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struggles with alcohol

megirl

megirl

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I have been struggling with wanting to drink. I am managing but am so edgy like keep thinking about it and yet because hubbys away for all of easter i would be drinking but somehow have kept up with my antabuse.
I actually feel a little peeved with myself if i hadnt had the antabuse i could be drinking.
But then on the other hand my last 3 episodes of drinking i cant remember a large chunk of time.
3 lots of blackouts scary.
I arent even too sure on one occasion i had suspected i may have driven? I worked out i hadnt but i could have like I actually am scared. Am also scared that i feel so ill at ease like damn..
I have just got my pdoc to up my quetiapine by 100 mgs but i actually dont think i need it so am thinking maybe i should just take the 100 now and settle me down.
I have been good for 4 weeks now no alcohol.
My pdoc explained to me that as we get older the after effects of alcohol last longer for me ;the low mood post drinking.
So i keep telling myself all this its hard but i am so trying to get myself back on track
 
Cazcat

Cazcat

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Well done megirl, 4 weeks is great going, keep it up. You should be really proud of yourself. When you get that feeling tell yourself I'll wait a bit eg30 mins and see how I'm feeling then. Stay strong.
 
katya

katya

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You're doing so well. I know it's hard right now because your husband's away, but you should focus on the fact that, despite this, you are doing brilliantly. Is there anyone you could spend some time with when you're feeling weak?

I'd try to see your fear over your recent experiences as more of a push not to drink - it will make you feel ill at ease, thinking about it, but at least it'll remind you that drinking isn't the best thing for you right now. It'll hopefully stop you from going down that road. Please don't focus on it or feel guilty (that's not what I mean), but try to bear it in mind when you're feeling as if you're slipping, because you can't be doing that.

:hug1:

We're here for you. Stay strong.
 
megirl

megirl

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well I did it. Felt a bit blahr on I settled down
hubby got home yesterday and yeh I feel gd about the fact I kept up the antabuse and didn't drink.
Feeling quite good about it all. Hubby hasn't been away for so long in the last few years. and he believe d in me that I hadn't drank at all. I guess its something I may always have to battle with at times. But often I get less urges to drink wen I havnt touched alcohol for a while
thanx for the advice. Blackouts are bloody scary x
 
dubblemonkey

dubblemonkey

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hallo...I understand you

just .....know that I get you

...find a way with Robyn....

please be ok
 
katya

katya

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well I did it. Felt a bit blahr on I settled down
hubby got home yesterday and yeh I feel gd about the fact I kept up the antabuse and didn't drink.
Feeling quite good about it all. Hubby hasn't been away for so long in the last few years. and he believe d in me that I hadn't drank at all. I guess its something I may always have to battle with at times. But often I get less urges to drink wen I havnt touched alcohol for a while
thanx for the advice. Blackouts are bloody scary x
That's great! You should be really proud. Let this spur you on to keep going so the urges will be even more lessened.

Well done.
 
dubblemonkey

dubblemonkey

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I want you to know that its...ok to be you!

...regardless of anything...

love DM
 
megirl

megirl

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thanks,
yes feeling good that i didnt give in!
I really need to keep up with the antabuse starting and stopping it is giving me the chance to say ok...i will just have a few, which always ends up me drinking too much, then feeling like crap for several days after.
My pdoc a few weeks back asked me "do you think the antabuse is working?"
I told her about my drinking and so on.
I told her it was working???!!!
Well its not working if i keep stopping it. I thought to myself last week if I want to help myself i do need to bloody well use it.
In hindsight telling my pdoc it is working is like what the heck??? If i take the drug then obviously it will work.
Its amazing how the brain works lol!!!
 
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