Struggling a bit

[Onedayatatime73]

Hi everyone,

I am new to this site. I am looking forward to offering support and hopefully receiving some as well.

I've been in recovery for a long time, about 16 years. My children have never seen me sick and I am really grateful for that. I've been struggling on and off with restricting my food for the last five months or so. I am pretty sure what sparked it was when my daughter became very ill and had to be hospitalized four times in a short period of time. I've seen my general practitioner twice in the past few months. This last time she said she didn't want me to lose anymore weight and ordered lab work with nutrional markers. I had the lab work done and I'll see her on Monday. I don't weigh myself anymore or look at the number when I go see my doc. That's an old behavior that I use to feel enslaved by. I am scared my doc will think I am fat on Monday because I can tell by my clothes that I've put on some weight. I know that this is an irrtational Ed thought. So, I started restricting again because I know I am seeing her Monday. Sigh. Does anybody else get really anxious about going to the doctor and getting weighed? I have an amazing support network and I am grateful for all of them. Thanks for reading this very long post. I hope all of you have the very best day you can.

 

[Anon_21]

Yes, I despise getting weighed at the doctor's office. I feel they are judging me, though I'm sure they could care less what that number says. But I struggle with weight issues as well and have done the food restriction thing in the past too. So just having anyone else see it and write it down feels like an invasion of privacy.

But your GP sounds very supportive and will definitely not think you are fat. She wants you to be healthy, and restricting food won't help achieve that. Try to be kind to yourself

 

[Mary26]

I suspect that if your doctor encouraged you not to lose any more weight, she was concerned that your weight was too low and will actually be pleased to see that you've put on some weight. But that's not really the issue. The issue is that you're thinking this way because it's so easy for that eating disorder voice in your head to come back and take hold again. I know you don't want that to happen. When it happened to me (yes, I relapsed too after a long time), I couldn't believe I was slipping back into it and I really didn't want to go back there so I put myself on a meal plan and just forced myself to stick to it because I knew it was the only way I could stay safe, kind of like Odysseus tying himself to the mast of the ship as he sailed past the Sirens. I hope you stay safe.

 

[Frogg]

I definitely feel ‘guilty’ about my weight and I feel for you. It’s all so personal but I definitely think a lot of people can relate to what you’re going through.

Breathe and focus on reminding yourself you are perfectly ok just as you are. No one else’s opinion matters. You’ve had a tough time and you’re being strong for your children and that’s something to be proud of and remind yourself that you’re doing well.

It does sound to me like your doctor is caring and concerned so please don’t worry about what she might or might not think. She’s only wanting to help you.

Best of luck, hang in there you are doing great xx

 

[antimatterTek]

I hate going to the doctor, especially to labs to get blood work done. My medication demands drawing blood every few months to check the levels.

I have a self image issue. Everything but my belly is in shape, but my belly seems to mark it all down as unfit. I see it and just feel bad. I try to ignore it, but it is still on my mind every day.

I hope you can get back on track and feel good about yourself.