
trombone_babe
Well-known member
Hi everyone, just want to vent how I've been feeling lately. Bit of history first, I've been on ADs pretty much constantly for the past 9 years or so, various doses and various drugs. This has kept the problem fairly well under control. However, the last year has been a bit rough, I lost a close friend to cancer a year ago, my mum died in November and my hubby has been poorly and had a major op about a month ago. During this time I've felt myself going downhill and went to the doc. He changed my meds from 40mg of citalopram to 75mg of venlafaxine, which I was assured was an equivalent dose. After four weeks of hell (tried to leave it that long to give it time to work) I went back and he doubled the dose. Now in the last couple of weeks since my hubby had his op I've been struggling to keep going, extremely tearful and so lethargic. So now I'm on 225 of venlafaxine. Trouble is I'm still waking up with a dreadful heavy feeling inside, not wanting to do anything, even things I really enjoy and I want to sleep all the time. I cry at the slightest provocation. On top of all that, I'm being very clingy to a good friend of mine who's happy for me to chat, online cos I don't get to see him in person these days. I feel a very strong need to have him hold me close while I have a good cry and I think that spooks him a bit. I'd go to my hubby, of course, but he finds me being this low very upsetting and scary at the moment. I've got to the point where I'm pretty much obsessed with talking to this guy and I think he's getting fed up with it.
I've had counselling and stuff several times before and I've never found it very useful so I don't want to go down that road again, and I'm starting to feel there's nowhere left for me to go. I feel I'm going to be stuck like this for the foreseeable future and the prospect is awful. I'm struggling to cope at work and worried that I will have to start having time off, though this is the last thing I want to do as I enjoy my job, though I have a new boss and I'm finding that difficult as well.
Sorry for the rant, just wanted to get it out of my system
I've had counselling and stuff several times before and I've never found it very useful so I don't want to go down that road again, and I'm starting to feel there's nowhere left for me to go. I feel I'm going to be stuck like this for the foreseeable future and the prospect is awful. I'm struggling to cope at work and worried that I will have to start having time off, though this is the last thing I want to do as I enjoy my job, though I have a new boss and I'm finding that difficult as well.
Sorry for the rant, just wanted to get it out of my system
