times a day, I go through a bottle of handwash easily every 1 or 2 days.

Sorry for such a long post and thanks to anyone who gets this far!


Well-known member
Jan 5, 2011
I am sorry you are in such a state, it must make your depressed feeling worse. Have you seen a doctor about this state of mind? I think you might need help with this. You can ask for therapy as well as meds.

As for the recycling, can you get them to a recycling centre? There you can just dump them in a large bin and start afresh. Getting rid of them would be a first step in feeling better I suspect.

Are you sleeping properly? Lack of sleep often adds to these feelings and drives depression you mention, worse. I would advocate you get help soon. I hope other will be along to help you out with more support for your problems.

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