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Struggle with Social Anxiety

K

kkaw0114

New member
Joined
Dec 30, 2020
Messages
2
Location
Los Angeles
Hi guys :) I am new to this forum.
ahh, where to even begin? Social Anxiety has been my enemy for as long as I can remember. I started grad school last year and one of the biggest worries I had was if I would make friends. I am well aware of how awkward and quiet I am. I know I am not the most fun person to be around too.. It is strange because when I feel comfortable around people, I do talk alot more and feel more at ease. Yet I struggle with getting to that point of being comfortable around others.. I have a few close friends, just not a big group of them. Not that this is a bad thing, but most of my friends are guys because i feel they are less judgmental and easier to get along with. when it comes to girls, I completely shut down because of that fear of judgement. I would love more friends that are girls. I feel so embarrassed of myself because it is such a struggle to maintain a simple conversation with people. It is like my mind goes absolutely blank and I have no idea what to say to the other person. I also turn red ALOT when I become the center of attention.. I hate it and i really don't want to blush like that anymore. Idk if anyone else has that struggle, I am sure some do. I always blame myself because I end up feeling really bad for making others feel awkward for my inability to maintain a conversation. Even during presentations over zoom, my voice and hands get shaky. It's embarrassing and I am at the point of not knowing what to do. I would love to have more friends and be more confident in myself to talk to others. I worry that my social anxiety will negatively impact my ability to do a good job in the profession I am working towards..

I came to this forum because I am afraid to tell my close friends or family of my struggle. I don't want to add a burden in their lives by worrying about me when there is so much more to worry about. I was hoping for some advice on how to handle social anxiety because I really do feel alone right now. and i was also hoping to somehow make friends on here too.
 
Bipolarbear808

Bipolarbear808

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 15, 2020
Messages
223
Location
USA
Hi guys :) I am new to this forum.
ahh, where to even begin? Social Anxiety has been my enemy for as long as I can remember. I started grad school last year and one of the biggest worries I had was if I would make friends. I am well aware of how awkward and quiet I am. I know I am not the most fun person to be around too.. It is strange because when I feel comfortable around people, I do talk alot more and feel more at ease. Yet I struggle with getting to that point of being comfortable around others.. I have a few close friends, just not a big group of them. Not that this is a bad thing, but most of my friends are guys because i feel they are less judgmental and easier to get along with. when it comes to girls, I completely shut down because of that fear of judgement. I would love more friends that are girls. I feel so embarrassed of myself because it is such a struggle to maintain a simple conversation with people. It is like my mind goes absolutely blank and I have no idea what to say to the other person. I also turn red ALOT when I become the center of attention.. I hate it and i really don't want to blush like that anymore. Idk if anyone else has that struggle, I am sure some do. I always blame myself because I end up feeling really bad for making others feel awkward for my inability to maintain a conversation. Even during presentations over zoom, my voice and hands get shaky. It's embarrassing and I am at the point of not knowing what to do. I would love to have more friends and be more confident in myself to talk to others. I worry that my social anxiety will negatively impact my ability to do a good job in the profession I am working towards..

I came to this forum because I am afraid to tell my close friends or family of my struggle. I don't want to add a burden in their lives by worrying about me when there is so much more to worry about. I was hoping for some advice on how to handle social anxiety because I really do feel alone right now. and i was also hoping to somehow make friends on here too.
Welcome to the Forum! I can relate to how awkward it can be meeting people in new situations. I'm not really good at reading people, so I'm never really sure what to talk about. I think the more you do it the easier it tends to get though. I hope you find the answers you're looking for here!
 
Talina

Talina

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
May 14, 2020
Messages
1,461
Location
Sweden
Hi and welcome to the forum :welcome:

I also handle social anxiety which can be quite crippling to handle sometimes. So I understand your struggles and worries. What have worked for me is slowly exposing my fear and learn where my fears come from. At least it have helped a little to ease it up. But the hardest part is trying to change how you think in a situation and not let the anxiety take over. It can be good talking with a professional and try CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) it can help quite a lot.

There are really nice people here and you can check out the Social anxiety forum to post and read threads. Also when you just want to have a light hearted chat you can join the chill out lounge.

It was nice meeting you :)
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
3,695
Location
Canada
Welcome to the forum. I've got this too. It sort of amazes me how common it is. On the other hand it's not so hard to understand why it is so common. People can be difficult, and developing anxiety and avoidance can be a coping skill. For me this happened at home when I was young and then it just got learned at an emotional level, not something I could ever just outthink or shake off.
 
K

kkaw0114

New member
Joined
Dec 30, 2020
Messages
2
Location
Los Angeles
Hi and welcome to the forum :welcome:

I also handle social anxiety which can be quite crippling to handle sometimes. So I understand your struggles and worries. What have worked for me is slowly exposing my fear and learn where my fears come from. At least it have helped a little to ease it up. But the hardest part is trying to change how you think in a situation and not let the anxiety take over. It can be good talking with a professional and try CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) it can help quite a lot.

There are really nice people here and you can check out the Social anxiety forum to post and read threads. Also when you just want to have a light hearted chat you can join the chill out lounge.

It was nice meeting you :)
thank you for the reply. it is much appreciated :) nice meeting you as well!
 
J

Janedoe543

Member
Joined
Nov 22, 2019
Messages
20
Location
Uk
I have terrible social anxiety and im the opposite. I find it easier talking to strangers on a once off occasion,it's when i get to know them more then i run out of things to talk about. I don't think social anxiety is common at all. Ive never met someone as 'quiet' as i am. I'm not someone who enjoys sitting in their room reading. I love being out doing things with people but some have said they don't connect with me because i always come across nervous and stand offish and they dont get it at all
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
3,695
Location
Canada
I don't think social anxiety is common at all
I googled "how many people have social anxiety" and this is the first bit of info:

" Fifteen million, or seven percent, of American adults have Social Anxiety Disorder"
 
jamilalam

jamilalam

Member
Joined
Jan 21, 2021
Messages
5
Location
karachi, Pakistan
I also feel the way you fell when there are girls around me. But there is something different b/w you and me and that is i do not feel alone because i feel it is good to be unique and i think it makes us unique. Plus, i read books instead of wasting time with those who demotivate me. I am not saying that you don't want to make a new friends, it is good thing to make new friends.
In fact people are your greatest assets in life.
 
S

sameoldonetimetwo

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2021
Messages
2
Location
St.Augustine
in a way because you believe you want more freinds ( and are definitley capable of it) the people you notice in everyday life are your friends, whats the worse that could happen? Anxiety>
 
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