Struggling right now....

[Friedland]

I've recently been diagnosed with PTSD (October) and whilst going through some counselling through work had convinced myself that I was a lot stronger than I really was. I just about held it together for two weeks on the return to work program (two hours a night) and a sudden upset in my relationship with my partner had me running out the door in a state. The argument centred around both my condition and her own emotional difficulties, which creates obvious issues in our home life and has worsened over the past 6 months.

I ended up at the local A+E and was assessed by a duty psychiatrist, who sent me to a mental health recovery unit. I was there for a few days until I started to find my feet again (they were brilliant by the way). But on my return to our home I walked straight back into the kind of anger and upset that I was hoping to avoid. For my part, I absolutely accept my condition is difficult to deal with for those close to me and was in the process of arranging home visits to alleviate the pressure on those I love. My partner has had a very emotionally unstable upbringing and finds communication difficult, and disagreements can often provoke anger. I would love her to get help as I have done, but she tends to push people away. It's absolutely heartbreaking at times. So many people see our best side as a happy loving couple, but are unaware of the struggles we both face.

I called my helpline (who are part of the care team) and they told me to leave the house and get somewhere safe. So I'm now at my parent's house feeling shattered. Stability seems to elude me. I'm middle aged, with PTSD, losing my home, looking down the barrel of another ruined relationship. I'm lucky to have an employer that supports me, along with my folks and a handful of friends (they have been pure gold to me). Though right now I feel on my knees.

 

[Shadow-one]

Hi Friedland

to the forum....

I'm really sorry to hear about all the difficulties you have going on - especially at the moment...

Sounds like you have had to make some pretty big decisions recently between returning to work and moving out of your house... Not surprising that you feel so lost and vulnerable

Do you think there's any chance at all that your girlfriend would consider talking to a therapist - just even for her own wellbeing? I know how difficult it is to take that first step believe me, but sometimes learning more about why we are like we are, can offer a big sense of relief...

I'm diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder and to be honest, before I cracked completely and finally went my GP I thought that I was thee ONLY one in the world like me... It's a very lonely place to be...It was such a relief to get a diagnosis and realise that there were other people suffering just like me.... I'm therapy since, that was August 2015....

I'm not suggesting your girlfriend needs this of course, but if she struggles with emotions and relationships, it might really help.

Have you a regular therapist yourself? You have been through so much I really do hope you have some support in place for yourself.

And don't be too hard on yourself... You seem to pile the 'blame' all your way where in fact everything that happens in relationship's is created by both of you, so it's not all because of your issues.

Keep in touch and let us know how things are....

Best of luck!

 

[Friedland]

Hi Friedland

to the forum....

I'm really sorry to hear about all the difficulties you have going on - especially at the moment...

Sounds like you have had to make some pretty big decisions recently between returning to work and moving out of your house... Not surprising that you feel so lost and vulnerable

Do you think there's any chance at all that your girlfriend would consider talking to a therapist - just even for her own wellbeing? I know how difficult it is to take that first step believe me, but sometimes learning more about why we are like we are, can offer a big sense of relief...

I'm diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder and to be honest, before I cracked completely and finally went my GP I thought that I was thee ONLY one in the world like me... It's a very lonely place to be...It was such a relief to get a diagnosis and realise that there were other people suffering just like me.... I'm therapy since, that was August 2015....

I'm not suggesting your girlfriend needs this of course, but if she struggles with emotions and relationships, it might really help.

Have you a regular therapist yourself? You have been through so much I really do hope you have some support in place for yourself.

And don't be too hard on yourself... You seem to pile the 'blame' all your way where in fact everything that happens in relationship's is created by both of you, so it's not all because of your issues.

Keep in touch and let us know how things are....

Best of luck!

Thanks for the reply and words of encouragement. I'm back at home now with my partner and we're trying to work through things. It's been a very difficult time for us both and we're taking one day at a time.

Myself and others have tried to encourage her to seek counselling or speak to the GP. It's early yet, but I'm hoping that she will see the benefit for herself.

I'm receiving support from a local mens' therapy group too which has been very good. Also home visits from the Crisis Team and an approaching appointment with a regular therapist. It may help ease the pressure.