Stress?

[worried]

Hello everyone,

I am new to this and I hope I have posted in the right forum. I started a new job 5 months ago and I was enjoying it initially, however now I am feeling constantly on the verge of tears, feel all churned up inside, I worry about things that have happened or may happen, I skip meals (lunch at work), I find it difficult to organise myself and make decisions (I make lists and lists but it doesn't seem to make me feel any better), I want to sleep all the time (although when I do sleep I wake up during the early hours of the morning and I worry about work), I have tried writing down my worries but I find they build up and up inside me when eventually I 'explode' and I have to tell someone - my mum. I feel guilty about this because I don't want to worry her. I double and triple check things at work (so I take longer to do things), and stuff I should know the answer to by now I still ask my supervisor. My supervisor has noticed I seem stressed and have asked what support I need at work, however I don't know. I don't want to seem like I'm not coping. I am having my appraisal in a couple of weeks and I am very worried. I used to look forward to things (I have signed up to 2 evening classes) but at the moment my mind is focussed entirely on work. I have had episodes of depression / anxiety in the past and have been on medication. However I stopped it a few months ago when I thought I was enjoying my job. I want to enjoy it but at the moment I can't face thinking about it. Any reassurance / advice would be gratefully received. Thank you. PS I saw a counsellor at work for the first time last week, I have an initial appointment for life coaching tomorrow and I am hoping to book an appointment for reflexology / aromatherapy.

 

[cloud96]

re: stress?

Hi Worried,

Your situation sounds similar to a situation I had a while ago at my old job.
Mainly, I got really stressed out at work, was depressed, and had social anxiety
A lot of the symptoms were the same, I skipped lunch, not well organized, took a long time to get stuff done, and was generally an emotional wreck. I had back pain also. I didn't want to talk to people yet I craved attention.

For the solution, I decided it was important enough for me to be on medication, but just temporarily while I figured out how to cure myself. Initially it was Paxil (SSRI, paroxetine), helped but the side effects were too strong (cloudy head and sexual impairment). Then I switched to a low dose of Effexor XR (SNRI, venlafaxine). This was actually great for everything and not too bad since I had insurance but I had to keep going back to the doctor, also expensive if you don't have ins and didn't want to be on it long term. After a while I tapered to a high quality extract of St. John's Wort which wasn't as good but found it to be adequate. Once I had looked at my life and made changes I finally tapered off the stuff.

At the same time, from the beginning I also saw a therapist who did help but not quite as much as I had hoped, and not the way I thought. We did a sort of CBT I think (cognitive behavioral therapy). Also at $20 a week it cost a lot.

Again at the same time from the beginning, I took a do it yourself approach I downloaded some books and audio files on confidence, depression, and anxiety from 2 companies: One called Uncommon Knowledge based in the UK, and another called something like the Charles Linden anxiety program. They both helped a lot. I highly recommend you get at least one of these and practice them religiously. It will teach you the fundamentals and how to get and stay happy and in control of your emotions.

In the end, I quit my job and moved to Thailand to do volunteer work. Sounds crazy but it was my dream and now I've lived it! During that time, I found out through volunteering, meditation, yoga, reading, and general experience what it takes to be happy regardless of external circumstances.
I hope this helps you, let me know if I can help further.