Struggling to get back into work

[A Celt]

Hi, I had a long slow decline in mood over several months last year. To be honest I didnt even realise it was happening until my wife confronted me about it. Unfortunately when she did, part of that conversation included her informing me that she has reached her limit of looking out for me, and that our marriage is probably at an end. This caused my mood to go through the floor.
Almost quit my job through just general despair, but thankfully my boss is a legend and was ultra understanding. Went to my GP and had my SSRI dose tripled to cope. Also was put on temazepam and zopiclone to try and get a proper sleep. Plus, after 10 years of offering, I took a referral for counseling.
Worked from home for a couple of months to limit exposure to extra tasks, and my boss controlled my workload.
Now, 3 days into work after holiday break, I'm disappointed to find myself feeling overwhelmed and jittery again. Can't focus on tasks and the usual strategy of writing out huge detailed 'To do' lists isnt helping.
Feel like I'm letting my boss down after he's been so awesome about the whole situation, so I'm reluctant to talk to him about it.
Damn, that turned into a download!
Can anyone suggest any possible coping strategies?

 

[Tawny]

I have been to Whakatane, how beautiful and especially this time of year

Which SSRI are you taking? Have you tried diifferent ones before or is this your first?
The first one i took made me feel so much worse but i have found one i feel better on now.
Sometimes too, increasing the dose, past the therapeutic dose, doesn't help very much with depression and can actually only make side effects worse. My psychiatrist told me this.

You cannot help being uwell, and are trying your best. Sometimes we have to accept our limitations, accept that we need time off sometimes, just like any disability. The brain can not work so well sometimes, for some of us.

Most importantly, with every single illness i am sure, stress is a major trigger. Even stress we put ourselves under.

 

[Fairy Lucretia]

welcome to the forum x