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    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Strange...

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Henry Clerval

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Nov 10, 2014
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Hi, I have joined today to try to understand a strange quirk that is getting worse. I get anxious about all arranged events, even if the event is simply printing a document or going to a shop. If its arranged in advance and I have to do it, I resent it and dont want to.

I'm really confident, can talk engagingly to large groups, but anything arranged begins to worry me from a week or so out.

It can be work or social. I often cancel stuff as a result. Even concerts I have been looking forward to it. I would say I'm happiest when things get cancelled!

What's going on???????
 

MarlieeB

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:welcome: to the forum.

I'm one of those people who needs to do something on the whim because if I make any kind of appointment I talk myself into the bad things.

I think it's only natural.

Marliee x
 
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Henry Clerval

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Thanks Marilee, that's sort of what i thought. I just need to learn to be a grown up and keep my appointments, after all I am 44 and a half now!

Glad to hear there are other people who need unpredictability.

Thanks again.

Henry
 

MarlieeB

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I'm 30 and I need to be all grown up and keep my appointments myself. The fact that you are sharing how you feel means that you are grown up enough :)

xx
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

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Nothing wrong with strange quirks unless they impact detrimentally on our lives. What I'm trying to say, i think, is that if it's really bothering you, continues to get worse or is having a negative affect, maybe talking to your GP about it would be an idea. If it's not bothering you too much and you're just looking for some insight or information, I'm sure you'll find it here.

I've been trying to teach myself how to be a grown up for many years. My children tell me not to bother anymore :)
 
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Henry Clerval

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Thanks both, yes that's exactly why I'm here, I can deal with most things if I'm simply given a point of reference. A benchmark from yourselves is helping.

Saving the gp for a time when I can't sort it myself.

;-)
 
catkin

catkin

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Welcome x
I cancel most things that are pre arranged and avoid setting things up as know will cancel and I regret letting people down in the past. Think it's anxiety and not trusting myself to cope, not being able to rely on myself....?
 
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Nicola398

Guest
Catkin,I was the same,had to keep cancelling things and eventually just said no to everything.I lost trust in myself.You can recover this trust,you can self partner yourself, self support, you have all you need within yourself to overcome this stage.When it was happening to me I was trying to pretend I wasn't ill and taking on things that maybe were too much of a challenge and outside my comfort zone and agreeing to turn up to them.I'd fully intend to go ,until the day before I'd get anxiety about it,and really get worked up.Then on the day I'd even get to the location and then just turn round and away and go home.In august I did this with an art class and that was meant to be for people with MI like us.I just couldn't face myself feeling left out among strangers.It is insecurity and lack of courage and loss of trust.I find being in the now, in the moment helps, see things from now on as a new start, resolve to do things differently, not to worry before or after ,live in the moment.Eckhart tolle says,'suffering needs time, it cannot exist in the present moment',just focus on being everything you need for yourself, if you need reassurance do it for yourself ,be there, so long as you don't self avoid and abandon yourself you will succeed, whatever happens you will face it one moment at a time and be your own best friend going along with yourself every step of the way.That is my new approach and so far it is working cos I am turning up to every appointment and giving myself my all!
You can too Catkin, don't see it as a problem, see this as a gift to help you to learn and grow.

Eckhart Tolle TV | Spiritual Teachings and Tools For Personal Growth and Happiness

I wish you all the best Catkin,Love and light.Nikix
 
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Nicola398

Guest
Hi, I have joined today to try to understand a strange quirk that is getting worse. I get anxious about all arranged events, even if the event is simply printing a document or going to a shop. If its arranged in advance and I have to do it, I resent it and dont want to.

I'm really confident, can talk engagingly to large groups, but anything arranged begins to worry me from a week or so out.

It can be work or social. I often cancel stuff as a result. Even concerts I have been looking forward to it. I would say I'm happiest when things get cancelled!

What's going on???????
Hi Henry:welcome:

Yes,me too, I am much better doing things spontaneously on impulse, rather than it being arranged days in advance.
I guess it feels compulsory that way and that it has to be planned and prepared for and in the planning stage doubts and fears set in!That is what I think it is with me.NicolaX
 
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Henry Clerval

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Nov 10, 2014
Messages
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You know those times when you realise just how many properly good people there are.

This is one of those.

Catkin, Nicola, one of the major upsides to being like this is never knowing what's going to happen.

I can decide what I'm going to order in a diner and when the waiter comes over I say something different, almost without any control over my decision.

It's not boring!!
 

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